Published October 1, 2006
I see you standing there
you look me into my eyes
all the possibilities of what your thinking
start to pour into my mind
tonight is the night we love
the time we spend together
no matter what happens
just know
i love you.....
yesterday she told me
what she saw you do
it broke my heart in two
i thought i would never hear
this terrible tragedy, but i guess
i don't have much luck in me
tonight is the night we make up
the time we spent not together
in each others arms
if you do this again
just know
i will always love you
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140,607 Literary Works • 673,549 Reviews
This song was OK. Nothing really jumps out though, and I think that's a problem. Most of it is sort of cliche and a little hard to realate to. I suggest rewriting it and changing a few things. Make your song stand out. With some tweaking I think this could be good.
hmmm..that was nice.
Kepp up ur good job.
A couple lines didn't seem to fit into the flow very well. You lost me by the end of the third line. And "this terrible tragedy...luck in me" just didn't fit really well. And "it broke my heart in two"? Have we not already heard that a thousand times? Any way we can get something more interesting going on there?
I liked the chorus. Good work and keep writing!