My Sun

I could feel the Sun smile down on me

As soon as you aboard the bus

Late as always, yet excited as ever

Racing up the stairs in a brisk manner

A smirk playing across your face

Slowing time, as we locked eyes

A jerk from the bus broke your trance

You almost fell of the sudden pull

I chuckled at the moment cut short

Walking upto me rather embarrassed

With your best smile asking, "Do you mind?"

"Not at all", I scoot with a playful grin

I remember to this day

How all my smug expressions would fade

You were my Sun, around you I'd melt

From across the aisle is another thing

But heart gets too loud when you're too close

I averted my gaze as you sit beside

Looking out at the scenes that go by

But I'm not too strong to resist long

Stealing a look at your handsomeness

As you're immersed in your phone

You look up to find my eyes on you

I divert my gaze but it's too late

I turn red at being discovered

As you extend a hand to shake

I comply, saying my name

Sunrays teasing my hair as I did

We ended up laughing about it

Throughout the ride that remained

Lovely days followed behind

The August summer most beloved

The journey became more awaited

Rather than where I was headed

You'd wave to me at your stop everyday

And I'd save you a seat on the bus each day

We were strangers no more, it seemed

Great friends who'd discuss exciting things

Neither of us too naive to assume

That it was all that we were

Our bond deepened with time

Over shared bus rides, one after another

You loved explaining your thesis on chemistry to me

And narrating all the crazy football matches you played

I'd share my worries over college & career

And recite to you the poems I wrote

The ones you'd endlessly praise

You'd help me find direction

Like my pole star, in the night sky

Isn't that what you were?

The compass of my messy life

You'd hold my hand and squeeze

Telling me some risks I need to take

To grow in life and make progress

In return, I'd listen mesmerized

To all the future plans you made

Drowning in those dark brown eyes

Reflecting mine, ever so beautifully

But the bus ride wasn't without its bumps

Your buddies were never much fond of me

They claimed that I was draining you out

My friends, too, warned against you

That your embrace may warm me as fire now

But when we're over, all that I'll be left with is

My lungs suffocating from the smoke of us

I mention my birthday to you accidentally

Only to find you in a car outside the bus

Gesturing to me when the day arrives

To accompany you in a long drive

Just us two, through the evening

I get off at your stop, an odd feeling

"I hope you didn't have plans already"

"You know I don't really celebrate"

"This year, we will", you flash a smile

As I take in your charming surprise

Stars don't align, to your dismay

Our trip halted, the tire gone flat

But you're pretty determined

To not let any mishap ruin the day

"Follow me", you lead the path

Racing me as I trail right behind

Guiding the way to a grass lawn

We lie on our backs, counting stars

Complimenting the gibbous moon

I brag to the heavens above

How it may be night for the world

But, by my side, I've got my Sun

We found a place to crash for the night

Finding an abandoned barn, we rest

You moved the hay to a corner

While I searched for sheets to sleep

You whistle to grab my attention

"Climb up, the view is surreal"

You call from the top of a tower

You made from hay bundles

To reach the oculi of the barn

You lend down a hand for support

I take it, hastening to the top

I gaze out the window with awe

At tall grass stretching far & wide

Glistening under the ethereal moonlight

Your hands graze my delicate skin

As you stand tall behind me

I melt into your soft touch

My back leaning against your chest

I could feel the heat rise

As if you've the Sun blazing

& I'm aflame with desire

I could feel your lips near my neck

Making their way to my ear

Your fingers brushing past my belt

One of them clutched a belt loop

The other forearm encircled my waist

You whisper low, "Hope you don't mind fun"

I'm confused by what you mean

Just then, you pick me up

Pushing me down the tower of hay

I land on the bottom stack

Laughing my heart out

"This was so not fair", I complain

"Let's make it even then", you say

Before jumping down yourself

Landing on a hay stack beside me

Placed a little above mine

You roll to reach my level

Almost landing on top of me

Our faces mere inches away

Your chains dangles over my chest

I gaze in your maze eyes

Cupping your face gently

Admiring your dusky tone

I part my lips slightly with a sigh

As it gets difficult to breathe

I wish I chose courage that day

But the only words I could muster were

"It's late enough, let's call it a night"

You nod, getting off of me

You say nothing but I can see

The sparkle in your eyes that died

Still complying with my wishes

We set our beds and dozed off

In the morning we get the car repaired

You drop me home, hugging me bye

"Happy birthday again", you call out

As I head my door's way, "Technically

It was yesterday, now it's the next day"

