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God's tears...

by Acid_Fairy

When I was little I used to think the clouds were big balls of cotton wool that god put in the sky. I thought that rain was God’s tears. I wondered why he cried so much in England, while his smile made the world warm in other places.

It was strange I thought that no matter how far you ran you could never catch the edge of a rainbow. I loved rainbows. They always made me smile. When I saw birds flying I used to think how lucky they were to be able to touch the sky. Touch all the colours of the rainbow. I thought of their wings skimming the surface and making ripples, just like the sea.

My cousins and I would spend hours throwing stones as high as we could then squinting to sea if they would make ripples in the sky. I think maybe somewhere deep down I knew there was no chance, but believed anyway. It’s funny what you think.

When the sun’s rays poured in through the window, I could almost see God fingers were reaching in trying to touch us. I thought how lonely it must be up there. Sitting for all of time.

Time. The word gave me a strange feeling. That even when we are all gone. The stars, planets and universes-time will still go on. Even if it only exists in an inky blackness of nothing.

How I was told that God was everywhere. That he was with us all the time. I could never get my head round that. That God could be with me sitting in church, then at home with me too.

The older i got, the more i had to look around me and take things in. I couldn't rely on other people's stories. Memories. Imaginings. And in the end I realised that God was always crying. And his tears always fell on us...

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354 Reviews

Points: 29155
Reviews: 354

Fri Sep 06, 2019 6:08 am
EditorAndPerks wrote a review...

Hey there! I figured I would stop by and give you some feedback on this short story of yours! Since this, in fact, is a true short story itself, I am not sure how much help I can provide, past this being fourteen years old without a second review, but no matter. This is Review Month and I strive to send help any way I can.

First off, I really think this is an interesting reflection piece. All of these different comparisons add a twist to a normally stock-piled landscape with plenty of descriptive "I used to believe this ..." stories across the internet. The religious aspect also brings forward another flavor that adds to the idea of this young person gazing up from their home at the world wondering how things worked. I am not a religious person myself but it does seem that religion or believing in something can bring a kind of magic to the daily life if those beliefs are positive ones. I'm happy that enriched your observations of clouds and the weather.

Past that, I kind of wished the reader got more of all of these short, quick events - talking about more things that just sight with the clouds and envying the birds touching the sky. If you were interested in going back all the way back to this person's younger self, then that could seem quite cool in going over what could have been circling through this kid's mind, what they could have smelled, imagined they could feel a cloud, if that line of thought makes sense. I really do like being able to dive into these scenes as well and go through the changes this person experienced as they aged.

Lastly, I missed the figurative language in the last paragraph - while I did like the direct reflection, I think I would have rather left it to simply going over one last message that the now older person could have gone over. Especially since they acknowledge that they've become disillusioned partially to what they can rely on, I wanted some of that initial magic that started this whole story off. Not to mention that I was curious if you could link every part of God to different events, as you did with His tears and His fingers at different points. That could be something to consider if you ever return to this piece.

Overall, I think this was an interesting piece to read over, as this reads almost like a prose poem instead of a short story. There were plenty of things that could be reflected on later even just by the reader themselves - the clouds, the sky, the rocks, the tears. One thing I would recommend would hover over either more moments in general as this ends a little abruptly and drops from the imagery quickly by the last could of paragraphs, or to perhaps expand on a couple of specific scenes to really bring out tangible feelings the person in question might have felt at that time.

Nicely done even a whole decade old! See ya.

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67 Reviews

Points: 2314
Reviews: 67

Fri Dec 09, 2011 12:13 am
AlfonsoFernandez wrote a review...

I like the story, although I find it really deep and even a little depressing. But I like how you explained rain, and thought about rainbows. Although I found a couple of spelling mistakes:

My cousins and I would spend hours throwing stones as high as we could then squinting to sea if they would make ripples in the sky.
You wrote sea, when it should be see. And I wonder, didn't they ever come back to you and hit you? But I know this is just a story so whatever.
I could never get my head round that.
I think that the correct way to say it is around that instead of round that.
And finally:
The older i got, the more i had to look around me and take things in.
You didn't capitalize the "I"s, and they always should. I guess you just didn't notice.
Anyway, nice!
:D :lol:

If it wasn't for poetry, I couldn't express myself.
— Rosendorn