A/N: There is a weird spacing in one part of this between paragraphs, ignore it. It's either an extra big space or none at all at this moment, I don't know why it's acting like this. The space signifises nothing more than the usual spaces.
In the middle of the afternoon, Asgard gets together in an entire assembly one last time before they make their official first move against Loki. Frey, Freya, Heimdall, and Odin are some of the people already there.
In a warehouse sized room dozens upon dozens of tables are set up. The tables look as if there will be a classy banquet going on, but there will be no such elegance at this meeting. Two large doors plated with sophisticated patterns made of bronze stand at the east side of the room. In the middle of the room is a small stage-like platform made of newly polished wood; only a microphone on its stand, and a few sheets of paper are on the stage.
At a table, Heimdall, Freya and Frey sit down, waiting for the meeting to begin. Before then, the three were talking with other members and discussing plans. There at the table Heimdall scans the room for one last missing member to the table, but fails to see him.
He mumbles, grinding his teeth and seething harsh breaths through the spaces, “Where is Forseti? He’s over an hour late; the meeting will be starting soon. He had better not forgotten, Odin told us about this meeting many times over. If he has, I’ll…” Heimdall glares down at his watch while he grumbles further.
Freya hears his impatience from the other side of the table and rolls her eyes. “Then why don’t you go off, find him, and drag him here? It’s not like you have anything better to do.”
Heimdall looks up at Freya. “Would you look for him?”
She casts her head away from Heimdall’s direction while throwing a hand up. “Of course I wouldn’t.”
Heimdall glances back down at his watch and leans back in his chair. He makes his point, “See? And if you knew better, you wouldn’t have suggested that to me.” He quickly takes a look around the room and up on the platform; there’s no one on it, but it seems like there’s been some shifting around with the papers. Heimdall starts to groan again. “What’s taking him so long?”
Frey, looking off in the distance, notices a familiar figure skid across his eyes in the crowd. He attracts Freya’s attention, signaling that he needs to leave for a short bit, and Freya acknowledges, “Just don’t be too long, the meeting’s bound to start soon.”
Frey smiles, then dashes off toward the person. Within a few minutes, he comes back with the person and takes a seat next to Freya. Heimdall immediately speaks his mind, “A little lost boy found his way home, finally, after this long. What took you so long Forseti? What, did you really get lost on your way here?”
Since Forseti pictures himself in a good mood, he pleasantly smiles and sits down, calmly responding to Heimdall’s rude retort. “No, I wasn’t lost, I was busy with Loki. He doesn’t wake up as early as the Midgard Serpent does. Plus, you take the evening and night shift anyway; this isn’t something that would affect you.”
Heimdall’s irritation rises. Forseti knew this would happen and made sure to sit across the table from Heimdall. When silence fills the table, Frey looks over at the platform, at which point there’s someone on the platform, scanning around the room while flipping through the papers. Standing with his back to Frey, he wears a navy blue suit and red tie with his black, brushed hair.
When he turns around, his matching blue eyes scan the dull clothed tables and Frey moves his eyes elsewhere. Frey doesn’t find his person of interest and takes a peek back up at the platform and meets eyes with the man there. The man smiles and gestures for Frey to come to the platform. So, Frey gets up from his seat, and taps Freya’s shoulder and whispers into her ear.
Heimdall, from the corner of his eye, glimpses over at Frey in curiosity. Then he looks over at Freya, but she ignores him.
Freya watches as Frey walks up to the platform, then turns back to glace at Forseti and Heimdall. Once she turns back to Frey, she answers Heimdall’s curious face. “Odin called him up. He’s probably going to be the speaker again.”
Frey stands in front of Odin on the platform, both of them a good distance away from the microphone. “Frey, I need you to do the talking for today as well. I have other things I need to do.”
