z

Young Writers Society



Silence of Assassins PART ONE

by Amabilia


The silence woke her.

Not the silence by itself, but rather the absence of noise.

Pilo had lived in the city her whole life, and yet she had never known it to be this quiet. It was only two in the morning, but there was none of the usual honking, no sirens wailing. Nothing. She listened to the eerie quiet for a few moments, then got out of bed and went to her dad’s room.

“Dad?”

He didn’t move, save for breathing. She moved over to him, growing nervous. “Dad! Wake up!” she said, louder this time. Pilo shook him. He didn’t stir. She started shivering. He wasn’t waking up. She gave up after several long moments, and watched his steady breath. His chest steadily moved up and down.

Eventually she got up and moved to the window. What she saw there shocked her. People were still in their unmoving cars. Fast asleep. There were even some people, at this unearthly hour, curled up on the sidewalk.

Suddenly, a scream pierced the serene silence. Pilo rushed out of her small New York apartment and ran towards the constant scream. She smelled the smoke before I saw it. A huge crash had resulted from the drivers falling asleep, though most of the cars had been stopped.

“Someone help me!” a scream came from one of the overturned cars.

“Don’t worry! I’ll get you out!” Pilo reassured whoever was in the car. She climbed in between and around cars until she saw broken glass. One of the windows in a car had been broken. A hand was reaching through the small, sharp opening.

“Oh my gosh. What do I do?” Pilo panicked.

“Find something to break the rest of the window with!” the voice persisted. Pilo picked up a nearby stone.

“Get as far away from the window as you can,” she advised as she started to smash the remaining window and get rid of the sharp shards around the edges. A boy about her age climbed out of the car and looked around.

“What happened here?” he asked.

“I don’t know. My dad wouldn’t wake up. Neither did any of them,” she referred to the sleeping figures on the sidewalks and in the cars.

“No. Not them. How are you awake?”

“I... I don’t know. That never crossed my mind,” she said.

“I might know.”

“What? How? What’s going on? Do you know how this happened?” Pilo exploded.

“Hold on!” the boy interrupted her, “First, you should know my name is Ryan Eldridge. My dad is Harry Eldridge, the owner of Eldridge Science. He was working on a sleeping thing a while ago. He probably mass produced it. If we can get up to Ontario, that’s where he has his main headquarters. There might be an antidote.”

“Then let’s go!” Pilo pushed him.

“Wait. Unless you know how to drive, this is going to be a long trip. We have to go raid a grocery store,” Ryan stated.

“What?” asked Pilo shocked. She had never been one to steal, or break rules even.

“We have to get food,” Ryan repeated slowly, as if talking to an idiot.

“No!” Pilo said, “We’re not stealing.”

“What do you suggest then?” Ryan was clearly annoyed.

“How about we leave the money on the counter for someone to find?”

“Where are we going to find money?”

“My dad keeps extra cash in a book. There should be close to three hundred dollars in there. By the way, my name is Piloqutinnguaq, but you can call me Pilo,” Pilo said.

“Quite the name. Alright, lead the way,” he gave in. Pilo walked them up to her apartment and went inside.

“You grab some bags and stuff to put the food in. Don’t forget some blankets and clothes,” she told him. Pilo entered the room and paused when she saw her dad, resting peacefully. She headed over to his book shelf and grabbed out Hard Times by Charles Dickens. Her dad loved literature. Pilo shuffled through the pages, grabbing money when she found it.

“Hey, do you guys have a can opener?” Ryan called from the kitchen.

“Yeah, third drawer from the dishwasher,” Pilo called back. She heard clanking as she counted up the money. Pilo walked into the kitchen and said, “Hey, we have $328. How are you doing with the packing?”

“Pretty much done. I’m packing up some canned food and a lighter too. Should we bring a pot too?”

“Yeah. But one of the small ones. Is it going to be too heavy?” Pilo considered.

“We should be fine, When we get to where there aren’t as many people we could hijack a car and see if that works.”

“Okay. There’s a cheap canned goods store down the road, they should have some bread and meat too,” That’s when Pilo looked at Gary, her goldfish. He was swimming. She stepped closer.

