z

Young Writers Society


16+ Language Violence

Echo and Phoenix (Part 2)

by AliceinBluue


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.

ECHO AND PHOENIX CAUGHT ON CAMERA AGAIN

“I can’t believe StantheMan got to name Phoenix!” Parker complained, gesturing to his phone where the newest headline took up the entire screen.

“We did name Echo though, that’s pretty badass,” Nicole said. She and parker were sitting on the green in front of Nicole’s dorm building again, waiting for Michelle to come join them.

“Yeah, I guess,” Parker grumbled before throwing his hands in the air, “But still!”

“Yeah, yeah, your honor was offended,” Nicole said waving her hand at him dismissively. Parker slapped her hand away from his face laughing.

Nicole’s phone dinged as she went to retaliate and immediately all of her attention was focused on her phone. She practically dove for it where she had put it on the ground when she had first sat down. Her phone almost danced out of her hands as she fumbled to see why it had dinged.

Natalie: Hey, I’m good to move our study session to Tuesday

Nicole tossed her phone back onto the ground with a snort that was half frustration and half disgust.

“You still waiting to hear back from Deanna?” Parker asked quietly after a moment. Nicole could feel him staring at her in concern, but she just did not care right now.

“Yeah, she still hasn’t texted me about Wednesday,” Nicole said quietly.

“Hey, I’m sure she’ll text you soon, it’s not like her to ignore you,” Parker said, shifting closer to Nicole. Nicole leaned into his side, welcoming the comfort he was offering her.

“I just don’t get it Parker,” Nicole sighed, resting her head on his shoulder.

“I know, I know,” Parker said, resting his head on hers.

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: WE’RE JUST PEOPLE

Nicole threw her door opened wide and walked over to her bed, discarding her bag, keys, and shoes as she walked before collapsing into it. She pulled her phone out from her back pocket and quickly woke it up and typed in her password. She started at the black screen that was at the end of the video she had just watched for a few seconds before she put in her earphones and clicked the button to watch the video again, watching as Echo and Phoenix came into focus as the person behind the camera trembled. Phoenix smiled, but their smile was clearly stained as the interviewer started asking questions.

“Wh-what are you?” Comes the stuttered question of the unidentified interviewer.

Even though they are both wearing masks, Phoenix clearly rolls their eyes, “We’re just people,” They snap. Echo throws their shoulder into Phoenix’s side and Phoenix stumbles sideways as they shoot Echo a nasty look.

“We’re good samaritans, just trying to make the world a bit of a better place,” Echo says.

“How did you come to have your powers?” The interviewer asks, seemingly growing more confident the longer Echo and Phoenix stand there talking.

“Lots of pain and suffering,” Phoenix says, a dangerous glint in their eyes as they cross their arms.

“Why do you wear the masks?” The interviewer’s voice is loud and clear now.

“Wouldn’t you?” Echo shoots back.

“I don’t know,” The interviewer replies, “I know all the superheros wear them because they don’t want the people they love to be in danger, but if they were powerful enough, shouldn’t they be able to protect their loved ones anyways?”

“Well, we’re not willing to take that risk,” Echo said, voice hard as steel.

“Do you think your powers invite the possibility of a supervillain?”

“Supervillain?” Phoenix asked, looking visibly taken aback.

“Because you guys are superheroes,” The interviewer stated, as if it should have been obvious.

Phoenix sputtered for a second before managing to speak, “Did, did you not hear what we just said?”

“We’re just regular people with a little extra, we’re not superheroes,” Echo explained quietly.

“You two run around with special powers and help people, sounds like a superhero to me honestly,” The Interviewer said.

“We’re not superheroes, and we’re not asking for a ‘supervillain’ to come out of the woodwork for us,” Phoenix snapped. Echo placed a hand on Phoenix’s shoulder in a gesture that seemed both grounding and placating.

“Honestly, we’re just people trying to help,” Echo said, practically oozing earnestness.

“Not everyone can disappear in a flash of purple,” the interviewer sassed.

“No, most can’t,” Echo agreed blandly.

There was a silence as Echo and Phoenix just stared at the interviewer, and subtly, a purple glow started around the two of them.

“The interview is over,” Phoenix said as they quickly looped their arm around Echo’s shoulders. The purple bubble around the two of them suddenly burst into existence and the interviewer yelped and backed up.

There was an incredibly loud bang as the purple disappeared and Nicole yanked her headphones out of her ears, her face contorting into a sneer as the pop of their leaving echoed in her head.

“Did you watch a screamer or something?” She heard someone say.