"Oh, shut up, please", you sneer at me

"I will, have a good day", I giggle back

Some more months passed

We're, as usual, having a blast

Until you board that dreadful day

Meeting eyes, from across the aisle

Your face was down- I could tell

Without a doubt, something was amiss

I looked at you expectantly & you spill

"The renowned professor took me in

His winter intership program overseas

Tommorow is the last time I take the bus

To join there, I must leave within the week"

My world shattered as I knew it

But I buried my feelings of hurt

"Congratulations, you deserve it"

Was all I said that day & after the news

You didn't dare to say another word

I had always feared you weren't forever

But I wasn't yet ready to be done

I didn't have a say though, that much was clear

I could feel the Sun burn my skin

The day you last aboard the bus

On time today, dejected for once

Climbing up stairs with heavy steps

Mustering a smile with great difficulty

I too faked a grin, for I couldn't bear

Your last memory of me to be in tears

We locked eyes, stalling inevitable fate

Stealing however little time we could

You walk up to me & I move aside

"You know I'll miss you dearly"

You confess handing me a bag

I opened it to find a customised pen

With your name imprinted on its body

And a picture of you when you eye

The lid from inside, hidden in plain sight

In the world, for only me to see

I reach my hand farther to pull a packet

Packed with sunflower seeds

"You say I'm your Sun, thus a flower

To remember me from & cherish"

My heart feels full, like my damp eyes

I hand you a box in return having

The cleats you've been pining for

Your face lights up for a minute

Falls from the box a thin folded paper

"A poem that I wrote for you yesterday"

"Then read it to me, this last time"

"I wish I could, but it's too much

So keep it for when you get home"

I place it in your hand looking into your eyes

You carefully place it in your side pocket

"I'll reach out, from time to time"

"No, you won't", I say while looking away

Eyes at the window I see the same scenes

Except the heated Sun now eats away at me

The sunrays no longer tickle or tease

All they give me is an awful tan & headache

You rest your palm on my knee cap

"Please, look at me", you plead

I comply, even against my wishes

Just as the bus comes to a halt

Horror takes over both our bodies

To get off your stop, you stand slowly

Heading down the bus with a bitter taste

You wave me goodbye at the window

Your eyes longing and lips drawn thin

The bus advances forward as I offer a weak smile

You turn around to make your way home

When the bus comes to a stop a little farther

I get off of it, offering you a teary laugh

As I sprint to where you stand wretched

Drawing you into a big hug as you grin

And pick me up and spin me around

You finally place me down, sad still

So am I, but before I get back on the bus

I plant a kiss on your cheeks, that later blush

I took you by surprise when you didn't expect

Fingertips against where my lips were

Running back aboard while you still recover

I wave goodbye a final time, no regrets

At having lived a tale of great love

Letting the tears fall yet laughing through

Seeing you for the last time, the turmoil brews

That breaks as floods when I get home

It's been years since we met

I water the sunflower you gave

On a cloudy day, when the Sun is hidden

I look at where it turns, to find where you are

I can no longer get on a bus, since you went

My eyes would scan your face if I did

And the heart would break at your absence

I suspect I'd still save you a seat hoping

You'd get on the next stop to come

Despite clearly knowing better

The brain refrains from accepting truth

Now I wake at the crack of dawn

Leaning against the balcony rails

To watch the very first sun rays

Pierce the sky, still rather dark

Witnessing the first red paint drop

On the canvas somewhat black

For a moment, I can feel the spark

Ignite somewhere deep in my soul

To feel that warmth once more

Which I before felt in your arms

As the day is over, I stand by the window

Sun setting over the endless horizon

Seeing it being dragged away against its will

A hostage abducted by the lofty clouds

Disappearing in the deep blue dusk

I shed a tear, finally bidding goodbye

Reminiscing how careless I was before

Now I'm mad in love, eyeing helplessly

The Sun being dethroned by the night

I see your face in it, how could I not?

Your felt presence endears the heart

Afterall, you're my Sun for time eternal

I'm your marionette that never tires

In your orbit, I forever revolve

It's been ages, won't you return still?

Without you, this Earth would freeze

I said Sun, but never meant miles apart

Dear gone lover, how do I sustain life

Without your reviving sunshine?