An Insight Into A Teenager's Mind

Wow, I can relate to almost ever line of this. Especially the parts refering to be a sore loser because I can't stand being wrong! this was a good insight, but I think a little to basic. Maybe you could write another one to go with it that goes deeper into the heart and soul of some teenagers because we certainly aren't all we appear to be.

i really like this! the flow was nice, and it made a lot of sense. its really relatable. (:
keep it up!

-rayne

Thanks a lot!
I am a teenager, being fifteen;
I'll tell you what people think about being a teen

You always think you're right, and when you get it wrong;
You blame it on the person who knew it all along

You boast about all the different things that you can do;
You sulk around for months if someone does it better than you

You never seem to care about what happens in the world;
You won't even want to know how to turn lead to gold

You'll always act as if you are the leader of the kingdom;
I think you'd guess we'd chose wealth over wisdom

Yes, as a teenager my mind might seem like a shallow pool;
But in fact I only need your strength and support to make it rule

There's more in a teen's mind than what you might have known;
We all have a desire to make Earth a better home

In every teen's heart there's an urge to face the world together;
Most acknowledge the fact early and embrace the truth forever

Yes, I am a teenager, I believe there will be a time;
Where teens will be looked up to for having such great minds.
---

Great poem i really liked it

You blame it on the person who knew all along

Yes, as a teenager my mind might seem like a shallow pool;
But in fact I only need your strength and support to make it rule

Yes, I am a teenager, I believe there will be a time;
Where teens will be looked up to for having such great minds.

But in fact I only need your strength and support to make it rule

Thanks, all of you, this is actually my first poem that isn't written for a song!
Thanks for your support!
Maisoon
P.S. I think you'll see some improvement in my future works {inshallah}- yeah, I'm a Muslim. But that doesn't mean I'm a terrorist.

Hey!
I loved this poem. It's good not to read a depressing/sad poem once in a while. Keep Writing!

I see what you mean when you say the rhythm is not very strong, but I see the insight and potential of this poem. It seems a bit informal to be though with a lot of you's and other words that could be cut out. I am sorry I cannot be more specific, but I if I were you I would re-read this poem aloud and see if it flows. Some words in here can be changed or placed in another sequence. Overall it is a good poem, but if you read it aloud you will see the few mistakes which take away its power. Then it will be a great poem.

Hi!
I loved it so much, and it was very true!
You did a great job and you were very creative.
Your rhyming wa pretty good and I hope to see more like this from you!
THanks for posting it, again, I really enjoyed it!

Got it sorted!

Love it ^^

nice one1!!!

Wonderful...
It surely does relate to me and to every teen out there....
Great rhythm and a perfect flow....
I wish i could write like you can....
Keep writing...
PM me for anything...

Well, this is an interesting...insight! I like it.

The only grammar things I noticed were:

There's more into this should be 'in', not 'into' a teen's mind than what you might have known;
We all have a desire to make Earth a better home

You boast about all the different things that you could can do;
You sulk around for months if someone does it better than you

Yes, as a teenager my mind might seem like a shallow pool;
But in fact I only need the warmth of a sweater made of wool

I am a teenager, being fifteen; ten syllables
I'll tell you what people think about being a teen thirteen syllables

You always think you're right, and when you get it wrong; twelve syllables
You blame it on the person who knew all along twelve syllables

You boast about all the different things that you could do; fourteen syllables
You sulk around for months if someone does it better than you fifteen syllables