“Before you even think about it, we are not bringing a goldfish,” Ryan said.

“That’s not what I’m thinking. He should be asleep, shouldn’t he? Everyone else is,” Pilo told him.

“What are you trying to say?” Ryan asked her.

“What if the thing your dad invented doesn’t work on animals? It could be days before we find the antidote and figure out how to use it. What will happen to all the animals? They’ll starve!”

“Oh. Well that does add a time limit. We’ll just have to hurry,” Ryan told her. The sun was starting to rise. “Come on. We should get going.” He moved towards the door. Pilo spared one last look at Gary, then she followed him into the hall.

***

Something was happening. Pilo could feel it. Her blood felt drawn in a certain direction. She sat down on a rock, exhausted. The sun had already set and they weren’t much closer to Ontario. After Ryan and her had left the city, there weren’t any cars around. It was unlikely that there would have been a car driving around the country at two in the morning, even in New York. Pilo’s stomach rumbled.

“Ryan? Can we stop for dinner?”

“Fine. But we still have to get to our first checkpoint by midnight,” he sat down. They had split the journey up into checkpoints, one for each of the three days they had. It would’ve been easier if they had found a car, but they didn’t have any luck there.

“What time is it?” Pilo asked as she started a fire.

“Eight thirty. We’ve been walking for fifteen hours.”

Pilo yawned. “We only have two miles left until the checkpoint, why can’t we just sleep here?”

“We have to keep going.”

Pilo saw something in the brush behind him. Suddenly the world flicked blue. She looked at the sky and could see the wind moving, faster than any cloud. She looked around and saw details she would never have noticed. There were ants crawling all over the ground where Ryan was sitting. She focused back on behind him. There was a person there. Sitting watching her.

“Pilo? Are you okay?” Ryan asked, glancing up at her. Her vision returned to normal.

“Ryan. There’s someone in the bushes behind you,” she said quietly.

“What?” he turned around to look at the bushes. There was no one visible anymore, but Pilo could swear the person hadn’t moved. “There’s no one there. You need sleep. I’ll set up your bed for you.”

“Ryan.”

“Hm?”

“I-Something happened.”

“What’s that?” he asked, clearly not paying attention as he unrolled the blankets.

“The world, it wa-” she was cut off as a boy came running out of the bushes. He tackled Ryan, and they started hitting each other. Pilo ran over to them and tried to pull the boy away. He turned and grabbed her long, auburn hair. The mystery boy yanked her towards the ground and smacked her head on a rock. Pilo’s last sight before her green eyes closed was of Ryan being punched in the head.

***

It was light again when Pilo woke up. She tried to wipe the hair out of her eyes, but discovered that her hands were immobile. A pain in her wrists told her that they were tied together. Pilo struggled into an upright position and leaned against a tree near her. Looking around, she noticed that Ryan was also bound, but was still unconscious. The mysterious boy was staring at her from atop a fallen log. His gray, rainy eyes stared at her, unwavering.

“Who are you?” she asked, piercing the eerie silence.

“I think I should be asking you that,” he replied, feigning an icy tone.

“Why did you attack us? We could have just talked!” she exclaimed.

“He,” the boy motioned towards Ryan’s form, “isn’t worth talking to.”

“What? Do you know him?”

“He is your enemy,” he looked her dead in the eyes. “Never trust him and his kind.”

“Right now I’m way closer to trusting him than you,” Pilo glared at him. The boy just sighed and walked over to her. He crouched down and looked into her eyes.

“I’m willing to untie you, but you have to cooperate.”

“Fine,” she said, and moved so he could reach her hands. Pilo had to admit, he was kinda cute. The way his dark brown hair matched his dark eyes. He was wearing a dark hoodie and jeans.

“Who are you?” Pilo asked again.

“My name is Leon. And you are?”

“Piloqutinnguaq Breda,” she responded.

“I’m not even going to try to pronounce that. Native American?” he asked.

Pilo nodded, “And Italian. Call me Pilo.”

“How did you see me last night?”

“Getting chummy now, are we?” she said sarcastically.

“I need to know. Please. Was the world blue? What color was he?” Leon motioned to Ryan.

