The most beautiful stories,Are ones forever interwovenWith that of tragedy and death--,As if suffering is like a rose; Painted in blood, with its thorny stemYet seemingly immortal and lovely.
Hi Anamel back again the way I loved your poem Amberheart I just had to read more of your work. First of your poem Tragedy is short sweet and connects with the title of the story. I loved the way you described the rose actually I have never seen the rose in that way but after today I will look at it in an another way. Love the way you said, "Painted in blood, with its thorny stem yet seemingly immortal and lovely." It was line 5 and 6 it really touched me and made me feel this spark in my veins when I read your poem I can not wait to read your more of your poems. Please tell me when you post your new work I wanna be the first one to read your amazing work. You really talented and keep on writing
Hello, Anamel! I'm here to review your poem! (I mean, duh, me, what else would you be here to do?)Let me start by saying that I really like your figurative language. And wow... I am never going to see roses the same way again! Also, the overall flow of the poem is spot on! I only saw a few things that could be tweaked.For one thing, in the first line, I'd cut out the comma, as it doesn't make much sense to add a pause in between the two lines, ya know? Reread it outloud, if you don't know what I mean.Also, I don't think there is supposed to be a comma at the end of the third line. Other than that, this was a very interesting poem to read! Keep on writing, and have a great day!
Hello! FlamingPhoenix here to leave a short review on your work on this lovely day. Let's jump right into it. It's amazing how you could put so much deep emotion into such a short poem, and the way that emotion just pulled me in was really good, it got me captivated on your work, and it made me keep reading. I also like how you tell a story that is really sad but true with so little words. it just couldn't take my eyes away from the words this was so good. I like how you use a rose to explain what you meant, that was really descriptive, and it made the poem more clear and easier to understand. I really don't have to words to express how much I feel about this poem. In my head it is beyond amazing, it astonishing!As you can tell I really, really loved this poem and I can't wait to read more of your works in the future, so don't ever stop writing and post again on YWS! I'll probably go and check out your other poems too. Have a great day or night.Your friendFlamingPhoenix.Reviewing with a fiery passion!
Hiiii, here to review! I love the shortness to this poem. It just zips right in and still stays stuck in your mind after the last line. I find that's pretty awesome to do in poems. Also, the shorter a poem is, the harder it is to convey a message. But you still did it quite beautifully.However, no offense, but the ending didn't come across as striking. The beginning was rather nice, painted with imagery. But the ending didn't hit me, it should've been more suspenseful and complex, ya know? I'm all for simplicity, but I think the ending needed a spark. But it just wasn't there.I liked the words you chose, but I have another complaint about the ending...Sorry.But if you were gonna do the ending like that, then you should've just ended it at "Yet seemingly immortal." and not added the lovely. Idk why, it just sits better to me.ANYWAYS. I think with a little work, this could be amazing. The ending didn't serve this fantastic poem justice!Always keep writing! I know I say that to everyone, but like for real. Never stop.-Daria
The one thing that struck me in your poem of tragedy, is the rhymes. Exactly, there are none. A story of love has a flow, it’s the best way to make that story sweet and beautiful- and if it’s a tragedy, people usually have no rhyme or an irregular rhyme just when they describe the tragedy at the very end. But yours has no rhyme whatsoever at either beginning or finish. Whether it was by choice or only lack of rhyming ideas, I still feel as though I should point that out. Then there is the very structure of your poem. The last three sentences.. wut?! As if suffering is like a rose painted in blood with its thorny stem? I thought maybe you meant that on first glance the beauty of the rose representing love seems lovely and sweet although it can prick you if you get too close. That’s usually the imagery employed when you use a rose as metaphor, the deadly beauty of the rose, thus of love. But you completely overlooked that. Suffering is like a rose.. Unless you meant the rose is painted in its own blood, in which case I get the suffering.. but the thorny stem..? It’s like a porcupine which would say he suffers of his protective spikes. Why? Do you mean that.. maybe the rose is so protected from the outside that it never is loved and can love? Is that the suffering? In which case.. that would be brilliant. But you never hint to that. I just said that because I dug in too deep into interpretation. Maybe your rose is not about protection holding you back- maybe it’s just dumb imagery. However, if I am wrong; I would genuinely appreciate you explain it to me
I am here to reviewwwww. Okay so this is a great poem. Very beautifully written, I love how you have managed to create such emotion in a very short poem. That shows you are a very talented writer. The only thing I noticed is that you don't have a comma after "with its thorny stem". And maybe you could pick another word instead of lovely, just a thought.Besides that I think this is a really beautiful poem and I also think you have a lot of talent.Keep writing!
I really like this poem. I enjoy how structureless it is, really leaving it open to interpretation. your use of punctuation is commendable, the only thing I noticed is a missing comma after "with its thorny stem". Overall, this is a great poem. I like the message it sends as beautiful stories do tend to be tragic ones; after all, what is a life without conflict?
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