The Station

 

A station. Bustling with activity. People running from one train to another, seldom having time to stop or rest. Never seeing the people around them. All are headed towards their own destination. Home, work, vacation. Only a few of them don't know where they're headed, even fewer have no intention of traveling at all.

A woman with a crying little girl on one arm, dragging her luggage with the other, hurrying by. Her phone is ringing, but since she doesn't have the time to stop she can't answer it. It's nothing important, at least not his time. Her little girl drops her doll and cries even louder, but no one listens.

The doll remains where it is, until a man picks it up much later that night. The few travelers that are still there avert their eyes from him. His clothes are in rags, his face and hands are filthy. He is homeless. After sitting down on a bench he looks at the doll, past memories surfacing in his eyes. No one cares.

In the morning that same spot is occupied by an old gentleman. He's wearing a suit and polished leather shoes. A fragrant bouquet of red roses is laying beside him. Every now and then he looks up to check the big digital clock hanging from the ceiling. After a quick phone call he gets up and walks toward the sixth terminal. After ten minutes he comes back, accompanied by a young man and woman. She is now holding the flowers, and the gentleman's pulling her luggage. The old man and the young woman have the same green eyes. The old mans expression soon turns from proud to truly happy as she lays a hand on her stomach and tells him news that she never thought she could give.

A lone rose petal is stepped on by an oddly dressed young man. His face is mostly hidden behind his black fringe, and the little sliver of skin that is shown is covered with metal rings and bars. He wears nothing but black. A small backpack is casually hanging from his shoulder. The young man is in no hurry. He looks up at the departure board, carefully choosing his destination. On his way to the terminal he drops his wallet. A kind lady picks it up and hands it to him. There are no pictures in it. Nothing whatsoever to remind him of his past.

The old lady sits down on a bench, not far from where the homeless man and the old gentleman sat earlier. In her little bag she has a sandwich, which she eats while waiting for her train. She keeps an almost constant eye on the people that rushes by. At her old age it must seem amusing. She used to be like that once, when she was younger and had a lot to do. When a man asks her for directions, she kindly gives them. He's about to leave, when she tells him that he looks like her late husband. The man nods and then excuses himself. He does not have time to talk to an old lady, even if she is a kind one. Ten minutes later the old lady walks to her terminal, noting on the way that she has some cat fur stuck on her cardigan.

Every person that hurries past have a history, a present and a future. Seeing everyone around you is impossible, but noticing a few makes life far more interesting.

Comments & reviews · 4
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cj2344
Review
cj2344 wrote a review · Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:03 pm

This story, from the very beginning, captivated me. I loved this story because not only does every single one of us have a story, but none of us REALLY think about other people's histories when we catch a moment's glance at them. The descriptions of the people are well written, yet I feel that the actual station was never described quite as well. This might be on purpose, which I understand because the story is supposed to be about the people in the station, but it definitely puts up a wall between the reader and the scene. Overall, well written story, awesome concept, and next time I'm in a busy place I'll be thinking about people's stories.

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BlackAmethyst Review

Oh wow, what a nice short story!

I agree with Skyy in that there were little inputs that I wasn't expecting. But I really liked them. I also liked how you used the littles things to connect each person to one another. The homeless man did strike me as somewhat strange when he sat down and cried, but I liked the old woman however, because she was portrayed beautifully.

Your writing style balances out imagery and thoughts beautifully, and I really liked your story.

Keep up the good work!

User avatar
Skyy
Review
Skyy wrote a review · Sun Dec 16, 2012 11:24 am

This is quite a different and unique way of writing. The way things are randomized is quite a weird thing to read, things that you wouldn't expect.
"She has some cat fir stuck in her cardigan.", "A lone rose petal is stepped on", "Her little girl drops her doll."

Also the way that you link all the individual characters back to one place in the station is quite clever. It helps remind you of all the different things that have occurred, and how everything can be linked through on way or another.

The hectic-ness of the scene is portrayed quite well. When you describe the woman, it really portrays the bustling atmosphere of the station, and that no one has no time for anything.

I personally think that some of it is twee, such as when the homeless man cries about the doll, reminding him of a past life.
And I'm not sure about the "From one train to the other", would it not be perhaps "From one train to another?" That would make more sense to me.

But otherwise a nice piece of writing :)

Thanks for the advise. I've changed a bit :)



i understand why roosters scream in the morning
— SpunkyMonkey