I can not really say a lots for this, mostly because I am no good with lyrics and the shortest types of writings and also because I think the work is too short to have something so long to tell about it.
I tried to sing this in very different ways and tones, maybe changed the speed of how I read the lines also but times to times it was not flowing very well. I am not a pro into writing this specific 'way' but I think it needs the double check. Anyways, you are new so before I forget what I needed to start this very short review with, welcome to YWS and hope you improve and like it here. Everyone is different so we expect to see something different each time someone new posts their first work, this way we understand a bit about the author and their own style.
I hope to see more of you and your improvement. I do not know if you will be writing only lyrics which I do not review but maybe I need a bit of a change also.
Before I end the review, the fourth line has a bit of a mistake. Payed needs to be paid.
Points: 21027
Reviews: 485
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