Nicole lifted her head from where it was on her pillow to snap something unsavory at the person standing in her still open doorway and froze when she saw who it was.

“Deanna!” Nicole shrieked as she leapt out of her bed. She launched herself at her friend and wrapped the other girl in a crushing hug.

“Should I be concerned that you apparently have a habit of leaving your door open while you’re in bed?” Deanna asked, wrapping her arms around Nicole and returning the hug with a soft amusement.

“What are you doing here?” Nicole asked, refusing to let her friend go.

“Haven’t seen you in awhile, wanted to see if you wanted to go get lunch or something,”

Nicole pulled away, to reply when she finally got a good look at her friend. Her eyebrows curved up in distress as he mouth turned down.

“You look awful,” Nicole blurted out.

“Gee, thanks,” Deanna deadpanned, only the wry twist in her lip letting Nicole know she was kidding.

They stood like that for a few minutes, just sort of staring at each other as Nicole searched her friend’s face. After a good few moments of silence, Deanna cleared her throat and gave Nicole a pointed look.

“Well?” Deanna asked.

“Well what?” Nicole asked back, genuinely confused.

“Do you want to go get lunch and hang out?” Deanna repeated her question from earlier, amusement playing around the edges of her voice.

“Oh, I’m so sorry Dee, I’ve got a test coming up that I absolutely cannot fail,” Nicole said.

There was a split second where hurt flashed across Deanna’s face, but it was gone in the next second, covered up by a sincere looking smile.

“You kick that test’s ass, and we’ll celebrate with the good ice cream,” Deanna promised.

“Yes!” Nicole said, throwing her arms into the air in an over exaggerated gesture. Deanna laughed and shoved Nicole’s shoulder.

“See ya later nerd,” She said as she walked out of the room, “and close your door!”

SUPERVILLAIN RAMPAGES ACROSS THE STATE

Nicole watched the television in her floor’s common room in horror with a crowd of other college students as the news anchors talked about the supervillain who had seemingly popped out of nowhere. The text scroll at the bottom of the screen showed a near constant update about what was going on.

“We can only assume that this new player has come out of the woodwork because of the recent notoriety of two individuals named Echo and Phoenix by the internet.” The female reporter said.

“In the last video of them to make its rounds on social media, they made it very clear that they were not trying to entice a supervillain to challenge them, but that is clearly what happened here Beverly,” the male reporter said. 

There was a ringing in Nicole’s ears, she could feel her heart beating somewhere in her throat. All her mind could focus on was the fact that there was a supervillain rampaging, there was a supervillain rampaging, there was a supervillain rampaging.

The newscasters had moved onto more details about the supervillain, talking about some of the damage they had caused since their sudden emergence not three hours ago, but all Nicole could focus on was that one fact that kept buzzing around her head.

She knew she should probably pull out her phone, get in contact with her parents, with her friends, with someone. If not to reassure them that she was okay, then to make sure that they were safe. But she could not make herself start the process, her brain just seemed stuck in an endless loop.

Hold on folks, it seems as there’s been a development on the scene,” The male reporter said, interrupting whatever Beverly had been saying.

“It looks as if Echo and Phoenix themselves have made an appearance on the scene,” The male reporter said, “We’ll take to there now.”

The shot on the television switched from the two reporters to what must have been a live recording of the attack. Phoenix was shining brightly, their ‘wings’ of fire under their arms illuminating them slightly while Echo stood slightly behind them in the shadows, no sign of their signature purple glow. The supervillian stood a few feet away from them, large lightning sparks dancing across his fingertips and through his wild hair.

“As you can see Davis, the heroes known as Phoenix and Echo have arrived on the scene and it looks as if they are attempting to stop this supervillain’s rampage” Said a disembodied female voice.

“Please, this is never what we wanted,” Phoenix said, desperation dripping from every syllable.

“You think I give a damn about what you wanted?” The supervillain shouted, sparks flying through the air. Echo took a small step towards Phoenix, reaching for the other as the villain took a step forward.

“Please, please stop,” Phoenix almost seemed to be begging the villain.

“You left me! You both left me!” The villain shouted. Phoenix took a small step forward, reaching out for the villain in what looked to be an almost placating gesture. The villain shifted his weight backwards, shattering the relative peace that had reigned over the whole conversation.

In a split second, the villain had palmed and thrown a large chunk of ice at Phoenix and Echo had lunged towards their partner, grabbing Phoenix’s hand and twirling their partner away from the projectile and behind their back in one fluid movement.

In the next moment Phoenix lashed out at the villain, their wing of fire shifting from under their arm so it became more ribbon like. But there was already a strike of lighting shooting out from the villain’s fingertips to meet the flame midair.