Frey gazes around at all of the people in the gigantic room. Then he pushes his hair out of his eyes once his gaze reaches back to Odin. “That’s fine by me, but truly Odin, how can you manage Asgard without doing any public speaking? It’s really quite amazing to think about.” Frey pauses. "It's been a while since I last saw you, when did you take your eye patch off?"
"About a month ago," Odin clear his throat, "I got a false eye. It's much easier than taking care of that old patch." Then Odin points to a pile of papers by the
edge of the stage. “Since that is said and done, the agenda for today’s meeting is behind you.” He
walks off the platform as Frey walks over to grab the small stack of papers.
Frey sits down at the edge and skims through the papers.
A few minutes later Odin comes back to the platform to start the meeting. Signaling to Frey that he’s ready to begin, Frey nods his head and stands up. Odin makes his stance in front of the microphone, taking in a small breath while his expression changes to fit the atmosphere for the meeting. “The meeting will now start. Refrain from speaking unless you are told to speak or are given the authority to speak by myself or Frey.”
The room falls silent rapidly. For sure, Odin is the leader of Asgard. How would he not be if even his words can hush a giant crowd to a deafening silence?
Odin outlooks the room one last time before handing the microphone over to Frey. When Frey begins, Odin sits down in Frey’s spot. The whole table turns to him. Forseti asks his questions first, despite being told to be quiet. “Odin, tell me why we should bother to call Alice the 'Midgard Serpent' when she is… well, you know what I mean, so why?”
Odin shakes his head. Forseti should know the answer already. Then he wonders what the point to asking the question would be if he already knew the answer. The only conclusion he could come up with is that Forseti just wants an opening, so that his real question he wants to ask would blend in with the rest. Yes, that has to be it, but then what would Forseti want to ask that he needs to do this much extra work for?
Odin decides to appear dumbfounded in Forseti’s trap, but he makes sure to whisper to not alert anyone else from another table. “Yes, her name is Alice, but we do not want her organization to notice that we are targeting her specifically. They should know that we, Asgard, have a chance of being after her, since she is associated with Loki, but they should not know that fact as of yet. We must keep it in such a way. After all, Wonderland is a very dangerous enemy to go against. That is why we call her by a Norse name, to avoid any suspicion from Wonderland. Does that answer your question, Forseti?”
And as Odin assumed, Forseti knew the answer. But to his surprise, Forseti seemed like he had hoped Odin would have said more. “I suppose that is enough information for now.” Could that really have been his question? Or is he trying to outsmart Odin further? Maybe, it’s something else entirely. If so, then what is Forseti after?
Odin sighs; but he knows all too well that if he gives too much information it could be hazardous and Forseti could make a move of his own. And despite his trust in him, Odin knows that Forseti’s as dangerous as Wonderland, and could easily put all of Asgard at risk.
Odin trails off the thought and concentrates on Frey. He is nearly done with explaining how the rest of the retrieval would go. “From here on out Odin will give directions only on what is needed. Now, for those that are new enough to have yet been notified about Wonderland, please listen closely.” He flips the page to the other side, takes one glance, and doesn’t look back at it. “To start with, the Midgard Serpent is part of Wonderland, the organization that is our rival enemy. They are also after the pocket watch that we, Asgard, are aiming for. We do not know of their reasons why as of yet, but it is quite possible to be the same reason that we are after it.” Frey licks his lips.
“But I will give you a word of warning, as we use Norse names to keep our enemy’s names and our own a secret, so does Wonderland. That is to misguide our enemy regarding all the information we know. The code name Wonderland uses is that from their world, from the book. For example, the Queen of Hearts, is the leader of Wonderland, like that of Odin for Asgard.” Frey pauses at the next name. He knew the person well. “There is also someone else you should know, who has two names, but we are not sure of his second. Normally, he goes by the Cheshire Cat, but we do know that he is called by another name. If you should encounter him, try to escape at all costs. He’s extremely dangerous.”
