Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,503 Literary Works • 672,590 Reviews
i love this poem. it expresses the feeling that most people are afraid to talk about. the feeling that love is non-existant..... or that you're afraid to feel love because of the hurt it brings.... i love these kinds of poems. the poems that talk about what the world is really like. the fact that there is no prince charming, there is no truly happily ever after, and that everything will not always be okay. people need writers like you to reveal that truth to them, to open their eyes so they dont go on with life thinking that it will always rain bubbles and daisies.....
hi, i really liked this poem. I thought you planned it out well and added a lot of detail.
Well done!
Hello(:
I really enjoyed your poem. Throughout the entire thing, I was thinking of how right you were. The way the sentences were pieced together made the poem better, in my opinion. I agree with the person above me(:
Other than no punctuation, I find no problems.
I love this. It's so true in my opinion. I see nothing wrong with this poem, and I loved it loved it loved it! You did a great job on writing this, and I know I'm not the best at reviewing, but if you need anything reviewed, just ask!
Thankies!
}}i{{FS}}i{{
PS: Did I mention I love this!?
I love it! You're different in writing poems about love for you showcase it as Love in the darker side. To what love should not be for love is the greatest thing/ feeling that a person can experience. Great!
Next stop, the last stanza. Hmmm. *critiquing* Nice!! Conclusion and application takes place. Great! Great! *speechless*
In general, you have a great piece! Keep on writing!
There's no puctuation, but beside that, I don't see anything wrong! Keep on writing because you are really good at this! *Clicks like one-million times over*
There's nothing new here, and it limits its impact. You're not saying anything original about love. It also has almost no flow. I find the best way to edit your poem to make it read better is to take it and read it out loud to yourself, so you can hear where it feels awkward and clunky and correct it. Unfortunately, this is what this needs, because at the moment it's difficult to read this. You need to be more expressive and change up your lines so they're not the same old "on the surface" or "love can be a feeling."
Good luck in the future.
I thought this was very interesting. I liked the thoughts that you put on here, In my opinion the flow wasn't to great fro me. But you made it the way you did for a reason, so lol. Really all together I can say that I liked this =) hope to read more from you sometime