Just something I whipped up in two seconds during class (which is on right now)
Spirituality and reality
Bounding the sea of thoughts
Someone makes a potty joke
Which my subconscious rejects
And my mind reflects.
And as though
All the fiction in the world were real
Life presents itself
As unepic, obscure, lame
The world is a paradox
Boring is my chicken pox
Trashcans have memories
Of homeless, strangers, people
All the world looks down upon
Consuming the endless ocean of thoughts
Into a pond of reality
Which eventually dries up into a drop of creativity
It gets evaporated into rain
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Canary word: Present
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,844 Reviews
Adam! I thought you said you didn't write poetry?! This is... wow.
(or so you say 
)
From a couple of the lines and the fact that you said you're not into poetry, and that you wrote this in class, I wondered how much you took it seriously, but whether you did or not, it's a great piece!
Those two lines though: "someone makes a potty joke"
Not unheard of language even in more formal modern poetry, buuut... I wonder if there might be a more... refined way of phrasing that? The thing I have to say I liked about it is that the first two lines are so dreamy and vague and this line is like a jolt of reality, like yanking us out of a daydream. "Potty" joke sounds like a 5 year olds vocabulary, you know?
And the other line that immediately stuck out was:
"Boring is my chicken pox"
Just the rhyme you have there "paradox and pox" sounds forced, and I'm not sure what you were going for with that one rhyme stuck in there, but chicken pox doesn't really seem to have anything to do with... anything. =)
The rest of this, content-wise, is... I was very pleasantly surprised. =)
There are a few things I would spruce up.
Firstly, I would take out that period at the line "And my mind reflects". Because it's the only period in the whole piece, and I like this piece without punctuation.
"Of homeless, strangers, people" I don't really know what the purpose is for those commas, why you have two of them.
"As unepic, obscure, lame" I wonder if dashes might do better in place of those commas since you don't use a conjuction in the list. It's more of a personal preference of mine; but I think it might make it read more clearly?
"Into a pond of reality
Which eventually dries up into a drop of creativity
It gets evaporated into rain"
These lines are pure genius. Jaw-dropping genius. Apart from a slight grammatical change I'd make
Maybe instead of "It gets evaporated into rain" I would do "Which eventually dries up into a drop of creativity / evaporating into rain" or something that keeps it in the same sentence as the line above it.
I loved this piece, I really did. =) What a shame you don't like writing poetry that much.