“Okay, first off, his name is Ryan. And why do you need to know?” Pilo stood up and put some packaged bacon in a small pot on the fire.

“You might be in danger,” was his simple response.

“How so?”

“Just tell me what you saw,” he said, his tone irritated.

Pilo sighed, “It- everything was blue, yes. I looked up and it was like I was seeing the wind. I could see everything that moved. I saw you in a bunch of white grass. You were blue, like everything else.”

“What color was Ryan?”

“He was... it was strange. He was the only thing that was red,” she said thoughtfully.

“You’ve done it then,” Leon looked at her.

“What did I do?” she turned from the fire and looked back at him.

“You accessed Eagle Vision.”

***

“Should we really be trusting him?”

“I’m sure that the Eagle Vision was wrong about Ryan, Leo,” Pilo had taken to calling him that, “I would trust him with my life.”

“Yes, but would you trust him with mine? Because that’s what you’re doing.”

It was the last day of their journey. They were a mile outside Ontario, and Leon still didn’t trust Ryan.

“I don’t like the way his eyes look. They have an evil gleam to them,” he mumbled.

“Seriously? What are you, twelve?” she said sarcastically.

“Look. I’m just worried about you. I don’t want to walk into a trap,” there was worry in Leon’s voice, but there was something else there too. Longing? Sadness? Pilo couldn’t figure it out.

“Here we are!” Ryan announced proudly from up ahead.

“Great! Where’s your dad’’s lab?” Pilo called as she ran to catch up. She didn’t notice that Leon had pulled an arrow out of his quiver and strung it.

“It’s up here,” he said. Leon caught up with them and they walked up to a building and tried the doors.

“Dang it. They’re locked,” Ryan said.

Why is he so cute when he’s disappointed? Pilo had become attracted to him over their trip. Despite his hotheadedness, he was sensitive.

“Pilo?” Leo’s voice brought her back into the moment.

“Yeah?”

“Could you get the door for us?” Ryan asked, slightly annoyed.

“Oh, yeah. Sure,” she pulled out some tools she had brought from her house and pushed them into the lock. She started twisting the first one. It took about a minute before they heard a click. Pilo held the first tool in place and started twisting the second one. This time the click was inaudible, but Pilo felt it. She jimmied the tools until the lock turned and the doors opened.

“Amazing,” Ryan said. Pilo beamed, glad that she had impressed him. Leo just scoffed.

“Let’s go,” he said as he entered the huge building.

“Okay. I think the lab they were working in is on the second floor,” Ryan said.

“You think?” Leo asked.

“Yeah. I mean, I’ve never been in there,” Ryan shrugged.

“What?” Leon yelled, “We’ve just walked halfway across New York in three days based on an, ‘I think’? Do you even know how to wake everyone up?”

“I-I might,” Ryan was strong, but he knew when to pick his fights.

“Stop it you two!” Pilo ripped them apart, “All of New York is depending on us! Ryan, you should have told us earlier on that you didn’t know exactly what you were doing, and Leo, he is our only chance. So suck it up and find the lab.”

Ryan grumbled and started walking for the stairs. Leon looked down and started following him, ashamed of how he acted. Pilo just huffed and looked at them in disgust.

“Lives are depending on us,” she murmured to herself. “And we’re fighting over things like this.”

They finally found the room at the back of the second floor. They went in the room which was, surprisingly, unlocked. It was as if they had gone into a cliche sci-fi movie. There were stainless steel counter tops and vials filled with strange liquid. Pilo shivered.

“Let’s just get what we need and leave, okay?” Pilo said. A piece of paper caught her attention. It was a list of names. Samuel Allums, June Ambri... the list went on. Suddenly two names caught her attention. Charles Breda, Piloqutinnguaq Breda.

“Ryan... Why are my dad and my names on this list?” Ryan lunged over and grabbed the paper out of her hands.

“That’s uh, not your names. They’re just similar,” he said nervously.

“Let me see that,” Leon grabbed the paper from him and read down the list, despite Ryan’s objections. Ryan finally grabbed the list from him.

“Ryan. Why is my name on this list too?” Leo said, eerily calmly.

