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Young Writers Society


16+

Never Never Land- Chapter One

by AndName


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

CHAPTER ONE

Dusk

It was dark.

Not so dark that I couldn't see the map in my hands or the blue street ahead.

"This doesn't make sense," I tilt the map so it catches more of the filmy, overcast moonlight, but nothing changes.

Bon is holding the stick out straight, forked end of it quivering like a pointed finger.

The night was cold, wind crisp, snagging the edges of my sleeves and hooking inside to brush against my wrists. It was everywhere, cutting clean through my pants legs, a shiver wracking my spine every few breaths, gathering in my ears, making them ache.

"The stick is obviously pointing that way." Sean’s voice is sharp and comes out hoarse. His voice was usually pointed, and always croaks, though now the sharp half he might just be because he's cold. And he is probably cold, the coldest of us all even, his jacket hanging off Bon's thin shoulders.

Across the street is a single story house, every window lit yellow, no blinds to obstruct the view of the shadows dancing inside. Noise escapes out of the wide open door, an annoying buzz even from this distance.

I liked nothing about this place.

"We should wait and watch. Find a place to hide till morning."

"Wait around all night? Hell no," Sean grabs for the map, but I skirt away before he can snag it.

He's being touchy. I can't say I blame him; I would feel the same way if I was in his position.

I fold and tuck it into my breast pocket before anything happens that we'll regret, "I don't see how this place is going to help us."

"And I don't see how standing around is either. We need to do something ."

His wide jaw is clamped, black hair shading his eyes so I can't see the expression that ignites there.

"Waltzing into an unfamiliar building full of humans is only going to get us found out. We don't look like them, Sean."

That's not entirely true. I almost laugh, but it's tasteless. Sean doesn't catch it, though his next words make me wonder.

"I can go in there. Look around."

"Guys,"

I do laugh then, the sound cruel in my hollowed out ears, "And find what? A clue?"

Bon growls, " Guys,"

I look over. The hood is pulled over her head, shadowing her face and her soft ears peeking out. Her whiskers catch all the silver moon, beams of light. She waves the stick, impatient, " Look."

I do.

A single figure is walking, stumbling, out of the house. A glaring light attached to the house buzzes alive like a giant firefly and despite how improbable it is, I recognize the human.

"No."

I turn to walk back the way we came.

Bon grabs my tail and gives it a rude tug, "Stop it,"

I swat at her, scowling, "We have nothing to say to her and I don't believe I ever will. Let go,"

She shoves the stick into my hands, shooting me a look I can't quite see, but can feel, "Why don't we go find out? Sticks don't lie."

Magical sticks might.

She's barreling forward and I catch Sean's round eyes, one of the few things about him that hint at his lineage.

He just shakes his head, following.

Bon

I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know if it's a bad idea. All I know is that my heart's still running from the Wolves.

Dusk

She smokes. She has a cigarette between her lips now.

It's peculiar. How her face hasn't changed, though at second glance I can hardly tell it's her at all.

Black makeup is smudged around her eyes, her lips a violent shade of plum. Her hair's the same, loose waves that end at her shoulders. Brushed though. I can't see a tangle.

"Damn. Nice costumes," Her voice is blunt with alcohol. I should know the sound; I grew up in a den of drunkards.

Bon is frozen so I rest a hand on her shoulder, "Elle."

Her eyes seem to sharpen, shooting between us before landing back on me, "Do I know you?"

"I should think so,"

Elle flicks her cigarette, carefree, and the ash flies off in our direction, though not close enough to burn. She laughs under her breath, "Afraid I don't, sorry."

My tail is whipping from side to side, in circles. I clench my fists to still it.

She doesn't remember us. I should have known, humans aren't like us. I try to tell myself it was a long time ago, but still, she should remember. I do.

"Honey Bunny." Sean snaps, stepping forward. My eyes flash to him. A moment of silence passed, then laughter cut through.

"Ha. Yeah. Funny. Real funny ."

It was too cold, too dark, and the map was just a map. Useless. Just like what we were doing now.

"You need to help us."

A blank stare aimed at Bon.

Sean snorts, his square hand going to Bon’s other shoulder despite the look she shoots him. I smile.

"Dusk is right, she doesn't know anything. We have to keep moving."

I would savor Sean saying for once I was right. But there isn't time.

"Where? Running around like chickens with their heads cut off because we don't know where the fluff we're going?" She hisses, shrugging both our hands from her shoulders, "We just got chased out of Never, we have no money, and they want us dead !"

