E - Everyone

The Countdown: first part

Profile #200

Name: Erza Justine

Age: 14

Home: Paris, France

Chance of survival: 0.01%

Infection Status: CLASSIFIED

After looking around for a few minutes, everything is starting to make more sense. I though my mom was joking when she signed to me and told me I was being put in the Rally.

We have seen deaf children in the Rally before, but I never thought I would be one of them.

We have never seen one of them win before.

Tears start to pour out of my eyes. I am so weak and small. There is no way that I could win the Rally. I am not strong. Im not the smartest either.

They took me when I was reading in my bedroom. They suddenly burst in. the last thing I saw was my mom. She signed to me. She said she loved me. Stay strong.

When they pointed the camera at me, I didn’t know what to do. I started to cry. I decided to sign, I love you. I hope my mom knows how much I miss her.

Russ

Profile #06

Name: Russel Luke Banks

Age: 8

Home: Idaho, USA

Chance of survival: 0.0009%

Infection Status: CLASSIFIED

I will not kill.

I will not kill.

I will not kill.

I repeat this over and over to myself as I walk. Its what mommy and daddy taught me.

I will not kill.

I will not kill.

I will not kill.

I was helping mommy water the plants with the rest o my family. We were celebrating my brother, Adam’s birthday. He just turned 8. Now we are the same age! Hes eleven months younger, so for one month each year we are the same age.

When they came to take me, my parents reminded me that I can still win without killing anyone.

I must outsmart them

Cause them to kill themselves.

We have seen it done before. We have seen children trick other children, by leading them to poisonous food or loose tree branches.

They may think I have no chance at winning, because I told them that I will not kill, but I think I can

I know I can.

When they pointed the camera at me, all I said was,

I will not kill, but I will win.

Elizabeth

Profile #123

Name: Elisabeth Sariah Andrews

Age: 13

Home: Alberta, Canada

Chance of survival: 0.49%

Infection Status: CLASSIFIED

They took my sister too. We are identical twins, actually. Her name is Esther. We have seen this many times in the Rally. They always put at least one or two pairs of twins or triplets, as well as siblings.

I cant even imagine what it would be like if I was in a situation where I needed to kill her.

I could never do it.

Hopefully she feels the same way.

We were eating dinner when they took us. My mother screamed and my father yelled even louder. There was nothing they could do.

Hi, im Elisabeth and I am 13 years old. I have a twin sister named esther, she is in the Rally too. I am a strong fighter and I know that I will…

That’s all the time I had…

Lucy

Profile #63

Name: Lucy Ella Franke

Age: 4

Home: New York, USA

Chance of survival: 0.0005%

Infection Status: CLASSIFIED

I know that I am in the Rally. Mommy told me that it could happen.

It makes me sad, because I don’t want to be in the Rally.

I want to go home.

They made me o to sleep and when I woke up they were putting a camera near me. They told me to introduce myself.

I just cried.

Now I don’t know what I need to do. I woke up on a beach. Im just walking around. I tried to make a sandcastle, but it fell down.

PART THREE

THE ANNOUNCEMENT

Every year, at the beginning of the Rally, we must let the children know what to do.

This is done, by giving them the Announcement.

Hello Children,

Congratulations! You are all participants in the 2020 Rally! It is such an honour to have you all here. Thank you for your cooperation.

We know that the past few hours have been difficult for all of you, but the adventure is only beginning!

You are all very lucky. This year, the Rally will be different. We have never had a Rally like this before. Normally, the participants are placed in obstacles or challenges that they must escape. For example, in 2004, he children were all placed in a ginormous maze, full of traps. The objective was to escape. Another year, in 1977, the children were required to retrieve ten hidden objects to escape. Many other years, children had to kill a certain number of other participants to escape. This year, we are combining a bit of everything.

We are pleased to announce. That this year, the name of the Rally is,

THE RALLY: MUTATION GAMES

Similar to the Rally of 1963, we are involving something like an illness.

Brief rules have previously been explained to viewers at home, but we will now give the full rules and explanation of this years games.

There are 200 participants in the Mutation Games this year. All between the ages of 4-14.

One of you has been given a mutation. This mutation was given to you while you are asleep and you do not know if you have it.

