You only fail when you stop trying

Hello again! Well, leaving a review on your last poem, I decided to explore more of your poetry! Wow, this poem was truly wonderful! I love the message so so much. Let's jump right into the review, shall we?

You tell such a great message here. You tell the story of a man who wants to give up every single time, but he still keeps on going and going and going. It seems that every time he grows more discouraged and weary in trouble. He finally gets to the point where he has no idea what to do next. Until finally, he accomplishes his task! But the old man who would be encouraging him the entire time was gone, but he hears a voice in his head, telling him that he has finally conquered. I love the message a lot. It reminds me a lot of that quote that goes something like"it's not the destination but the journey."

Sometimes we focus so much on just getting something done, that we don't realize that we are actually accomplishing it the entire time! You say this so well, and so simply. I found the ending to be bittersweet. I'm not sure if the old man died, or where he went, or if he was even real at all, but it's still very inspiring. I wonder what gave him so much courage the entire time. this poem almost feels like a parable that you would read in scripture. It is simple, but it gets right to the point, and teaches us a lesson. I love how symbolic the structure of this poem is too! We are literally seeing the story happen through the structure. We try over and over, and all of these different verses, wondering when it's going to end or if it's going to be a happy ending. Finally, just like the man who finally succeeded, we get to the end, realizing that we have had the strength to keep going the entire time.

One other thing that stood out to me, was the timeframe that you used. It seems that the time between the verses decreases every time, we start with things like decades, and we end with only a single day. This really shows the desperation this person was feeling, and the increasing hopelessness they had, becoming more reliant on someone else to encourage them to keep going. But maybe that encouragement is what made them get through it. I love this so much! Truly made my day a lot better.

I love your poetry always! I hope you have a fantastic day, and keep on writing!

Your friend,
Ellie

I really could identify with this. We try and fail but that is part of living. I still feel this way many times. Good insight. Very well thought out. It made me feel like I was right there experiencing these same feelings. I could feel the feeling that you were portraying.

This is amazing I love it so much it reminds me of how when I was younger I was learning to ride a bike I was so scared to fall but after years and years of practice and LOTS of patience then I finally did it
Thank you so much for making me smile and taking me back to that feeling
Again love this poem and I hope you keep writing!!

Sometimes the most simple of concepts can have the most brilliant of executions. That's the case here, and I think the reason why is the sheer relatability we can all share with this. Everyone has worked at something, felt a lack of progression, and then wanted to quit. Those goals can be grade related, work related, health/workout related. For many of us, writing related without a doubt. All things that tend to have long term rewards, but only if you stick with it.

And as for the old man, he's a message we've all heard, one that would help us if we listen to it. In this poem, it's an old man. For some, it's a supportive teacher or parent. For others, a passionate mentor, lover, or friend. More still, it doesn't even have to be someone external to us. It could just be that voice in your head that pops up every time you have major doubts, every time you're about to give up. The voice that asks you, "How will you handle the regret down the road if you do quit", and makes you sit and think on it.

Finally, the "You've conquered" line feels particularly compelling to me. After all that, after decades of trying, the success is the greatest feeling. And it wouldn't have felt so good, had the journey not been so taxing, proving that the journey itself was arguably as valuable as the conclusion.

Good work , I feel really well about what you've written here, it certainly speaks to me.