Furious tears glitter in her eyes and she shoves her hands deep into the hoodie's pockets, "Keep looking at me like that and I'll whop you both over the head with that frogging stick."

I look away, a headache pounding between my eyes. It's been growing since we escaped down the well, chased by Wolves.

"Are you... real? Am I hallucinating or something?"

My ears twitch. Not at the sound of Elle's panic tinged voice but something else.

"Was I drugged?"

I scan the empty street, mechanical boxes casting long shadows and-

"Calm down, Elle, it's fine." Bon reaches out to touch her exposed elbow, but she jerks away.

Wolves.

I hear Wolves.

"We have to go. Now."

Bon whirls on me, stabbing a finger at my chest, frustration making her nose twitch, "What is it now?"

"They're on our trail."

Sean curses, turning in a full circle and Bon's eyes fly wide. I turn on Elle, "Do you have one of those wheeled boxes?"

"A car?"

I hiss, "Yes, do you have a car?"

"No, I have a bike though." She turns defensive, "What are you even talking about? Who's after you?"

I swallow, heart picking up its tempo all over again, "Is there a back door out of that house?"

"Yeah,"

Bon nods, already jogging ahead, Sean hot on her tail.

Elle. Her head is swiveling between them disappearing into the house and me. Bewildered.

She's changed so much.

I shake my head, "Don't follow us,"

I sprint up the drive and into the house, ignoring her as she yells, "Hey!"

The noise inside is worse than the wind, the pounding beat sinking deep into my ears and ricocheting there. I cringe, flattening them against my skull.

I try to gather myself, shaking the fog from my head, and using the wall for balance, run down the stuffy hall.

The wolves are after us.

We don't have much time. Now that they've gained our scent, not much can shake them from our trail. We can't stop moving.

There are laughing kids everywhere. Humans. Dressed as monsters.

I bump into one, drink sloshing onto my jacket coat, and I catch a glimpse of a Rabbit.

Her ears are knocked askew and she laughs.

Not a Rabbit.

I hurdle over a long stuffed bench, feet slamming down on a low table and reach an open door to outside.

I smack against the air, and stumble back, staring at the invisible barrier.

Reaching a palm out, I press it flat against a cool, solid surface.

I don't question, grabbing for the handle and wrestling it open.

They're behind a tall fence. Seeing me, they take off running.

Bon runs like the wind.

Faster than me, though she only comes up to my shoulder. I have to slow to Sean's pace so we don't leave him in the dust.

We can't leave him behind. He's the one they're after.

The Snakes. They're the ones behind this. The Wolves. The disappearance of the King and Queen, I assume.

They're after Sean now.

Honestly, I was tempted. At first. To run the other direction. Keep going till I was tucked away in some cart going down the Trade Road. Pass the Glen altogether.

Leave it all behind and become a dignitary in some faraway place.

But they're my only friends. Or Bonnie is.

A flash comes from ahead, a wheeled contraption with a person tottering to the side. They crash, skidding to a stop.

Not a wolf. I don't smell any wolves yet.

Bon reaches her first. I know it's her.

Stupid.

I stand by Bon’s side as she bends to help Elle up, Sean coming up behind us, huffing out white air.

"You forgot your..." She trails off, looking around, "Well, shit." She reaches out and holds up a stick with only one prong.

The magic stick.

I tear it from her grip though she hands it over without a fight, and examine it.

It doesn't quiver anymore. Broken.

I let it drop to the ground and Sean bends to retrieve it.

"Don't. It's broken and wasn't much use to start with." Then I turn to Elle as Sean grabs it anyway, the look he shoots me, defiant. "I thought I told you not to follow us."

"Whoa, I like your earrings. Those are new."

A growl rises from deep in my throat, but it scratches there and I cough.

Bon laughs, "A lot has changed,"

I scan around again, ears perked up to catch any noise, one heavier than the other with two thick gold rings.

"We can't stand arou-"

I'm cut off by Bon's laughter. Elle has reached out and has one of Bon's floppy ears in her hand.

Sean catches her arm, lowering it back to her side but Bon's smiling, short teeth and pink gums showing.

"You're Frog Prince." She points at him then levels her chipped blue fingernail at me, "And you're Dusky."

My tail snaps, "Dusk Fox. Not Dusky."

She continues and my nerves spike, "Honey Bunny."

"Her name is Bonnie. And if you can't help us then please get out of our way. Forget about us."

Like she had the first time. It's not too much to ask, it wouldn't be a miracle. We were her toys. And that's what she did, threw us away like old dolls.

