Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: So this seems like a pretty cool idea, not exactly the most original in the history of ideas but a pretty cool little short nonetheless. The twist was also supremely twisted and really hard to predict which is always good rather than it being easily predictable. The earlier foreshadowing, especially with the title was also great.
Anyway let's get right to it,
It was a cold Novemeber evening in Massachusetts. Genni sat on her couch, the crunching sound of popcorn under her teeth. She was watching Freddy vs Jason. As she sat there, scared to death, she truned down the volume.
Not going to point all the spelling errors because someone was kind enough to do that already. The start...works. Setting properly establishing and a good mix of the senses to really help get immersed in there and that's lovely to see.
"I hope this hasn't woken up Maybelle." Genni whispered to herself. She hit pause on the remote, and crept up the stairs. There were no crying noises. But to be sure, Genni slowly opened the door to a crack. It creaked like it was old. When really, they just moved in.
Well...actually brand new things can creak too...only things used for some time but not too many times are usually smooth and soundless.
"Ooh! That's gonna leave a mark!" Genni giggled, cringing at the sight. It all evolved into something even more gruesome. Freddy's own arm get's plumeged into his chest, leaving him vulnerable to Lori, who decapates him.
That's definitely going to leave a mark.
"Oh...That is soo freaky." Genni thought to herself. "And I just watched a horror movie." She pulled the blinds up, to see a girl lying in her yard. Genni, only in shorts and a t-shirt, stepped inot the brisk air. With gooseflesh now forming on her, she slowly walked. The smell of blood got stronger.
Uh oh...that does not sound good.
It was Lori, the girl from the movie. "Holy Crap!" she whispere. Lori's eyes shot open. Genni screeched. Lori pointed at the house.
And wow what a twist. The setup was amazing...the title was great at the foreshadowing and this final twist works out really well.
Genni started to sweat, even though it was fifty below out. The window shattered, and Jason Voorhees stood before her. Same as he looked in the movie. A scream tried to cut it's way out of Genni's mouth, but all that could come was a small, "Ah."
pretty realistic reaction to that right there.
Thud! She fell onto her back. Tears stung ehr eyes as the massive form of Jason appeared. "Please...please don't hurt me!" Genni cried. Sobbing actually. Jason shook his head and said, "Genni, oh Genni. You stupid little ****."
Okay...well that was an interesting line but...really nice description there again as to what happens in the scene.
Genni stopped crying. And stood up now. Braver.
Freddy Krueger now stood before her. Genni smiled. "I'm not asleep! I would know if I was. It wouldn't feel soo.." "Real?"Freddy laughed. "Oh Genni...I thought you would be soo smarter. You do know that I can make it seem like your not dreaming. And what seems like reality, isn't." He cocked his head, that evil grin on his face, that spark in his eyes. His eyes, uncomfortable and cold. Unforgiving.
Okay now I'm thinking more things...my original theory about this might be wrong...let's see.
"Argh! Help someone wake me up please!!!" She felt like screaming. But instead she said, "How do I know this isn't just a regular dream i'm having because I watched the movie?"
The best part is you don't...or do you.
Freddy smiled. He turned and walked away. She could hear him scraping those claws against the walls and pipes. SGenni felt the hot steam it her face. And worst off all, she knew he'd be coming back. He did. Freddy did.
Well okay now that's all kind of out of the window if she's going to be feel things...but some pretty cool descriptions so far.
Genni imagined it happening. So vivid. "You said you wanted to know..." Freddy started, but stoopped. He saw Genni was laughing. "And might you tell me what is soo funny?" He asked, angered. "This is soo not real." she said between laughs. Freddy glared, and lifted his right hand. Genni stopped laughing immediatly. Freddy pointed on razor, poking the baby's head. It went deeper and deeper until the baby was no longer breathing.
Well now that is some very serious imagery...
Genni jolted awake on the couch. She ran upstairs to the baby. It was horror. The baby had been stabbed. Genni cried, wishing she hadn't denied him.
Well that was a sad ending...my theory was kind of right but then also mostly wrong...ahh...so many twist in this one.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall there was some good description that really added quite a bit to this, the dialogue was a bit much but then considering those movies that's about par for the course with them so not too much to worry about there. A pretty solid piece.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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Reviews: 4101
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