The person who has the mutation is very unlucky. In order for thwn to win, they must be the last one alive. All other 199 participants must die before you can win.

Everyone else, is a little bit more lucky. In order to win, you must simply kill the person with the mutation.

Sounds simple, right?

WRONG!

All participants are only allowed to kill five other players. If you kill more, you will immediately be killed by the games coordinators.

Now, you may be asking, how am I supposed to know who to kill than?

You see, the mutation is special. In order to be a MUTATION, it must MUTATE something.

The mutation changes two things about your body.

First, it causes your blood to turn purple.

Second, you will have a small circular mark somewhere on your body. This is all of the information that we will tell you about the mutation, but I am sure there are many things to be discovered in the future.

Unlike the rest of the children, the mutated child is allowed to kill as many people as they want.

Every three days, an announcement, called a Calling will be given. This will supply whoever can complete it with an advantage. The advantages will be revealed later on in the games.

You are in an arena that is the size of British Columbia, Canada. There are plenty of animals and fresh water. But be careful, there are also many raps planted throughout the arena, in places you would not expect.

NOW!!!

LET

THE

GAMES

BEGIN!

PART FOUR

THE MOST UNLUCKY CHILD

RUN!

Run!

Run!

Fall down.

Stand up.

Keep running.

Fall down again.

Climb the tree.

I think he is gone.

They cannot see me up here.

Wait for a long time.

Try to climb down.

Fall down the tree.

Get hurt.

My arm is hurt.

Look at arm.

Purple blood.

PART FIVE

THE FIRST NIGHT

Each night, an announcement is made.

The children are so scared, but the announcement is even scarier.

They find out who died.

And who didn’t.

It is the first night. Here’s what They said.

Hello Children!

Wow! What a fantastic start to the games!!! 17 deaths in the first six hours! What a surprise!

Isn’t that exciting?

We are so proud of you! Good work!

The mutated child has not been killed yet.

For following participants have been killed:

Numbers 23, 24, 67, 89, 90, 99, 100, 107, 111, 124, 125, 130, 135, 137, 147, 178, 199

That’s all of the deaths for today!

Thanks for playing!

Then, it was silent.

It was silent as the children cried.

Many cried, but many were filled with rage. They were going to win and nothing was going to stop them.

PART SIX

THE BIG KIDS

The big kids were really big. They towered over the smaller children. Together, the group of Big Kids had 7 members so far. The group was led by a tall, british boy, named Andrew, who was number 26.

Andrew was a good leader. His chance of survival was 2.88%.

The second highest in the entire game.

Andrew was tough. He would stop at nothing to win.

He gathered other older kids and formed the Big Kids group. Together, they went around capturing younger children, cutting them and checking if their blood was purple. So far they had not seen anything out of the ordinary.

So far, the Big Kids had captured 6 other children.

Andrew was feared and nobody wanted to get in his way. Andrew and the other Big Kids were responsible for 9 of the 17 deaths the night before.

The Big Kids gang consisted of Eden (1), Rook (10), Julia (46), Hans (58), Finley (113),Easton (154), and of course Andrew (26).

Comments & reviews · 4
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User avatar
foxtails
Review

im not usually a reader of spiritual poetry because im not a spiritual person, but this caught my eye for some reason. let's gooooo

your words here beautifully capture devotion & gratitude. for example "your majesty healed my hearts dark night" is a very vivid image. ive noticed that the imagery is very constant throughout though. poetry has ups & downs, twists & turns. your poem could benefit from some lines expanding on theme. a little grease on the hinges never hurt anybody.

the rhyme as well adds a quality to the poem & creates a sense of commitment. it all ties back to the faith element. if im honest, i dont find myself favoring rhyming poetry. to me, it constricts creative freedom. for example, a suggestion would be playing with line breaks to emphasize ideas. that however cant work because youll have to keep the rhyme scheme alive.

this was moving. im not a religious person, but im glad i read this. it gave me a new perspective. keep an eye on your pacing & rhyme though. the theme is clear & powerful, but its the nitty-gritty to watch out for.

envy

Random avatar
deleted46
Review

Hihi! This is my first review so please forgive me. I saw the description and had to eat up this poem! I'm going to keep it short but hopefully, I can give some helpful suggestions and feedback.

