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The Mirror

by AmadeusW


Author's Note: This poem is based on a story of mine. Let me know what you think of it. I'm open to any and all kinds of feedback.

-

With every day that goes on by, I know not my face.

I know not of who I am or who I’m meant to be.

All I know of is my faith – or I should say...

The faith that I was taught to hold as mine.

But who am I? I want to know.

I want to know of what I’ve missed,

I want to know of what is real,

I want to know if love exists.

-

I hid my feelings from the world;

I’ve dreamt to speak my mind -

But all the world would take me down for what I feel,

For what I think that goes against their strictest ways.

I long to see my own reflection,

But will I ever find it?

There are no mirrors anymore

To tell me who I am.

-

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,

If only you could tell me.

Maybe God was right to take you

Out of sight and out of mind.

But I still want to know myself,

Even if the world goes mad.

And when I see who I am truly,

I will find I love myself.

-

One day came where I did find you,

Hidden deep in contraband,

And while the streets were lit with fire,

I found out who I was.

I found out why the war was fought,

And what my future held.

I found out what true love could mean,

That I could love myself.

-

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,

Your silver glass was but a door,

Where I could walk in another space

Where freedom was a holy law.

Give me one chance, keep me free,

I will fight for liberation.

Phantom songs play in my head,

And I will march with them.

-

I remember something dark,

Something I would like to know.

Something that my father built

To keep me under his dark spell.

I would like to tear apart that veil

From my eyes and the eyes of my good people.

Show me who I am this day,

For even me reflected doesn’t show my destiny.

-

I must challenge all these lies,

I must bring back all the balance,

I must find a way to save them all,

For if they stand without me there,

They might crumble to the ground

Like a mountain being swept away

By the river that creates a flood

Of truth, no less, for that they hoped for.

-

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,

After all these months of conflict,

I have found no way to save them.

When the mirror faces a mirror,

The world becomes more infinite,

And now my father’s taken evil

To a place where I won’t find him,

And now I feel like we will never win.

-

Now the moment comes to bear its fruit,

And we must decide how to move on forward.

The universe is still divided -

And now the silver glass is cracked.

How do we save the other side?

How do we find ourselves if there is no self to find?

At least I have found myself in the midst of war and strife,

And I have love, and I have wisdom – despite all that I’ve lost.

-

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,

You fell to the ground and you were shattered,

And now there seems no hope for what remains,

But we, dear people, lost in a shallow way,

Must all take comfort in our lack of peace.

But as the war of freedom still continues,

Myself and I now know ourselves,

And we, with truth, can save our world.


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User avatar
7 Reviews


Points: 8
Reviews: 7

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Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:56 am
zeldalex wrote a review...



Hello!

First off, there's a certain rhythm to this poem that I truly admire. I can't quite place my finger on it, but I really wanted to read this aloud and hear what it sounded like. I particularly enjoyed the fifth stanza ("Your silver glass" to "I will march with them") and the final one: I also enjoy how the connect to each other. My only true criticism is that the first two stanzas don't feel quite as strong as the rest of the poem, but they're still good. With a little bit of tweaking (maybe bringing in some more of the ideas expressed in the latter half of the poem) I'm sure that they could be just as powerful as the rest.

Thank you very much!




AmadeusW says...


Thank you for your review!



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61 Reviews


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Reviews: 61

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Fri Feb 22, 2019 4:27 am
OofOof1 says...



I feel like every line is better then the last one, and I think that is just how your describing it and putting it to gather, and that happens with everyone, so I must say your doing a really good job, I am getting a lot of imagery in my head winch is a big think with writing I feel.




AmadeusW says...


Good job copying and pasting what EagleFly said! It takes a lot of skill to copy and paste something lol



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207 Reviews


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Mon Feb 18, 2019 11:49 pm
Dossereana wrote a review...



Hi @AmadeusW I am here to do a review on your poem. o and thanks for the Author's Note.

What I like about it

The faith that I was taught to hold as mine.

okay I think this is me all over, I am not shore why but it sounds like me, so reel, nice job.

I want to know of what I’ve missed,

I want to know of what is real,

this is me again, I feel this is defiantly Realistic in stead of romance, but that's okay anyways, I love these two lines.

What is really good

I feel like every line is better then the last one, and I think that is just how your describing it and putting it to gather, and that happens with everyone, so I must say your doing a really good job, I am getting a lot of imagery in my head winch is a big think with writing I feel.

What needs work

With every day that goes on by, I know not my face.

Okay so I was not really shore about this line, so I thought and now I think I no what the problem is here, I will put this in suggestions and what I change will be in bold for you to see.

Suggestions

With every day that goes past, I know not my face.

Okay so that is all that I can say about this even though it was so long, I just think that you did a grate job of this like really, if I came across as being really harsh and just unfair I am so sorry pleas for give me, So keep up the grate poem writing, I think you did a grate job here, I am looking forward to reading more of your poems, and works if you have any.

@EagleFly out to Seek and Kill





“Though lovers be lost, love shall not; And death shall have no dominion.”
— Dylan Thomas