Frey takes a short time to regain his breath from speaking, and then he jumps back in from where he left off. “You must keep all of this information at the utmost of secrecy, this is confidential information for our ears only, and we will know if there is a leak anywhere. That is all for today’s meeting. Any questions about today’s meeting can be addressed to me or Odin from your intercom. I wish you well on your role.”
Everyone leaves the room immediately after the meeting, except for the one table. Frey, Heimdall, Freya, Forseti, and Odin are the only ones who stay after the meeting to address some of their thoughts and questions, or to listen.
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I put my note cards down, and stare at my desk. The wooden waves of the grain seem to move, so I look down at the floor, and it begins to change colors. Then I start to get dizzy. I rub my forehead to see if that would help any, but it does none. I peer over at Pleasance, who is starting to get blurry as well, but I can’t make out her expression. I try squinting, but that doesn’t help either.
I barely hear Pleasance walking over to me, and my head nods slowly as sleep tries to come to me. Through my nods I feel Pleasance lightly shaking me, trying to get me to respond. Yet, I don’t, or really I couldn’t. My vision fades from me and clouds the rest of my senses with my hearing the second to fade. Once I lose my hearing my feet collapse from under me and seconds later I’m unconscious.
“Sir, you’re not answering me, are you okay?” Pausing, I, Pleasance, wait to see if All Father would respond to me. Then seeing that he doesn’t, I try to come up with a reason why he’d be in such a condition. I know that it must have been from stress, I can think of no other possible reason.
Since All Father has fallen asleep, it looks like I’ll be the one to continue from where he left off. However, I will only take his place until he wakes up. But first, let me put him to bed.
Now let’s see, where did he last stop? Well, I’m not quite sure, but I hope that I’ve chosen a reasonable spot.
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Forseti begins the conversation when he rummages in his messenger bag from under the table as he speaks. “So, Odin, since we’ve begun the next phase in the plan, why don’t you tell us a bit more on what we’re after and why we’re after it? Then tell us more about this pocket watch. It must be worth a pretty penny in your eyes if you’re going to send the Fate Sisters as decoys.”
Odin nods his head, continuing pretense his to Forseti. “Is that all? I thought would have asked something harder to answer.” Just before he gives Forseti an answer, Odin reconsiders. “So you want to know what the pocket watch really is, eh? So let’s say I tell you, what would you do with it?”
Forseti stops rummaging through his bag and glances up at Odin. “There’s not much that I can do, but I don’t want to waste my time.” Forseti goes back to rummaging through his bag carefully.
Odin doesn’t believe a single word that Forseti says, but he has doubt in his judgment. There must be something that he’s missing from what Forseti said, there has to be a clue; but where? “And let’s say I don’t tell you, what then?”
Forseti once again stops rummaging, but this time he doesn’t look away from his bag. “Nothing, because you are the leader of Asgard and we trust your decisions.” Forseti finds what he’s been looking for and pulls the thin folder out and on to the table as he takes a seat back on his chair.
Odin groans quietly to himself with an absolute certainty that Forseti’s lying. “Fine, I will tell you, but on one condition: you must not tell a soul of what I am about to say, and this includes all the other members of Asgard. Am I clear?”
Everyone agrees with a nod of their head, so Odin begins by folding his fingers together. “Although the pocket watch does not work, as it hasn’t for seven years, it is still useful without a doubt. It is not worth much, at least to those who don’t know what the watch can actually do. However, when you connect the pocket watch to its other half, when the watch is a second before midnight, a pathway will be shown and that path will connect you to the Gods’ power. It will connect you to Ragnarok, the ultimate destruction, a weapon of decisive power, which is able to destroy everything.” Odin pauses, letting the sound of inhumane destruction ring in his ears. He flickers his eyes with attention soon after.
“This path is called the Rainbow Bridge, the very bridge that Heimdall protects. You see, every world exists, created long before humans existed, though we try to claim the idea ours, but nothing can exist without something holding it together. The only way our World, Midgard, still exists is because of Asgard, and the only way Asgard exists is because All Father has kept his sanity. The goddess we are trying to save is what keeps All Father together. Everything is connected in one way or another.”