I remember when we were small, laughing and playing underneath the sprawling limbs of the Stoke Oak. But she didn't come one day. Never climbed out of the well like she did. Like it was a secret magic trick.

We all thought something had happened to her in the other world. The human one.

And over the years, while we never mentioned it, we all knew she was probably dead. The human world is a vicious place.

Never is vicious as well.

Things like murder happen everywhere. Monarchs go missing from their beds in the middle of the night, from different parts of the map.

Secret letters are left to their only heir.

Wolves chase Foxes though the woods though it should be the other way around.

Old childhood friends make the mistake of their lives standing in the dark on a bitter night.

"If I help you, will you tell me what's going on?"

It's her death.

Sean picks the wheeled machine up but it won't balance, so he has to hold it steady. He glances around, the hair flattened where a crown rests, invisible, "Sure. But we can't stay long. Just take us somewhere to confuse their trail. Like a gas station?"

She nods, reaching up to touch her temple. My headache flashes to the forefront of my mind.

I don't ask what a gas station is.

"I think I know where one is. I need something to drown out the impending hangover anyway."

He hands the machine off to Elle, urgent, "Hurry."

I glance behind us once again, wondering- no, knowing this is a mistake.

But we don't know where the fur we are.

Even with Sean's not-so-secret visits to the human world.

Not even with the map. All it has are lines and words that jump around in my head.

A warm hand slips into mine and squeezes. I return the gesture, looking down at Bon. The black hood has slipped down off her head and the contrast between her wheat blonde bob she got out of some magazine I know Sean gets her, and the dark night is stark.

"It's gonna be okay." Her voice is firm and bright. Not necessarily like she believes it, but more like she wants to.

I don't believe a word.

Sean

No one talks about me being a Halfie. They all know though.

But what they don't know is how human I am. For instance, I have a tattoo.

Only one person knows that.

I used to wonder from who's side it came from. The affair. Father's a Toad and Mother's a Frog. I could be either, it's hard to tell.

I don't look full blood anything, though, that's for certain.


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109 Reviews


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Mon Sep 02, 2019 12:03 am
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Gnomish wrote a review...



Hello!

First of all, I really like the beginning of this chapter. It's engaging and pulled me in. I also really liked the writing throughout the chapter. It wasn't too slow, but it wasn't rushed either, and there were lots of descriptions and details.

Moving on to the plot. So here's what I think is happening. There are three characters, Dusk, Sean, and Bonnie, and they are on the run from Wolves. The left Never, which was there home, and now they are in the human world. I'm pretty sure they are all stuffed animals (correct me if I'm wrong), and they used to belong to this girl named Elle, then she abandoned them.

One thing that confused me was the names of who's point of view it was. I think if you wrote them in bold, or underlined them, or just made it clearly a new chapter.

On another note, I really liked how you said "where the fluff" and "where the fur"! It's a cool play on words!

That's all I have to say, can't wait for the next chapter!
-Gnomish




AndName says...


I'm laughing. Hard. It never occurred to me that they might seem like stuffed animals...just the picture of three plushes lost in the big wide world....no. Dusk, Bon, and Sean are actually a strange sort of human/animal combination. They have ears and tails, but human bodies and faces that resemble that of the animal family they belong to. Maybe I should make them stuffies though. It paints a great mental picture. :)



Gnomish says...


Okay, good to know! Post the next chapter soon please!



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Fri Aug 30, 2019 1:03 pm
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Lib wrote a review...



Hey AndName!

Hope you're doing well today or tonight, depending on what side of the world you're on, obviously! I'm here to give you a review, to help get this story out of the Green Room. Let's get right into it, now, shall we? Alrightyo! :)

Just saying: I'll be using the YWS critique sandwich for this review. ^^

Okay, so this seems interesting. I like the description of the chilly night you give. And then there was the human who the main characters knew. And she was drunk... Hm. This looks cool. And you've got different POVs! My favorite! (:

Alright, so I little bit of critiquing now. So first of all, when I first read "Dusk", I thought it was literal dusk. As in the time of dusk. Not the name Dusk. Maybe you could've done something to maybe bold Dusk like so: Dusk. That would've made sense. And the same with Sean and Bon.

You did get into POVs, yes, and I love the challenge you took - it's always challenging - but, maybe you could've made us get to know your characters a bot more. Yeah, we know Dusk is with these two other "animal" like creatures, but once you get into the dialogues, it gets confusing because you don't tell us who's talking, ya know?

Well, I hope this review helped in some way! I can't wait to see where you take this story. Of course, if you've got any questions, feel free to ask me whenever.

And as always...

Keep on writing!

~Liberty

:elephant:





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