There was a flash of light and a lot pop as both Echo and Phoenix stumbled backwards and the villain threw himself at them, arms out wide.

He caught Echo with what must have been a blast of air because Echo’s body caved like they had been on the receiving end of a powerful punch as they were lifted off their feet and flung out into the open air.

Phoenix screamed out Echo’s name and lunged for their falling body, but they were caught up in another blast of air and thrown in the opposite direction.

All of a sudden, Echo was obscured by their signature purple bubble, and with a pop, they appeared right next to Phoenix’s falling form, and with another pop, the two of them had been transported back to the rooftop.

The figures clashed on screen again as Nicole felt her phone start to buzz faintly in her pocket.

She extracted herself from the somber crowd around the television set, pulling out her phone to see who was calling.

As soon as she saw Michelle’s face pop up on the caller ID, she was answering the call.

“Are you safe?” Nicole asked as soon as she got the phone up to her ear.

“Yes, yes, Parker and I are both safe,” Michelle said, Nicole released the breath of air and some of the tension in her shoulders, “What about you?”

“I’m fine,” Nicole said, figuring that is was not important to mention that she was outside at the moment.

“Have you managed to get a hold of Dianna?” Parker said in the distance.

“Dianna isn’t answering her phone?” Nicole asked. She could feel her world narrowing to just this. Why would Dianna not be answering her phone? Was she in danger? Was she hurt or dead? Her brain could only focus on that one point, going around and around.

“Maybe she just doesn't have it on her right now,” Nicole said, her voice sounded funny and distant to her own ears, so she could only imagine what she sounded like to Michelle and Parker.

“Yeah, you know Dianna, always leaving her phone all over the place,” Michelle said, voice still pitched with worry but obviously trying to calm down everyone's nerves “I’m sure she’ll call us as soon as she realises she doesn't have it on her and make fun of us for freaking out so much,”

“Yeah she’ll laugh at us,” Nicole said, no real effort or emotions behind her words.

Someone in the crowds still surrounding the television screamed and Nicole jumped three feet strait into the air. Her heart felt like it was going to pound out of her chest as she whirled around.

Nicole frantically searched through the crowd, looking for what had caused the person to scream, her body so tense it was shaking as it tried to decide between fight or flight.

There was a girl in the crowd, her hands covering her mouth as she stared at the television, completely unaware of the other people in the crowd staring at her. Some of the people looked mad or irritated while other looked more sympathetic.

Nicole jogged back over to try and see the television screen, her heart still racing. She had no idea what might be on the screen, but something hard settled in the pit of her stomach anyways.

On screen, Echo was hunched over Phoenix, a light purple bubble around them that seemed to be coming from his hands. As Nicole watched, the supervillain cackled and threw what looked like a small sun at the bubble Echo had up. When the small sun hit the surface of the bubble, there was a bright flash and a loud bang that had everyone in the crowd flinching.

Once Nicole had finished blinking the stars out of her eyes, she focused back on the screen, sure that the other girl had been startled by a previous attack as the knot in her stomach started unravelling itself.

The villain drew his arm back and another ball of light formed in his hand as he shouted, “I know you can’t hold our forever!”

He threw the sun again, but this time, Nicole was ready for what came after, so she saw the purple bubble around Echo and Phoenix flicker slightly and her breath caught in her throat.

She had seen blood, lots and lots of blood in the flicker.

“What happened?” Nicole practically whispered, struggling to get enough breath through her frozen lips to make any noise.

The person next to her must have heard her though, because he turned to her and said, “Caught Echo by surprise, almost hit him with a big ass icicle but Phoenix jumped in front of ‘im”

“Phoenix didn’t melt it?” Nicole asked, focusing on the other student even as he continued to focus on the television screen.

“I think he tried to, but it maybe made it worse or somethin’ cause it just kept goin’.” Nicole understood why the other girl had screamed now, she felt a little bit like screaming too.

Slowly, Nicole focused back on the television, all the while convincing herself that she needed to finish bearing witness to what was happening.

There was movement happening in the bubble. Echo seemed to have grown three extra limbs that were waving around as the villain attacked the bubble again, this time with ice spikes that sprung up from the ground. The spikes shattered where they hit the bubble, but the bubble flickered alarmingly and lightened significantly in color.

The figures under the bubble froze for a second before the limbs started moving at a more frantic pace.

Finally, Phoenix burst out from under Echo, very clearly hunched over on one side, but standing.

