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E - Everyone

Be?

by AndyS6


Why? 

Why must it be? 

Why must it not be? 

What is there to be? 

One is to be as one is not to be. Is not being, being at the same time? If we are to be what is the standard of being? Can one be a being without being a being? 

Can one bend words to describe being a being by not being a being. Subsequently not being but describing being is a lie. 

Being is always possible even when one isn't a being. 

To not to be is to be. 

Since we all be does this mean there isn't a state of not being? 

But if there is being then there should be a state of not being. 

Is there no being or not being? Being is in of itself to be and not being? 

This is being.


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14 Reviews


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Wed Dec 23, 2020 4:19 am
Ailah2005 says...



I really enjoyed your writing! Thank you sharing :)

I love how your poem really makes me think. Like, really really think. You can connect to the reader really well, even by using such simple, yet very complicated sentences.

Thank you for that. I love the simpleness and the thought that you put into it.

Good job!
Ailah




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14 Reviews


Points: 240
Reviews: 14

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Tue Dec 22, 2020 6:08 am
Ailah2005 wrote a review...



I really enjoyed your writing! Thank you sharing :)

I love how your poem really makes me think. Like, really really think. You can connect to the reader really well, even by using such simple, yet very complicated sentences.

Thank you for that. I love the simpleness and the thought that you put into it.

Good job!
Ailah




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416 Reviews


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Mon Dec 21, 2020 6:59 pm
Willard wrote a review...



Hey Andy.

This review will be brief. There isn't much of a technical aspect to pick apart, wherein lies my 'critique'. You beg a philosophical question in the title alone, and throughout your work you emphasize 'being' via further philosophical questioning...

and that's it. Your work falls into a liminal space between aphorisms and an actual essay, lacking the conciseness of the former and the depth of the latter. My big suggestion is to develop this further. Instead of repeating the word 'being' and relying on the audience's implied understanding of being, try analyzing your own concept of being. Push further your questioning, your hypothesis, and let us know exactly what being is. Your essay is promising, it just needs more weight for both you as the author and us as the audience to chew on.

Onto smaller things:

Why?

Why not?

One is to be as one is not to be

This isn't clear, although I'm unsure of an alternative. You're suggesting something is concurrent, right? It could be changed into "one is being as one is not being'. Less of a linguistic limbo, but it's up to you for what works best.

Is not being, being at the same time?

The comma isn't necessary, messes up the flow. Quotations around 'not being' could separate itself from 'being' enough so what you're trying to say comes across.

Can one be a being without being a being?

Repetitive. 'Can one be without 'being'?' could be another solution. Throughout this you juggle two different kinds of being (the physical and the metaphysical) and which one you mean can become confusing.

Can one bend words to describe being a being by not being a being. Subsequently not being but describing being is a lie.

What do you mean by this?

To not to be is to be.

Is this 'be' the physical be or the metaphysical be? As in, can you still 'be' while not creating essence because of your physical presence? Or vice-versa?

Is there no being or not being? Being is in of itself to be and not being?

This is being.

What is?

The brevity of this work is what hurts itself. If fleshed out to a greater extent, not only would it jog our brains, but it would be quite enjoyable to read. Feel free to disregard this review by any means, it's just an outsiders opinion. Keep writing, of course.

Bless.




AndyS6 says...


Thank you, your critiques are actually really useful. A few of your comments actually make a lot of sense and was what I was looking for to make it a bit clearer. Now I shall go back a rewrite a second version of this and take into account your suggestions. Thank You! :)




it's ok, death by laughter was always how i've wanted to go out
— Carina