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Fate is a Marxist idea?

by AmadeusW

Please don't overestimate the power of Fate;

To think that choice is irrelevant is totally fake;

That Marxist idea will only mess with your mental state;

Your life is yours alone, not open for the take.

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562 Reviews

Points: 14535
Reviews: 562

Sat Jul 13, 2019 10:36 am
FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...

Hello, FlamingPhoenix here with a review for you on this lovely night, and to help get your wonderful work out the green room.

Okay let's start.

So my I say I loved the title you have picked out, it was rather eye catching, I was looking for a poem to review and then this one got my eye, and I new I had to come and review it, and I'm really glad I did.
I just love everything about this poem, it may be short, but it does tell quite an important story, and the words you used express all the emotions one is looking for in a poem. And that is another thing that made it so wonderful.
I like it that you don't used most of the words over and over again, almost every sentence has knew words in it, I'm also loving the riming you have going here, it's really good, and something I have trouble doing, so it was really cool seeing someone else do it so wonderfully.

I have nothing against this poem, the punctuation was put in all the right places, making the flow really good, and allowing an easy read. I'm glad I got to read this work and be the second one to review it. I hope you will keep writing and have a great day or night.

Your friend
Reviewing with a fiery passion!

AmadeusW says...

Thanks for the review!

Your welcome!

User avatar
17 Reviews

Points: 84
Reviews: 17

Fri Jul 12, 2019 7:16 pm
salia4 wrote a review...

I love this poem as it is extremely relevant and does explain the idealology of many people, however, if I am being totally honest, the fact that you used a rhyme scheme kinda degrades the point you're trying to make, as rhyme is oftentimes used for more lighthearted poems, those with happier themes, rather than those meant to provoke deep thought.

I do love this poem, so much, and relate a lot, it's just that small detail, however, I have seen it applied effectively, and for the most part, you did, it was the phrase "will only mess with your mental state" that I felt the tone you had created was lost.

Keep writing, I loved this piece and can't wait for your future works!

AmadeusW says...

Thanks for the review!

“Sorry about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine. I couldn't get the boy to kill me, but I wore his jacket for the longest time.”
— Richard Siken