The bubble burst as Phoenix stepped out from under it, just as the villain threw another small sun. Phoenix threw their hands out and their wings of fire rushed out. The villain threw their hands up to protect their face, so Phoenix’s fire hit their hands while the sun hit Phoenix dead center.

Phoenix flew backwards as the villain screamed, dropping to his knees as he held his burned hands up even as Phoenix’s fire receded.

Echo lunged for Phoenix as they hit the roof and skidded. The signature purple bubble appeared around the two of them and they were gone in the next second.

“Did... did they just run away?” someone in the crowd called out. There was a lot of mumbling, but no one really seemed to know. The newscasters on the television did not really seem to know either. They had switched back to the two anchors, but there was still a small corner of the screen dedicated to showing what was going on on the roof.

But Nicole just did not care anymore, she felt empty and hollow inside. Nothing was making sense, all her brain could seem to throw at her were sentence fragments. She stumbled away from the crowd, her hand clutching her phone so hard her knuckles went white as the phone started to buzz urgently again.


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8 Reviews


Points: 139
Reviews: 8

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Mon Feb 26, 2018 10:31 am
CallieAllie wrote a review...



Hey! I'm really sorry for such a late review, I hope you can forgive! >.<

I'm going to try out giving you a lil' more criticisim than last time so you can make this thing damn near perfect ;p
(let me know if I'm too mean...)

First off, your use of dialogue is really nice and gives the characters some life, especially when they joke around with each other. Some more description of your characters and their setting could be used after or before their dialogue though in order to give the story some more realistic depth - even if it's only an extra couple sentences. Maybe it's just me but I love it when an author can take your mind off anything bothering you in that moment and move you into a different world. ^.^

"Her phone almost danced out of her hands as she fumbled to see why it had dinged."
- I really like your use of personification :)

"asked quietly after a moment. Nicole could feel him staring at her in concern, but she just did not care right now."
I think you swapped tense? I'd have a check over again to make sure the tense of constant in order to avoid any confusion :3

“Yeah, she still hasn’t texted me about Wednesday,” Nicole said quietly.
Correct me if I'm wrong but I believe that you used quietly twice? (this sentence and the one above it in the text)

“I know, I know,” Parker said, resting his head on hers. (Ok, first off, this is adorable and I love it oh-so-very-much. Second, Try to avoid 'said' as a dialogue tag too often - more description = more immersion)

...from her back pocket and quickly woke it up and typed in her password. (watch the ands' in this sentence..)

She started at the black screen (stared?)

...stained as the interviewer started asking questions.
“Wh-what are you?” Comes the stuttered question of the unidentified interviewer. (check the tense again)

“Gee, thanks,” Deanna deadpanned, only the wry twist in her lip letting Nicole know she was kidding. (I'm liking the description, but try a little more show, less tell)

"but that is clearly what happened here Beverly,” (I would put a comma between here and Beverly)

“You left me! You both left me!” The villain shouted. (I love that there is some previous interations with the villan hinted at ^w^)

I am still absolutley all for this little story and hopefully I can review the rest for you! I love the way you write and especially the scenes with Echo and Phoenix.


~ Callie




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Sun Feb 25, 2018 6:51 pm
deleted221222 wrote a review...



Hello, I’m Thundahguy. Back again to review this. Here we go:

I see you’re keeping the whole three sections per part thing. I don’t know why, but I guess it’s just your thing. The way you rolled back the whole magical creatures act and turned into into a superhero thing did confuse me.

I like the perspective at which you’re telling this story. From the point of view of someone that’s interested in this kind of stuff and is actively trying to find out as much as she could. I also like the addition of social media that you’ve added into this. Makes it more grounded.

The character personalities are where your work shines. Parker, Deanna, and Michelle act like real humans, and I can see how Deanna may be trying to hide something. I will say that your way of explaining actions mixed with dialogue needs to be fixed, but currently it's doing a good job with your characters.

Main complaint here is with the third part. The way you describe Nicole's thinking is confusing. It isn't being conveyed properly, I feel, especially with some of your sentences like:

All her mind could focus on was the fact that there was a supervillain rampaging, there was a supervillain rampaging, there was a supervillain rampaging.


That’s all I have to say about this right now. There isn’t much else for me to comment on this time. The main problems would have to be the things I’ve already explained beforehand. I’ll read your next two chapters, though I probably won’t have much to say on the next one.




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Reviews: 62

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Mon Feb 05, 2018 4:28 am
AliceinBluue says...



@Mmellowme part two for you!!!





Pain is filtered in a poem so that it becomes finally, in the end, pleasure.
— Mark Strand