The Three Times I Fell in Love(Past, Present, and Future)
Past- The first time I fell in love came to me as a surprise. It was unexpected, and in the beginning, unwelcome. But with time, I welcomed the feelings and dreamt of a day when I could make me feelings know without the consequence of a broken heart. That day, again unexpectedly, soon came. I remember the day clearly although it was ages ago. My first kiss… You don’t forget something like that.
Interlude- My Wrinkle In Time( When The Past and Present Meet)- My first love and my now or second love know each other. Have dated each other even. I was in love with one when I infatuated with the other. I still feel bad about it because the previous feelings of love still linger…
Present- This time it was not a surprise. Considering the fact that I feel everything so deeply. And of course, I am yet again in love with someone who doesn’t love me back. There are mutual feelings of attraction, which is the surprising part. But the love… That feeling is unknown to her.
Future- To my future love, whether you be a boy or girl, I hope that you love me as much as I love you. And maybe, just maybe, we’ll be in love and happy together… But for now, even though we may be far apart and not truly aware of the other’s existence, I hope that you are safe and happy. Until we meet…
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Canary word: Present
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125,009 Literary Works • 672,837 Reviews
This is Atsmai here for a review!
First off, I like the format that you used. It's kind of choppy with the flow somehow. I just don't feel like you're conveying this right. You're just telling us about the times you/they fell in love and how you felt about them but I don't feel like there's any meat on the bone of this short story here. I just don't feel anything from this. From the future love thing, I don't feel like you added anything special or new to it.
You could add a spin to this, and maybe even make all four parts poetry. I could see this as poetry as how you saw it coming in the present and how you watched the past and present loves meet.
That's just my opinion on this.
Have a great day!
I love the format you used to write it! I found that even though it was short all the different parts seemed to tell a story of their own. It had a really good ending, and it seemed very efficient to me. It definitely describes love in a very realistic and descriptive way.
This was written very well. The feelings and experiences of love are sometimes hard to express, and you have expressed your feelings well without making it too confusing. I am sure that others have gone through similar experiences, myself being one for example. The emotion and complexity of love can be confusing, and frustrating when you are in love with someone, but that person is not. Hopefully going through those situations, you can help advise others from making mistakes, and you can learn too.
It reminds me of a book called TEMPTED