I catch myself staring out my window.
I’m waiting, watching, hoping to know.
Time passes slowly.
And yet I can still hear the clock tick.
Letting me know I’m still here, waiting.
The thought makes me sick.
What happens if you don’t come back?
You once told me that I had no flaws.
Now, I see its courage I lack.
Will you leave me here, love?
Leave met to wait, to hope.
As I watch from above?
Must it be eternity that I am to wait?
I pray nightly, the Lord, God my soul to take.
For if I am to be here without you by my side…
I know without doubt I’d gladly jump and face the tide.
But even through the darkness, I strain my eyes to see.
Hoping and praying, you’ll come back to me.
For a promise made, is a promise kept.
This you swore to me, even as I wept.
Even now, with all the time passed.
I know I’d wait here forever, if you ever asked.
I’ve prayed silently, each and every day.
Please, Dear God, show him the way.
In my despair, I’d forgotten to hope, as I stared out to sea.
But as I looked out again, I saw that God brought you back to me.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
It was pretty good. Just to let you know, that you do not have to add markings in the end since it’s a poem but it doesn’t matter.
I pray nightly, the Lord, God my soul to take.
The rhymes were pretty good, but I hate to say: this poem was very cliché.
Its perhaps my own problem but I just see so many poems of these broken heart girls, so that’s one thing for starters, so I kind of didn’t expect nothing new.
Spoiler
This line is over used in poems and songs, like Mettalica.
I agree there are not that many words that might have the same rhyme but then again poems do not have to have rhyming all the time.
"Forced Rhyming" some people call it.
Sure you might have to go back and change to beat of a song but I think its not that bad.
Other wise the poem did have a beat. Some sentences were a bit stretched and long so the beat might lag a bit, again try not t force rhyming and squeeze in the words.
The poem was still pretty good, just try to change the them and the plot next time, also do not force rhyming.
I really like this poem! It shows the longing of this person, and she seems to have waited such a long time she's lacking hope and angry and despair are filling her up. Such a touching story. My favorite line:
Okay maybe my favorite two verses. Beautiful poem. Keep up the good work!
This is really interesting. I can almost sense a bit of anger in her. She seems to have a bit more sentiment and thought in her as opposed to other women whose men trek the great sea. Very good job adding feeling into it!