“I- I don’t know! My dad never told me anything of his work!” Ryan babbled. Leo lunged towards him.

The world flicked blue again. Pilo had entered eagle vision. She saw Leo, who was blue, and Ryan, who was red, fighting. Suddenly another color entered her vision. Gold. Leon had told her that gold was a target. Pilo walked over to the gold item and saw that it was another list. It had the same names on it. She quickly stashed it in her pocket, but not before she saw something else.

A red figure was hiding inside a closet. Somehow she had seen through the door. The world dulled then appeared again in normal colors. Pilo walked over to the closet and put her hand on the knob. She twisted it slowly as to not alert the person inside. Pilo swung the door open and a figure sprang out at her.

“Dad!” Ryan yelled.

“Get off me!” Pilo said.

“Ryan! I told you to take care of them!” Ryan’s father, Mr. Eldridge, shouted at his son. Ryan winced.

“There were two of them! And they found the list you left out!” Ryan was still fighting Leo. Pilo struggled against Ryan’s dad, but he pinned her down. Leo jumped on Ryan, pushing him on the ground. A blade appeared by his wrist and he held it against Ryan’s neck. Ryan held still.

“Give me the girl, and your son lives,” he said gravely to Mr. Eldridge.

“You think I care about him?” the man scoffed, “I only sent him after you because there was more of a chance you’d trust him over me.”

“How could you do this to us?” Pilo screamed at Ryan, enraged that she had ever liked him.

“Well then, you can't exactly blame me can you? It was your mistake,” Ryan defended himself. Leo smacked him on the head and he fell to the floor, unconscious.

“Give me the girl,” Leon seethed. He started walking towards them but stopped when Mr. Eldridge pulled out a knife.

“If you come any closer she dies,” he warned.

“Why do you even need her dead? She doesn’t know about the creed or the order,” Leon said. He started inching forwards, unnoticed by Mr. Eldridge.

“She may not, but she is one of you! And I am certain you told her about the ‘special abilities’ she has.”

“What is going on? What’s the creed?” Pilo asked, bewildered. Leon just sighed and ignored her.

“Yes, she knows of Eagle Vision, but she has just discovered it and does not know the depth of its abilities,” Leon continued urging forward.

“How did she see me through the door then? She must have discovered it. Now back away, Assassin!”

“No. You- I heard my father say that word..,” Pilo trailed off in even more confusion. She had stopped struggling at this point. Suddenly Ryan stood up behind Leo. He’s going to kill him! Pilo realized.

“Leo, Ryan!” she exclaimed. Leon turned around right as Ryan lunged at him. The metallic sound of a dagger being unsheathed pierced the air. A moment later, Ryan was on the ground, clutching his stomach. Pilo watched it in stunned silence. Leo turned to Mr. Eldridge.

“Give me Pilo or die,” he said, anger written across his face. Mr. Eldridge moved the knife closer the Pilo’s neck.

“I’d rather die killing two Assassins than die from any other cause,” a crazy glimmer was in Mr. Eldridge’s eyes. Leo brought has fingers up to his mouth and a screeching whistle pierced the air. Footsteps were heard approaching. The lab door burst open and people holding weapons entered the room. Archers pointed their bows at Mr. Eldridge.

“Your death will be sooner than hers,” Leon stated. “Drop the dagger and let her go.”

Mr. Eldridge screamed and raised the knife preparing to bring it down upon Pilo. Suddenly, time slowed. Pilo moved, but it felt like she was swimming through syrup. She grabbed the sword from a nearby person and shoved it into Mr. Eldridge’s chest before the knife was even halfway down. Mr. Eldridge fell ontop of her, his lifeless eyes open. Pilo felt weak. She had taken a man’s life.

The body was taken off of Pilo and she was lifted onto her feet. Everything was still in slow motion. People were moving, their voices distant. Arms wrapped around her and pulled her close. She looked up and saw the sullen face of Leon. She buried her face in his chest and let the tears flow.

“Leon, I-I-,” Pilo stammered

“I know,” Leon said, “I wish this never had to happen. You haven’t had the proper training.”

“Training for what?” Pilo said in her tears.

“The ways of The Creed.”

