z
  • Home

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Kitty Mei Saves The Day: Chapter Two "Knock, Knock"

by AmberMelanie


Chapter Two: Knock, Knock

The lunch line is really long today. I am standing with Dana Worthington-Wittard and Sierra Pratt, two of my friends from class. Dana is telling us how unfair it is that her mom won’t let her get a cell phone, because according to her she needs one to survive.

“How am I supposed to talk to people on the weekends?” she demands.

“I use the family landline,” I say.

“I can’t memorize people’s numbers,” Dana objects.

“Write it down on a piece of paper,” Sierra suggests.

“But nobody memorizes their family landline number,” Dana argues. Sometimes I think she just likes to argue because she gets bored. She only has brothers at home; maybe that’s what they do all day. “And anyway, if it belongs to the whole family, then I’ll never get to use it.”

“You could make a schedule,” Sierra says, but we both know it is no use. Dana keeps arguing until we get our food from the lunch line and bring our trays to our usual table; me next to Sierra, and Dana across from her. A few minutes later, Max slides into the seat across from me, completing the square.

I give him an expectant look. “Well?”

He takes a bite of his baloney sandwich. “What?”

“What were you going to tell me this morning?”

“Oh, right!” he says, almost choking on his food. “This morning, I went to the bathroom, and—”

“Wait, was it in the boys’ bathroom that the prank happened?” says Dana, cutting him off.

“How’d you know about that?”

“That’s what the principal and Mrs. Jones were talking to us about in the auditorium this morning,” I say, popping a grape into my mouth. “Was it you?”

“No, but it happened to me.” Max’s eyes light up like they do when he gets really excited about something. “It was epic. I went to wash my hands, and when I turned the faucet on, someone had put red Kool-Aid in there.”

“Oh my gosh!” I say right as Dana makes vomiting sounds.

“Did you think it was real blood?” says Sierra.

“Yes! It was so funny. But there was another kid in there with a bit of a blood problem, and then he ruined it by throwing up on the floor and then a teacher came by and got mad.”

“Max, you are awful,” says Sierra.

“I can’t believe they had a whole meeting in the auditorium just because of some prank,” Max says. “It’s not that big of a deal, in my opinion.”

“They just don’t want kids getting out of hand,” I say. “Did they think it was you?”

“At first, but then I showed them my bloody hands and they knew I didn’t do that to myself,” says Max.

“Hmm,” says Dana. “Well, this is just another reason I need a cell phone. I can get informed of these kinds of things in advance.”

