A Quiet Path

Hey Daniel,
Sometimes, I can be very critical of poetry, and this is one of those times xD.

The trees have lost their green
the trees have lost their leaves The rhyme is okay, I guess you could leave it.
the wind blows cool again
I feel young again. Yeah, two "again"s bothers me a bit.

Leaves crackle beneath my feet
I march to my own secret beat I don't know what you are saying here. It seems a bit out of place in a poem that deals with sadness.
on this beaten path I feel alone
I am filled with a solitude not my own. This is a little awkward and hard to understand. I think you should reword this.

The sun begins to set
a burning beacon in the sky
a fireball extinguishing in the sky
warns me that the night is nigh. You changed your rhyme scheme here, but I guess that's not that big a deal.

I leave my secret forest path
solitude I no longer have
I return to the cold cruel steel
of a world that isn't real.

First off, I like it! It overall flowed nicely and it displays a clear mental image. While it is a bit confusing, I think one of the main points of poetry is the specific meanings it expresses to different readers. And if for some it doesn't make sense, that's okay!

A few critiques I can make is that you might want to try adding a comma here and there, just to soften the beat a bit. And you also repeated words a few times, and to help it have a sweeter ring to it you might want to try looking for a synonym, or to try and state your point a different way? Like in,

The trees have lost their green
the trees have lost their leaves

burning beacon in the sky
a fireball extinguishing in the sky

The trees have lost their green
the trees have lost their leaves
the wind blows cool again
I feel young again.I don't like the whole two agains in one sentence.

Leaves crackle beneath my feet
I march to my own secret beat
on this beaten path I feel alone
I am filled with a solitude not my own.Huh? That doesn't make sense, even in the world of mostly confusing poetry.

The sun begins to set
a burning beacon in the sky
a fireball extinguishing in the sky
warns me that the night is nigh.Still confusing.

I leave my secret forest path
solitude I no longer have
I return to the cold cruel steel
of a world that isn't real.Best stanza in the whole poem.

I really don't see any thing wrong with this. Aside from missing punctuation in some places... It has a nice rhythm and flow to it, and it was easy to imagine everything.. which I liked. I thought it was really good.