Published February 21, 2011
Oh small child of mine do you hear,
The old stories of that one musketeer?
How he fought and battled his way in war.
And how the tales he told were never a bore.
He caught a bull with his bare hands.
And how people would always do his commands.
His fame and glory made him blunt,
his answer to anything was a small grunt.
The people all got tired of the air head banshee,
So they took him up, and threw him in the sea.
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140,627 Literary Works • 673,569 Reviews
helloo!!
I like this poem! Love the story in it!
nice rhyme!!
-qaralynn-
Hello!
I'd say this is pretty good for not being a poetry person. I loved the story; it was a very creative idea. You did very well on rhyming and fluency, also.
However, the rhyme is a little forced in some places, such as "bore" and "commands", which are not bad forces, but are still not quite right.
Also, the third line in the above quote doesn't settle right in the midst of all the "How he"'s at the beginnings of lines.
I though you said he used to tell really good stories??
Anyways, I think you could tweak the beginnings and ends of some lines, but the base of the poem is not bad at all!
-Lili