***

“Dad?” Pilo called. After the Assassins had woken everyone up, they had given Leon and Pilo ride back to her apartment. On the way, Leon had explained all about how the Assassins are trying to stop the templars from taking over the world and enslaving humanity. The Creed and the Order are referring to the Assassin’s Creed and the Order of Templars. There are two main pieces of eden. The apple of eden controls humans and the staff of eden changes what they think. The Creed is formed by your bloodline, whereas the Order is made of people who choose to join.

“Pilo? Where have you been?” her father came running in the room and picked her up. Pilo tried her best to smile, but the death of Mr. Eldridge still weighed on her. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“Dad, this is Leon,” she introduced Leo. Her father reached out and shook his hand.

“Alright, now mind telling me what happened?” her father said, slightly irritated. Pilo took a deep breath and started the story. She talked about how she had met Ryan in the car crash, how they went on the trip to Ontario, how they met Leon, and how Pilo accessed Eagle Vision. Leon looked like he wanted to stop Pilo from telling so much, but she just ignored him. Her father looked grave by the time she finished.

“I knew something like this would happen. Pilo, you have to know something. About your mother,” he said to her. Pilo gasped. He never talked about mother. She had died when Pilo was only two and Pilo had always ached for information about her death and what she was like.

“You know that she died when you were two,” he walked them into the small living room and they sat down, “But I always kept from you how.” He sighed. “Your mother was an Assassin.”

“What?” Pilo had known one of her parent had to be one because of her blood, but she still hadn’t been prepared.

“She was killed by a templar named Samantha Lee,” he stated.

“I know who that is,” Leon put in.

“Good,” he nodded to Leo, then turned back to Pilo. “Your mother loved you more than anything. She died protecting you.”

“We should go train,” Leo said to Pilo. Her father looked dead into his daughter’s eyes.

“There’s something you must always remember,” he paused, “Nothing is true, everything is permitted.”


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91 Reviews


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Thu Dec 29, 2016 11:27 pm
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FireBird99 wrote a review...



Hello, FireBird99 here for a review. I wish you a Happy Review Day and a late Merry Christmas!

I have watched my brothers play Assassin's Creed occasionally, but I myself haven't. This short story was interesting, but I find there are a lot of questions unanswered. Why is everyone asleep? Why isn't she and the boy under this sleepy 'spell'? Who is the boy? Perhaps you can embellish your short story and answer these questions. Your story surely would improve by far!

Not only his but I find the ending was abrupt and doesn't finish the story. Nevertheless, your writing is well written and you have a neat style. Great work on your dialogue and descriptions.Just a little work and you'll be a Best Times author in no time. ;)

Just a little nitpick:

She smelled the smoke before I saw it.


Here you switched person.

Other than that you did well! Great work and keep it up!

~Fire




Amabilia says...


Thank you so much for the review, and about play Assassin's Creed, you should. It totally destroyed my life lol. I continued the story, because I hadn't quite finished it when I first posted it, and I explained why everyone was asleep. Ryan's father mass produced a sleep drug that made everyone except those under the assassin bloodline fall under the "spell." The fact that I hadn't quite finished yet is the main answer for all of your suggestions, except for the quick nitpick. Thank you so much for that, as I wouldn't have noticed it.;) Thank you also for the complements, and I really do hope I get published someday, though I am a far ways from it.
Thank you and keep writing,
Dream



FireBird99 says...


Sounds like a story with much potential! Good luck. ;)



Amabilia says...


Thank you!



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Wed Dec 21, 2016 3:06 am
Apricity wrote a review...



Hello, you who dream eternally. Apricity here for a review.

You have a good premise here, if not slightly vague, you ended on a cliffhanger which leaves me wanting more. Let's just start from the beginning and work our way down. Your start is good, but given your second paragraph the first one becomes redundant. Not only so, 'the absence of noise' is a much better descriptor than 'silence'. I say nix the first paragraph and just start your story with the second one. Better, and more powerful.

