Deleted

Oh right yeah
I know this version is kinda crap but I rewrote this under a different title, "The Demented Angel"
I still don't know how to delete this. lol

Hi, enjoyed reading your work. It was very interesting. However, I think you need to try to add more emotions,well, thats my opinion. Anyway happy holidays!

Hey thanks for the comment xD

Im gona edit all of this today

Alright, So, wow. Wow, that was a lot. Too much telling, not nearly enough showing, and you need a balance of both. You
don't have enough emotion, and thats something every peice needs

I was born in England in 1705. Both my mother and father yearned to get out of the city and live somewhere more remote…quiet and peaceful. That’s what brought them to New Lock. My mother was the most beautiful woman in New Lock, Lady Mary Edwards. With her lock of brown long hair and enchanting blue eyes she could’ve had the whole world at her feet, she could’ve been a Princess. She had a bright future ahead of her but she was content to stay with my father, Lord Edwards.

Lord Edwards was a sailor, with his blond hair and brown eyes he was loved by the English queen and she sponsored him to sail far and wide bringing back new riches and glorious tale of his adventures. He was an interesting father to have and one day, in spite of my status as a girl, I wanted to travel the world just like him.

My mother used to frown on my dream. She used to tell me that the sea was never a place for a woman. She believed I had a bright future somewhere else, a happy marriage and a lot of money. She told me I was special and the older I got the more I tried to ignore her teachings. I thought she only said those things to me was because I was the only child…it took me longer to figure out it was because I was a girl.

At the age of ten I was a dreamer. The classes where I was meant to sew I daydreamed about traveling the world. The times when I was forced to sit through etiquette lessons I imagined myself in a castle in some far away kingdom and meeting their prince son for the first time. I couldn’t lie…I dreamt of marrying a Prince. I wanted my life to be perfect but it all changed the day that my father came back from sea.