Odin waves his hands in the air with frustration. “And doomed be us all if we ignore this problem! All Father can’t do this by himself, and we can’t do it by ourselves either, so we need to do this together, we have to. If we don’t, well, in a worst case scenario, two Worlds are destroyed and this causes life-threatening problems for other Worlds.”
Heimdall pushes his way into the conversation. “So, how do we save this goddess? Who is she? What does this have to do with the pocket watch that Loki owns?”
Odin sighs and leans back in his chair. “Well, to be honest, that’s the problem right now. I don’t know much more than that to give you a clear answer. All I do know is that there is a spell on this goddess, whom I don’t recognize from anywhere, and that spell is weakening.” Odin takes a quick breath in and out. “When this spell breaks, this goddess will, in a sense, die. Though, her death is not permanent and she can be revived, there’s a catch to it. The catch is one of many things I don’t know, and other than Ragnarok, I can’t find any other way to help her. Though, if there’s a catch to Ragnarok as well, I can’t say I know it either.”
Freya also breaks into the conversation. “Okay, but even if this ‘Ragnarok’ exists and we manage to get hold of it, will we be able to use it?”
Odin crosses his arms and looks down, nodding his head. “Hold on, one question at a time. I haven’t even finished Heimdall’s yet. However, these two questions connect, luckily for you. The other half that the pocket watch needs is something that I’m currently looking in to. Before I tell you more on it, I want to figure out how to put them together. There’s a lot of holes in the plan, and that’s because we are dealing with the Gods.”
He sighs. “So, even if we are able to use it, which I can only assume at this point, I don’t even know if we will be able to get there. That’s all I know right now, and until my informant comes back with more information, all of your other questions will remain unanswered.” Odin gets up from his chair, grabs the papers Frey used during the meeting, and leaves before anyone can ask him another question.
Forseti puts the file back in his bag and throws the bag over his shoulders as he walks away in the same direction as Odin.
Then Frey begins to leave and Freya quickly strides up to walk beside him. She turns her head to peer over, but Frey avoids her glance as he turns his head away. Seeing his reaction, she whispers a worry, “Do you fear for Loki’s sake that much?”
Frey talks as quietly as Freya did, but the tone he carries sends a chill down her spine. “Not another word on this subject. If word got out about our connection, then we all could be in danger; all five of us. It needs to remain a secret in order to keep us safe. Do you hear me?”
Freya remains quiet until she’s out of the building. Then she leans against the wall and Frey joins her. “Frey, you know you can’t hide it from me. I know you’re worried about Loki, so please, don’t be strict with yourself.”
Frey turns his gaze to the afternoon sky. “Yes, I know I worry, but I am not being hard on myself about it. It’s just that today marks two years since Loki lost her.”
Freya watches the ground as she paces in circles near the wall. Frey peeks at her anxiety, but fails to show much concern. “Yeah,” Freya says, “I guess it really has been two years since then, but at least she’s alive. That’s why Alice is around right now. But he’ll get through the day Frey, he has to.”
“I know, but it’s been two years. What if she never comes back? Loki’s the one that’s hard on himself, he’s the one struggling every day to get by. Besides, the last thing we want is a repeat of what happened afterwards. All Father is busy as it is. You remember what Odin said, about the new goddess’s spell that is weakening. He doesn’t have time to deal with Loki; not now and definitely not later.”
Freya says, “What are we to do about Alice then? Frey, she’s what we have to worry about second most. It’s true that the new goddess is what’s most important right now because it’s All Father we’re talking about, he's even lonelier. But Frey, if Alice stays like this much longer, she’ll never get better.”
She pauses to take a breath. “If we can take care of Alice, then we won’t have to worry about Loki. Also, I want to know why L-, I mean, why she gave us that black letter. She told us in the letter to tell Loki who she really is. Do you think we should tell Loki? He might not believe us or take it well. Oh, Frey, I don’t know what to do anymore, help me with this.”
