I've only just started this, but I have much written, if your curious to what the story is about feel free to PM me, or just ask on a review... but yes, very much a work in progress.
Finally, school was over. Sometimes I wondered if the entire point of the school system was just to torture us. But at least I had the walk home to look forward too. Except today I was walking alone. My best friends Sylvia Stone and Chastity Reid, normally walked with me, considering we lived in the same neighborhood. But for some reason today both of them skipped out on me, with totally random reasons.It was strange, but I didn't think much of it. So I pulled out my Mp3 player and started down the road. It was about five blocks to school, so riding the bus was completely ridiculous and I refused to do it. One thing I liked about living in a small town, is most of the stores are close together. I passed some of them on the way home.
One of my favorites was this little bookstore/coffee shop called “Bookends”.I knew I should probably get home… but there was a new book coming out today that I really wanted. So, I sent a text to my mom, telling her where I was, and went inside. I loved this little shop, because well for one thing, it always smelled like coffee. But it was just the atmosphere of the place, always friendly, always welcoming. It was a place where you could come and just relax. The store owner Joe had been friends with my mom since we'd moved here from New York.
He was at the cash register, ringing someone up, I waved hi, and he flashed me a smile, his teeth always looked really white next to his scruffy mustache.
I continued walking until I made it to the actual book shelves. One thing about Joe’s shop is it had plenty of places to sit, you walk in and the coffee shop part is on your left, then a sitting area, full of brown leather, over-stuffed chairs, and small tables for the coffee, things like that. Only then did you get to the actual books. Joe had all the classics and most of the new things that came out. But it was nothing to what I remembered from New York. Still, I loved it. This place was like a second home to me. I started browsing, until I found what I was looking for, but then I felt a shiver down my spine.
Something was wrong. Something was always wrong when that happened. I looked around the store, and saw nothing out of the ordinary. So, I headed towards Joe to pay for my book. I got to the register, and glanced around again, just to be sure. But this time I noticed a guy about my age, or maybe a bit older sitting in one of the leather chairs. He was dressed entirely in black, had black hair that came to just above his shoulders and blue eyes, blue eyes that were staring directly at me. He had an open book in his hand, but hadn’t been reading it. For one thing, he was holding it upside down. I gave him a small, polite smile, and turned to pay for the book.
When I looked back, he was holding the book right side up, staring at it intently. I laughed softly and left the store. Feeling much better having stepped outside, I cranked up my Mp3 and started to sing along. I hadn’t taken more then five steps to turn the corner of the store, when I saw something move in the corner of my eye. I looked back and the guy from the store was standing there. Immediately, another shiver ran down my spine. Whoever this guy was, he was not good. He did not move, nor did he speak, he simply stared at me for a moment. I blinked and he was gone. I seriously needed to get some more sleep. I was seeing things now.
Random guys didn’t just appear and disappear in the blink of an eye. I walked back to the window and looked inside. The guy in black, who I thought had just been standing in front of me, was still sitting in the exact same spot. He looked out the window, and smiled at me. I jumped, I don’t know why… but something about his smile… shouldn’t have been a smile.
Get a grip, Katrina. I thought to myself.
I really needed to get home. For one thing I hadn’t been sleeping much, stupid dreams kept keeping me awake. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t block them out, I’d wake up in the middle of the night, with tears running down my cheeks… sometimes I’d wake myself by screaming. It just depended on what I was dreaming. But these dreams were so real, so life like… I shuddered trying to forget. I could deal with strange people and strange conversations that made no sense to me, all that was semi-normal for me… but lately, there was one dream that just plain scared me. It was so… real, yet unreal at the same time. It was a war, or what looked like a war. With fighting all around me, I stood in the middle of a field facing two people. Two fierce looking people, who looked as if they came from two different worlds, both were telling me the same thing.
“Choose your side Katrina, you must choose.”
It was constant, and constantly annoying. Because the war around me looked like it was from another planet. The sky had turned blood red, and smoke filled the air. The people were human, or at least looked it, but they were stronger. You could see it just by a glance at them, some looked evil, others almost heavenly. I mean honestly how did that make sense?
Before I realized it I had walked all the way home.
I know I stopped in an odd place... should I add more?
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Wow that was amazing and good job and hope to see much more from you^^ you were amazing and hopefully you will continue on with this one for i wish to read on and learn much more about what's to happen next^^ good luck and happy writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Soulkana<3
It seems you're in need of a review.
It's usually ok to put the period inside the quotation marks- thus, "Bookends."
This here is what we call a run-on. It's easy enough to break it into two or three sentences. Trying starting with "I waved hi" and see how it works for you.
You might want to consider giving us the main character's name earlier in the chapter. When Joe greets her is a good place; he can just say, "Hi, Katrina." Write some more; this story has piqued my curiosity.