Black Box

This poem was amazing I loved the way you rote it too. It just flowed so perfectly. Like all the others are saying I got lost in this poem too. It's got so much bottled up emotions all over it. It was just wow!

This poem was AMAZING! You definitely get my "like"! I don't have ANYTHING to say about the story itself, I just have a few grammatical errors Here we go!

Amberchelli wrote:Your this needs to be YOU'RE. "Your" is possessive as in "your house". "You're" is like 'you are' so it'd be "you are steeling my life." Just a simple grammatical mistake that lots of people make stealing my life.
Sealing up the corners.
Locking the doors.
Taking me away.

Amberchelli wrote:We've never departed
Now im The "i" needs to be capitalized and you need to add an apostrophe "m" making it "I'm" once again, just simple grammar xD gone.
Faded memory.
Just another dream.

Amberchelli wrote:The days pass in a dark glaze.
Mind still trying to process
To find a way to fix this.
Why cant just need to add an apostrophe making it "can't" you see me?

Amberchelli wrote:Don't you love me?
Didn't you need me too?
Havent another apostrophe it just needs to be "haven't" I always been there?
Guess it wasnt enough for you.

Amberchelli wrote:We've never departed
Now im make this "I'm" gone.
Faded memory.
Just another dream.

Amberchelli wrote:Never again,
I've paid my dues.
Lost my mind.
And now i've just capitalize the "I" making it "I've" lost you too.

Simply wonderful, it had that nice and gloomy ecstasy. It was very mind consuming; I was very confused

The hits come

The walls are rising.
The words are flying.
The light is dying.
Along with all we used to be. The punctuation in this stanza is fine until the last line. The last line can't stand on its own.

Your You're stealing my life. Your is possessive, as in "your cat", you're means "you are" as in "you are stealing my life"
Sealing up the corners.
Locking the doors.
Taking me away. I would suggest changing the periods at the end of the first 3 lines to commas

The hits come
To my broken heart.
The tears fall
From the tearing apart.

Don't you love me?
Didn't you need me too?
Havent I always been there?
Guess it wasnt enough for you.

Guess you've boxed me in
And written junk.
Soon to be abandoned again.
Soon to lose my mind.

A few words we never said
I love you,
I'm sorry,
I forgive you.

We've never departed
Now im gone.
Faded memory.
Just another dream.

The days pass in a dark glaze.
Mind still trying to process
To find a way to fix this.
Why cant you see me?

Why dont you understand?
I need you.
You use me.
I still come running back.

Never again,
I've paid my dues.
Lost my mind.
And now i've lost you too.

This is such a sad poem.
I really enjoyed it: the description was perfect, I could picture everything!
The wording was very well done and the flow was nice and smooth; not to bumpy or boring either.
Great job!
Will.

Wow! This is so close to a freaking amazing poem. (Excuse the mild language.) There were some really smart images and rhythms and rhymes. Here are some comments and suggestions:

The hits come
To my broken heart.
The tears fall I felt like this stanza
From the tearing apart. wasn't as strong as your second stanza. (Just to consider:
you say your broken heart.
Like your heart is already broken then 'the hits come' then the
tearing apart.Is that what you meant?)
Don't you love me?
Didn't you need me too?
Haven't I always been there?
Guess it wasn't enough for you. I appreciated your voice in this stanza. I felt like I could really hear all the things you wanted to say and all the hurt.

Guess you've boxed me in This is my FAVORITE!!! line of the entire poem. I had to read it twice fully understand it but once you do it is such a great image.
And written junk.
Soon to be abandoned again.
Soon to lose my mind.

A few words we never said
I love you
I'm sorry
I forgive you. This stanza doesn't fit in with the rest of the poem. I like the message, so maybe work on it.

We've never departed
Now I'm gone.
Faded memory.
Just another dream. I'm not sure if I like this line. It doesn't seem like this relationship was a dream. Not all the time anyway. He used you and hurt you. The faded memory works but I'm not sure the dream does.

The days pass in a dark glaze.
Mind still trying to process
To find a way to fix this.
Why can't you see me?

Why don't you understand?
I need you.
You use me.
I still come running back.
My suggestion is that you need another stanza in between these two. It sounds like you go back to him, then immediately leave and realize he wasn't worth it.
Never again,
I've paid my dues.
Lost my mind.
And now I've lost you too. I'm not sure if it was supposed to sound this way but the last line, you sound really sad about losing him, even though throughout the poem you tell us how the relationship definitely had it's problems.