Young Writers Society

Hi AkeliaTaske!

Liberty500 here for a review! Ok, first of I'd like to say that you expressed your emotions really well. (That's something that I have to work on.)

There were a few mistakes that I saw were scattered here and there.

This sentence: "But there's still some much to say." The words "some much" doesn't make sense. It would make it better if you maybe changed that sentence to: "But there's still so much to say."

The next sentence in which I saw a mistake was this: "And yet I still feel not good enough." If I say that sentence in my mind or aloud then it sounds quite awkward. You could change it to: "And yet, I still don't feel good"

The comma in between loyal and strong should be deleted in this sentence: "You are so loyal, strong and careful,"

"Stood me up from where I sat." doesn't make sense, so you might wanna change "Stood me up" to some other words.

These were the main mistakes that I found. Over all, your poem really was full of emotion and love and... Your poem was SUPERB!!!

Keep on writing!

~Liberty500

this poem's really heartfelt, and i think you perfectly managed to convey your sadness. we all love our best friends (though some of us don't have any *looking nowhere*).

there might be some lines that require editing, though. for example, where you wrote:
"Stood me up from where I sat."

i think that here you probably meant that your friend picked you up from where you fell, but actually, "stood me up" means failing to meet expectations, or to directly quote google,

"(NOT MEET) ​ to fail to meet someone you had arranged to see: He was supposed to be here at seven, so by seven thirty I began to think that he stood me up. (Definition of “stand up someone” from the Cambridge Academic Content Dictionary © Cambridge University Press)."

so, if i might suggest an alternative, some thing like, "helped me rise from where i sat"?

And, "From your love, the troubles have been mend." um, correct me if i'm wrong, but this sentence seems a little off, grammatically. not that i'm qualified to say that, but well....it just seems off. perspective, i guess. maybe, change the 'from' to 'with'. and maybe because 'mend' should've been 'mended'?

but there are parts i simply looovvee
like,
"I love you, though I don't deserve you,
Can you please forgive your friend?"

having lost a best friend of my own some time ago (mainly because being a ***), these lines feel like a plea full of hope, a world with different outcomes, of what-ifs.

and, "You are so loyal, strong and careful, How can I live up to that?" you're so right, we cant ever live up to that.

overall, this is great.

hope you and your friend stay in touch. best friends dont give up on each other.

@ZeldaisSheik and I knew each other scince first grade and then we went to different high schools. I honestly feel like we are siblings and when we were going to different schools I was a little scared about our friendship. Your poem really hit home for me.