Published October 7, 2005
I am just a person walking by,
Do i tell the truth or just plain lies?
You have no idea what I've heard and seen
You have no idea of the places I've been.
It's an ordinary day
Then suddenly, thousands dead.
Bodies bombed, bloodshed,
Why can't it be peaceful?
Why can't we treat each other like equals?
It hurts me to know i can't stop war,
I feel weak, helpless and sore
Fear has covered and trapped every part of me,
All those deaths i had to see
Brothers, sisters, grieving families.
September 11Th,
A day I'll always remember,
All the screaming, destruction and terror
Those who died will be remembered forever.
I wrote this in school for an English assignment, but i have now made some changes. I hope to hear everyone's thoughts.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,690 Literary Works • 675,575 Reviews
Thanks for your opinion and i have took some of your advice.
This line would be better with 'Then' added before 'Suddenly'.
"Then, Suddenly, thousands dead."
The word is bloodshed
These lines don't rhyme do they?
I wasn't sure what this poem was about, I thought it was about war first until I read "September 11th".
I guess it was OK, better than some poems I've read.