Afraid of the dark

I love the idea you had here! I can't find any mistakes except one. I will tell you that later. But I just love how Mrac is scared at night and how he hears sounds at night. I understand his confusion at how in the end he never saw his mum again. But the way you wrote it you let the reader guess what has happened without actually writing it which I find is very clever! A very good talent to have.

Your mistake:

Adriana wrote:Marc threw his blankets to the ground and run to embrace her. Only then did he see she was all dirty from a thick, dark some liquid. She smelled.

He woke up in the middle of the cold night on March 9 as if someone had just screamed in his ear. The description on this sentence was very long, sort of lost my concentration, I don’t know but I guess you could delete March 9.
…………and the wind [i[blew [/i]out of the clouds I donno how much sense wind from the clouds mean, I didn’t understand you here. making some strange noises through the entire house.. double full stop, typing error:D & ‘making strange noises through out the house I guess makes better sense
…………He wanted to scream, but could just whisper, as if a scream would give away his position to the monster outside. You could not make this alteration but it flows better this way- btw, I liked this statement- really well
……..because of that his mother, Sarah, went down. Specify went down. Your description all along was very nicely done, putting this flow I really liked
…………..The only thing that helped Marc was his sister Jane, a sweet 18 year old girl. – this portion sounds odd, particularly the age being mentioned
…………..It was then that he heard a super loud noise. super loud- super is not the perfect word, use very loud or sth, super is too – informal
…………….. “Marc, it's ok sweetie” I think we spell as okay, or maybe there’s a difference in American and British English
Marc threw his blankets to the ground and runran- you just changed the grammar tense in this sentence to embrace her. Only then did he see she was all dirty from a thick, dark some liquid. She smelled. she smelled- altered the word smell for other synonyms
“It’s ok now, buddy. my stomach knotted up, what? She killed her mom? Omg, I’m virtually scared
He still doesn't know what was that liquid on Jane or why after that scene in his bedroom, as soon as the rain stopped, Jane said she needed to cave. she needed to cave? I didn’\t understand this part. He decided it just didn’t matter. After all he was happy. overall, flow, imagery and description was good. Thanks for your review on Music and Disparity- I actually have like a file ‘Music and….’ About music and the emotions that it inspires in us (As my poems were inspired by the songs) I like the way you write and I wish I get to read more of you- btw, I gave you a follow- nice to see some foreigners around (as in I’m a foreigner too right?)

He woke up in the middle of the cold night in on March, 9 as if someone had just screamed in his ear.

The cold air was freezing his window and the wind blow blew out of the clouds making some strange noises through the entire house. Noises that were even worse than his child imagination.

“Mom”

When he was just 4 years old, his father left to live with another woman.[/b and Because of that his mother, Sarah, went down.

with [b]bear and a strange kind of cigarette.

The only thing that helped Marc was his sister, Jane, an 18 year old sweet girl.

Jane slept on in the bedroom next to his, and somehow always knew when Marc was up and afraid.

It was then that he heard a super loud noise.

The noise stopped. He could hear steps outside his door.

Now all[/b[ Marc could [b]do was just pray for it not to hurt so much.

“Marc, that’s it’s ok, sweetie”

Marc threw his blankets to the ground and run ran to embrace her.

Only then he saw she was all dirty. A thick, dark some sort of liquid was all over Jane, and she smelled.

“It’s ok now, buddy. She won’t spank you anymore. I’m gonna going to take care of you now, and I promise you’ll be the happiest kid in the world”

He still didn’t know what was that liquid in on]/b] Jane or why after that scene in his bedroom, as soon as the rain stopped, Jane said she needed to [b]cave.

Overall, AMAZING PLOT!!!! I like the way it was written and when you introduced new details and characters. However........ there is a A LOT of grammatical errors. I'll try to help as much as I can but i could have missed some. My corrections are in red

Adriana wrote:Just like every other child, Marc Jeffrey was afraid of the dark. He woke up in the middle of the cold night on March 9 as if someone had just screamed in his ear.
It was raining outside. The cold air was freezing his window and the wind blow out of the clouds making some strange noises through the entire house, noises that were even worse than that ofhis child imagination.
“Mom”
He wanted to scream, but could just whisper, as if a scream would give his position to the monster outside.
“Mom, please.”
Marc’s life was always surrounded by fear. When he was just 4 years old, his father left to live with another woman and because of that his mother, Sarah, went down. They lived only with the small pension his father sent every month because Sarah spent her money on beer and strange cigarettes.
The only thing that helped Marc was his sister Jane, a sweet 18 year old girl.
Jane slept in the bedroom next to his and somehow always knew when Marc was up and afraid. But today she was not coming.
“Please, Jane, come in here”, he continued to whisper.
It was then that he heard a super loud noise. It sounded like the noise his mother always made when she arrived home drunk. When she threw things at the wall. Marc learned that every time she did that, she spanked him. He tried to hide underneath his blankets.
“Jane, she is coming”
The noise stopped. He could hear steps outside his door.
“It’s her. She is drunk, Jane. Help me”
Someone opened the door. Now Marc could only pray for it not to hurt so much.
“Marc, it's ok sweetie”
It was Jane.
Marc threw his blankets to the ground and run to embrace her. Only then did he see she was all dirtyfrom a thick, dark some liquid. She smelled.
“What is it?”
Jane smiled at him and put his hair behind his ear.
“It’s ok now, buddy. She won’t spank you anymore. I’m gonna take care of you now and I promise you will be the happiest kid in the world”
For some reason Marc never saw his mom after that. He still doesn't know what was that liquid in Jane or why after that scene in his bedroom, as soon as the rain stopped, Jane said she needed to cave. He decided it just didn’t matter. After all he was happy.