Published September 10, 2011
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This poem is just another version of the 18th century children's prayer 'Now I lay down to sleep'.
The original prayer features in Metallica's 'Enter Sandman', Megadeth's 'Go to Hell', Snoop Dogg's 'Murder was the Chase' and Seagram's 'Peace to you', not to mention several movies that also use it. 'The Haunting in Connecticut' and 'Silent Hill' franchise.
I can't really say your version of the poem was especially original, given you used pretty much the same words as the original.
You should also have proofread your work a bit more because there are several passages that are confusing, and you seem to have forgotten words.
Keep writing and improving. I wish you luck.
It sounds like it came from the movie my soul to take. The imagery was missing, rhyming went weell but you must have noiticed glitches ion ur grammmar, I also found redundancy and confusion. I don't know it sounds like a prayer- guess thats the idea. But I seemed to feel that it was a copy or sth similar of the traioler of my soul to take.
It sounds like someone who is preparing for a battle or some other task that may very well end in their death. The first half was very coherent but the second started to unravel a little. Not bad, but like the focus had been lost.
This sounds alot like a prayer I once heard.
So you just randomly came up with it?