z

Young Writers Society


16+

Auditory Processing Disorder

by Anamel


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

“I had a library down in Idaho
my father owned it back in ‘82
the fire took everything we had.”
I use filler words in turn for yours,
hoping my guess is not too far from the mark:
“I’m sorry to hear, what a crazy thing--”
Your lip turns so slight at the lapse in my expression
you think I’m disinterested in your speech.

In comes a young mother with a child at her hip,
“Do you have books on counting?”
of course, I say, leading her astray to the children’s section
“No, no, I mean accounting. For me.”
I think I see embarrassment on your face
you think your accent is too rough, English not good enough.

“Would you mind looking this up for me?”
the title is PCCARDAF,”
Trial and error smashes its wooden hammer
relentlessly on my eardrums and shaking fingertips:
“Is it this one? By this author? Does this look right?”
Until, finally, it tires and retires in the base of my skull
I finally got it right, yet it is too late for redemption
I think I see anger blooming on your cheeks
you think I’m a ditz, a slow son of a bitch.

But there comes a time of relief,
when the old woman apologizes for her hearing
and annoyance when
the man says it is impossible for a young person to be hard of hearing--
would it be better if I explained I was an alien, 
new to the intricacies of your oh so better human talk?

Dread arrives on his black muscled horse
when it comes to P as in Paul, A as in apple, C as in cut;
those devilish numbers twiddled in a patchwork of sound.

And all I can hear are the clopping of hooves,
a trainwreck of syllables in the eye of a storm
falling and stumbling upon themselves like dominos
yet I hang onto every word as if it is a game of life or death
and then comes lava pouring through my veins,
the grit forming clenched between my teeth
as I ask, in my best customer service voice:

“What was that?”

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218 Reviews

Points: 13763
Reviews: 218

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Wed Mar 02, 2022 12:20 am
WinnyWriter wrote a review...



Hey, there! I was intrigued to see this, and I appreciate that you've expressed the feelings connected with APD. My sister has an unofficial diagnosis for APD, so I am familiar with it. Anyway, that being said, I think you have used several creative ways to depict and express what goes on with an auditory processing disorder. The illustrations and examples pave the way to uphold the your topic and reinforce your subject.

It appears that your spelling and grammar are pretty good. I personally feel like the inconsistent number of lines across all the stanzas looks slightly disorganized, but it's really not a major problem or anything. I do really like how you isolated that last line by putting space between it and the stanza just before it. I think that really emphasizes it and clinches the whole work very well. It's the final flourish, and is done in a way that just makes the ending very satisfying. It sums up the details of the issue in a nice, succinct way. Good work.

In the next to last stanza, you used the word "numbers" in the last line. I think this word gets the idea across, but to be more accurate considering the context, I think the word "letters" would be more fitting. Or even "characters." Anyway, just something to consider.

I assume APD is something you struggle with personally. I hope you are encouraged in knowing that you're not alone, and it doesn't devalue you at all! There's no shame in having to wear glasses or take blood pressure meds to correct issues like that, so there should be no shame in having an auditory processing disorder. It's not your fault that there aren't really any equivalent corrective measures for it (as far as I know). So be encouraged!

Once again, good work, and thanks for sharing!




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Reviews: 60

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Mon Feb 28, 2022 9:16 pm
LizzyTyler says...



Hello! I’m jut here to drop by for some #GreenRoomQueries !

First off, I loved the way you presented your poem. It doesn’t fit in the normal bounds of a poem, and I love that! How did you decide what “format” to use?

Second of all, the strikethroughs? *chefs kiss* Perfect. It really drew in the topic of the poem, making it readily clear what it’s about. Speaking of the topic, how did you come up with the idea? Do you have an APD? Are you speaking from experience?

Really enjoyed your poem! Stay safe and keep writing!

-Lizzy




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Sat Feb 26, 2022 11:10 pm
illy7896 wrote a review...



How detailed this is! It's so rich in texture: there are so many thoughts, themes and ideas running through here and the vocabulary is great. It can be confusing at times, but I think that's the point of it so great work! Even though I don't have this problem, this poem allowed me to grasp what it is like and the disorientation that auditory problems causes, and even the reactions and emotions of others as well as yourself. I love how you have added input of the lady's opinion of the problem and other people's impatience, adding to the stressfulness of the situation. And, how at the end you have said:

as I ask, in my best customer service voice:

“What was that?”


which, is relatable to those who work in customer service even if they don't have the exact same problem, or the feeling that you must keep calm and under control even though it is tempting to give up or quit trying.

And all I can hear are the clopping of hooves,
a trainwreck of syllables in the eye of a storm


There's a lot of vivid language which I really, really admire but I want to use this one as an example because it highlights the stress and chaos that it brings you, and by using 'clopping' and 'trainwreck' it makes the words seem as if they are unrecognisable or just a mix of sounds and speech. And how you have used 'storm' emphasises this even more, detailing the build-up of disorder.

I had a library down in Idaho
my father owned it back in ‘82
the fire took everything we had.”
I use filler words in turn for yours,
hoping my guess is not too far from the mark:


The way you have used lines to cross out the words you have guessed draws on the uncertainty that guessing has, and the unsureness of what the person is saying. It's the trial and error of assuming people's speech and the trial and error of trying to understand or translate something you cannot truly understand, just like at school when you are searching for an answer that you do not know.

would it be better if I explained I was an alien,
new to the intricacies of your oh so better human talk?


This is a perfect statement to show how the narrator feels alienated and isolated from the rest of the society, which happens frequently for many circumstances. The way you have described language as 'human talk' shows how they feel cut off, or forced to comply into a world that they can't understand or they feel drowned in, as it is intricate and complex.

as I ask, in my best customer service voice:


This line here does go well in the poem, however in my personal opinion breaks the flow a little bit. Maybe changing the use of 'customer service voice' could work better and flow more. But the phrase still works anyway!

I really liked this poem, and it's given me an understanding for a disorder I have never considered before. Thank you for reading!





Man is by nature a political animal.
— Aristotle