Keep in mind that everyone has their own style, whatever advice I give you will be tainted by how I write so if you see something that just doesn't sit right with you, ignore it. Is spending a whole paragraph depicting Claire waking up her dad worth it, at the end of the day what you wanted to say was. Although he was breathing (though Claire seemed to show no sign of relief that his dad was alive, just not moving given the nervousness we saw her earlier) he was not moving, you could combined that with the next paragraph where you describe her looking out onto the street and seeing everything was frozen in time.

Also, you describe the same silence using two different, contradictory adjectives. 'eerie' and 'serene', be consistent, what atmosphere are you trying to achieve here? The sequencing of the car crashing seems...slightly illogical though. If someone were involved in a car crash, it's likely they won't be continuously screaming since that requires far too much effort and energy. What's more likely is that, they will be calling for help. So instead running to a continued scream, perhaps intermittent 'help me's would be more logical?

“Oh my gosh. What do I do?” Claire panicked.
A previous reviewer has touched on this, I'm going to touch on a different point. Instead of saying she 'panicked'. In which, panicked as a verb acts as the conclusion to whatever internal feelings that Claire felt. Instead of saying panicked, tell me physical, concrete details instead. Perhaps something along the lines of, 'her mind buzzed', 'her heart raced', ok maybe not something as cliche as that. But try and allow the readers to reach that panic by themselves, you as the author want to establish as many sign post along the way as possible to make sure they understand that sense of panic.

On top of that, an expansion allows for a deeper insight into how Claire's mind works when she approaches a problem like this.

“Get as far away from the window as you can,” she advised
In situation like this, just nix the 'she advised'. Her dialogue alone is enough to show it, no need to state it twice.

...is the boy totally unhurt? I mean he was just involved in a car crash and it is possible that he escaped without a scratch but, he doesn't even seem to be shaken or shocked here. Most people who have been involved in a car accident, would be in more or less some degree of shock. If this isn't the case for your character, I say provide some more details into his mindset post- carcrash. Whether he's feeling fine, relaxed, or shocked and confused. After an event such as this, simply walking out seems dismissive. On top of that, characterisation. How he reacts to this scene will allow the reader to gauge him as a character better, if he's not shocked we know that he's not fazed in the face of adversity, that or perhaps he expected this, he might have been car crashes before and etc.

Hm, I have mixed feelings about the ending. I feel like instead of an ending, it looks more like a conversation cut in half. Which is why, I suppose it's dangerous to end up with dialogue. Perhaps attach some sort of final sentiment to how she feels about all of this? Is she confused, worried etc.

Reedit this, and I think you will have a good basis for a good story. Let me know if you have any questions. :)

-Apricity




Amabilia says...


Thank you for your review. I just wanted to let you know that I didn't want to end it where I did, but I was stuck, so I posted it here for help. That's why it ended so abruptly.



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Wed Dec 21, 2016 12:18 am
writer1204 wrote a review...



Oh my, but you simply cannot leave something like that!! I wanna know more!

Well, first off, I guess I should say hello, so hi! Writer1204 here for a cheeky review.
I mean, I don't have any complaints at all rather than the fact that I was left hanging from an enormous cliff. Personally, I still haven played Assassin's Creed, but now you've got me fairly intrigued. Please do let me know if you continue doing thing, because I really want to read whatever you're crafting next.

I would recommend, however, if you're looking for quite the neat-pick feedback, that you take your time. It's not like it was rushed or anything, but describe the overall setting. I don't know, I like it when I feel submerged in the book/story.

Oh, and here's something I noticed:

"She moved over to him, growing nervous. “Dad! Wake up!” she said, louder this time. Claire shook him."

Now, this isn't wrong. It's actually perfectly fine, BUT I don't think the "she said, louder this time" part is completely necessary considering the fact that you have exclamation points right after her words.
Again, don't mind me. What do I know?

Apart from that, you gave me a good quality piece of work, and I have absolutely no complaints. I did mean it, by the way. If you publish part two or a continuance, do let me know and I'll gladly read it!

Have a good day/night! :)
Cheers!

Sincerely, Writer1204.




Amabilia says...


Thank you for writing a review for me! I was actually surprised when you said that I took my time, as I usually rush. I think Im just going to add onto this post, so Ill tag tou when I do.




Ogres are like onions.
— Shrek