Frey puts his head back down. He starts to walk away. “Freya, I fear we are already too late.”
Freya runs to catch up with him. “That may be true, but I hope not. In the next phase Odin may tell Loki; and we can’t trust that Forseti won’t tell since he’s knows. Besides, telling him ourselves could be even worse. Sometimes I think the truth is better left untold, Frey, for his sake.”
“That may be the case for him, it’s hard to tell.”
Freya and Frey leave the building for another, in hopes that their worst fears will not come from the start of the next phase. Freya pulls a black envelope out of her pocket, but shoves it back within seconds.
Frey looks around for any member of Asgard or Wonderland. Then, blocks past the building the meeting was held in, Freya and Frey turn to a thin alleyway. They stop at an ancient looking wooden door and upon opening the door, a smell of mold from old books with layers of dust on top emits from all around them. To escape the smell, Frey and Freya rush to the other side of the room. Another door, made of the same wood as the one they entered through, lies below at their feet, with a heavy bronze latch marking the front.
Freya pulls the door up, letting a waft of cold air come through. Looking down, a metal ladder leads them down into a dark tunnel. They walk slowly down the pitch black tunnel in search of another destination.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hi! Aravis, here to review! Happy Review Day! And go Team Plasma! I have to admit before I start that I have not read your other chapters. But I will try not to ask annoying questions, and hopefully this review will be helpful!
First, I love your title! It is very engaging and made me want to read this story! Asgard? Like Thor, right? I thought Loki was the bad guy, but he doesn't seem like it in this chapter. I'm a little confused, but 1. I haven't read the other chapters and 2. I don't know much about mythological stuff. Now to the real review!
Good Things: This looks like it has a very good, but kind of involved plot. The suspense about this watch destroy the world thingy is very interesting. It's also cool how all these different worlds are somehow connected.
Critiques: I personally think that this story might be a little easier to read if it were in past tense. The only present tense stories that I have read are all in first person.
Speaking of first person, you do use first person in the middle section. But first, "I" is the perspective of All Father. The suddenly "I" is Pleasance. I had to go back and read that part twice. For "I", choose what perspective you want that to be All Father or Pleasance. Also, when you change perspectives make it clearer so people don't have to read it twice.
Random question: What are the blue words for? Is that something you did?
One thing that will really help you is reading your writing out loud. This helps me so much! If it sounds awkward out loud, it is definitely awkward to read.
Keep writing! It's the only way to get better. As a wise teacher once told me, "The skill to do comes from doing." Or "The skill to write comes from writing."
Team Plasma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, I haven't corrected much on it, so I know it's confusing at some parts. I'm slowly getting to correcting them though. The blue words are some malware stuff that I can't quite get off my computer, unless I pay for it. The prices I see to take care of this little stuff is way too much for me, I'm stingy like that, so I personally ignore it. Thanks for the review though!
Hey! Lets get this started, shall we?
First of all, at the beginning of this story, you mentioned Forseti being one of the people already there, but later Heimdall is complaining about him not being there.
'Black brushed hair' should be 'black, brushed hair'.
I was under the impression that Odin only had one eye?
I think that in Forseti's question, Midgard Serpent should have apostrophes around it, not Alice.
Both Cheshire and Cat should be capitalized.
Besides the one table should be except the one table.
Goddess shouldn't be capitalized.
Could should be can when Odin leaves the room.
'Even lonelier personality' sounds strange. Maybe put 'he's even lonelier' instead.
Put commas on both sides Frey. ('Untold, Frey, for his sake.)
You can just put 'shoves it back'. You don't need to mention pocket again.
Okay, nitpicking over. This chapter has some good exposition, and it helps explain a lot, so good job on that. I see that you put dividers between All Father and the rest of the story, thank you for that. This story is definitely taking off. Keep up the good writing!