Published September 26, 2011
The tick tock of the clock
teases me
My hands tremble quake nothing eases me
Sweat forms streams in the
lines of my hands
My throat croaks dry as dessert
land sands
Its all too much to bare
Commanding nature with the motion of his hair
The trees bow to him in the winds of Spring
The tweeting birds praise him as they sing
His eyes look into the depths of my soul
hair as dark as coal
lips soft, inviting
face as delicate as ancient writing
His hands touch mine
The desert and sea intertwine
Ice cold my hands melt
Touch soft as velvet
His eyes send me to a world of my own
No work, troubles and we're all alone
My heart boom boom basing
My mind quietly racing
Slowly he leans in like Pisa
Staring like I would pizza
Fireworks go off in my heart
Shooting stars across the sky
Wishing we'd never part
Dreading the words good-bye
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140,588 Literary Works • 673,542 Reviews
This is decent, it's got some good imagery and figurative writing. There are just a few things:
Desert, one s.Bare should be "bear." "Bare" means...naked, ooh la la!
This line is majorly cliched. Out with it! It's way overused.
If you delete the comma after "work" and add an "or" instead, this line will be clearer - right now it almost sounds like there is no work but there ARE troubles, and I think you meant there are no work OR troubles. Also, there should be an extra s in "basing" - "bassing" - which isn't really a word, but I assume you meant "bass" like "bass drum" or "bass guitar," not "base" like "first base."
This line just doesn't really make sense. I assume you mean he leans in like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, but what the heck is with the "pizza" line? Trying to hard for a rhyme, that's what's with it. So, he's staring at you like you would at pizza? That's what I get out of this line, and to be frank that's not very good. I mean, I wouldn't want my boyfriend to stare at me the way I stare at pizza. Really.
So, I hope that helped. Welcome to the site!
~Blue
Wow!
And i must congratulate youu, caus ei dont usually read poems with that sort of structure -__- But yours was... Mind blowing! ^^ LoL. 
I Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooved this poem!!
I loved the emotions, the way ANYONE can i dentify with it!
Keep writing!