I'll start with lil tips/critiques since I don't have many!
With the first 2 stanzas having 4 lines, I think keeping that consistency throughout the poem will improve the flow and composition of the poem. At first glance, it can seem slightly scattered, which can work if the content of the poem matches, but I don't see it fitting much in this one, even though the lines themselves are lovely.
Secondly, the rhyme scheme is inconsistent throughout and is also a factor in disrupting the flow. The -ay rhyme throughout the latter 2/3 of the poem can be redundant, especially when reading the poem aloud. I enjoyed the AABB scheme in the first stanza and think it would have improved the complexity of the poem if the rhyme scheme changed up a bit. Having a stable stanza structure and rhyme pattern can keep your reader truly grasped into your poem!

I enjoy the overarching message of the poem. I think as a fellow believer that this feeling is so relatable and something many Christians can tie themselves to! I think this is a beautiful praise poem that just radiates a type of joy that only comes from Him. This is the type of poem I would love to read more often and create myself, and one day have the courage to share. This is a beautiful piece with a message that sticks to the reader. Since being a follower, I find myself almost more childlike in the way that I go to Him. He is called The Father for a reason. You really hit it on the nail with this one and it makes me want to read your other works and future ones too.

Much Love, Lullaby ♡

User avatar
dragonight9
Review

I love it!

Don't want to misinterpret your work but you totally described how God loves us with this piece so that's how I'm going to view it. I really feel like you were describing a wonderful relationship with a loving father here. Great job! I could really feel the emotion as I read it and the flow was really good.

I really loved the part where you apologised for your brokenness only to realise that He made you in his PERFECT image. Just the way he wanted you.

I like how you changed the font to show that it was you speaking.

Looking at the overall story I feel like you were able to introduce happy/wholesome feelings at the start, have some sad undertones in the middle, and bring me out of that sadness with hope and assurance of a good future.

The one improvement I would point out was that the line "But your presence, unfailing, did stay."
I liked the message here but it felt like it interrupted the flow a little. If you want to convey the message clearly go for it but if you'd like a better flow then try to find different words to convey the message.

The emotion was definitely the strongest point of this poem and the rhyming scheme was good. I hope you keep writing and I'll keep you in mind for the future.

Hiya! This is Orabella here with a quick review.

Wow! You sure are a poetry master. I'm seeing your poetry everywhere! In the forums, on your wall, in the literary center... so many places. And it makes sense, because they're amazing. :D

If I was to critique this, I'd say I feel like the rhyming scheme of "ey" (day, may, sway) is a little too repetitive. There's only a few lines that have their own rhyme scheme or don't rhyme at all. If you wanted to revise, I'd suggest adding a little more variety, but that's just me. I think it works perfectly fine the way it is. :) (And I do really like it)

So, here's my interpretation. There's the main character - I'll refer to them with she/her pronouns to make it simpler, but please correct me if I'm wrong. She loves the person she's addressing. I'll refer to this person with he/him pronouns, again, for simplicity. Please tell me if I'm wrong. I get the feeling that he is royalty because she refers to him as Lord, and also I think your majesty. The child aspect may refer to child-like wonder; not having to deal with serious consequences that often plagues adults. Being a child also means being free in some aspects, or having more time.

Also, as I reread this, I noticed that the majority of the poem is in past tense, except for the last two lines and one stray in the middle. (I think. I'm not very good with tenses.) I find this interesting, and I think it can be interpreted in many different ways.

Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful poem, and don't forget to keep writing!

Oh wait... I'm just rereading your post about this poem, and you said it's about faith. Ohhhhhhh. Okay. My interpretation was totally wrong. Haha... just ignore it.
Was it actually Jesus or God she was addressing?

...or a different religious figure depending on your religion? (Sorry to assume)

I loved the message it had behind it and the use of language you had. Everything flowed really nice together and was really beautiful to read. keep up the great work!!

I think you meant to leave a comment on the work. To do that, you can type in the little box at the top of the comment section. ^^

I think you meant to leave a comment on the work. To do that, you can type in the little box at the top of the comment section. ^^

I think you meant to leave a comment on the work. To do that, you can type in the little box at the top of the comment section. ^^

Oh, oops. Sorry about the repeated message. I did that on accident.



clpck
— Hop (Trying to Spell "clock")