Max and I exchange a look of trying to hold in laughter. I take a sip of soup and Max looks the other way.

~~~

That afternoon, my little sister Fiona has a piano lesson, so it is just me and my cat Milo at home. I am trying a new recipe for brownies when the doorbell rings.

I run around the kitchen and open the door. “Hello?” I say, looking around. But there is nobody there.

Oh no. Did Mom tell me something about not opening the door if I don’t know who it is? Oh well. In a busy city like Seattle, things like this happen all the time. I go back to the oven and slide my tray of brownies in, then set the timer for twenty minutes. Wait. Is it twenty five minutes? Thirty minutes? My mom is at my sister’s piano lesson and my dad is working at the hospital; maybe I should call Max’s mother.

Right when I am dialing the number on the landline, the doorbell rings again. My hand freezes.

I look out the window, then open the door and peer out. Still, there is nobody there.

“Whoever’s there, don’t come back!” I shout, hoping I sound menacing. Milo gives me an unforgiving stare, hops off the couch, and trots upstairs. I shut the door and lock it, and then resume my brownie making.

Max’s mother doesn’t answer the phone, so I try calling my neighbor. Mrs. Jennings makes the best brownies in Washington. She says thirty minutes will be good, so I stick the tray in and set the timer. Right as I finish that, the doorbell rings again.

Instinctively, I grab my dough roller and creep up on the door. “I’m warning you, I’m armed!” I shout. What do they always do in the movies? Stop drop and roll? “I have a rifle in my hands right now!”

I unlock the door. Three, two, one! I fling the door open and scream “Ahhhh!” and brandish my dough roller right as none other than Max Wang shouts and jumps about ten feet into the air.

“Kitty!” he shouts right as I say, “Max?!”

“You scared the buns out of me, Kitty!” says Max, bending over to catch his breath. “Why did you shout that you had a rifle?”

“I was tired of being ding-dong ditched!” I say. “Why did you ring the doorbell three times, Max?”

“I didn’t!” he says. “This is the first time I’ve been to your house all day!”

“Wait, what?” I say, freezing. “Then who was pranking me?”

“It wasn’t me,” says Max, still slightly out of breath.

“Did you see anyone when you came?”

“No.”

I look behind Max into the bustling city streets. On the sidewalk, a babysitter is pushing a stroller and an old man is walking his dog. It could be anyone who knocked on my door. “My mom and sister are out, so I’m home alone,” I explain.

“Oh,” says Max. “Well, I just came over to ask about the math homework.”

“Why didn’t you just call?”

“Our phone is broken.”

“Oh.” Well, that would explain why Ms. Chao didn’t answer.

“You should invest in a security camera for your front door,” says Max as we walk back in. “Maybe it was just one of your neighbors’ kids.”

“Maybe,” I say, but I am still not convinced. Especially since we are only three days, six hours, and nineteen minutes away from Halloween.


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
38 Reviews

Points: 4161
Reviews: 38

Donate
Sun Jun 16, 2024 5:07 pm
Isbah wrote a review...



Hi!! I read the first chapter of this story to get context for this one, and it was really good. The cliffhanger it ended on was wonderful and both characters were realistic. This chapter also needed on a cliffhanger, and it makes me want to know who was pranking her :)
I have a few suggestions though. Firstly, don’t you think the second chapter should start where the first chapter ended? Because this causes a little confusion at the start and makes a reader wonder if Kitty knows what happened or she doesn’t. Second, I think you could add more suspense by showing the teachers telling the students about the prank and why it was wrong.
My favourite part of this chapter was the part where the bell rang and no one was there. But if she knows it was a prank because Halloween is just around the corner, it doesn’t make sense of her to be so scared. What if you mentioned her feeling stupid because she gets irrationally scared? And then she laughs at herself, maybe Max laughs at her too.
Overall, this was a good story and I’d like to see what happens next. Please keep writing!




User avatar
17 Reviews

Points: 1823
Reviews: 17

Donate
Tue Jun 04, 2024 5:39 am
View Likes
khushi17bansal wrote a review...



Hi!!

Dropping in for a quick review here! I want to start out by saying that I really enjoyed reading both installments of your story. I love the way everything slowly seems to be building up some sort of great problem or situation which I feel will happen during halloween. It's lovely foreshadowing.


There is just one thing I want to point out,

“How am I supposed to talk to people on the weekends?” she demands.

“I use the family landline,” I say.

“I can’t memorize people’s numbers,” Dana objects.

“Write it down on a piece of paper,” Sierra suggests.

“But nobody memorizes their family landline number,” Dana argues.


I'm a little confused about the timeline this story is taking place in. Now, I don't really know anything about the way things work in Seattle - so forgive me if this is just a misunderstanding caused by my lack of knowledge - but I feel like in the present day where smartphones are so common, nobody would really have a landline. Almost everyone has a smart phone these days, even students in Class Eight.

So, this entire conversation that takes place does make me wonder what time period this story takes place in. Making that clear - perhaps just a little mention of the date in the dialogue somewhere - will help.


Overall, I really enjoyed your story, You have characterised Kitty, Max and everyone else beautifully. The descriptions of the teachers and their conversations all add a lovely humorous touch to the story. I'm looking forward to reading the following chapters!

Everything expressed is my opinion, accept of reject whatever you want.

Take care!

--KB

Image




AmberMelanie says...


Hi! This story takes place in pretty much present day, approx. 2015 or so. My family used to have a "home phone" landline, and since they are in middle school I didn't want them to have cell phones yet, but I guess it's not as common anymore...thank you for pointing it out!
AmberMelanie



khushi17bansal says...


Ah I see, thanks for the clarification!




You can't fool me! I listen to public radio!
— Squidward Tentacles