Alone

It's a good piece, but for starters, I would consider adding stanzas for more structure/aesthetic appeal. The rhyme you used is perfect, and the story behind the piece is also very well conveyed. However, I would try dragging things out or using different descriptions to try to add more emotion to the piece. I'm extremely fond of the first two lines "I thought it was a good night, / But I never thought fate was coming to me." Those are two very strong lines that work great together and are a great opening sentence. I think with a bit of revision, you could make this great poem even better, but it really is amazing.

It's a good piece, but for starters, I would consider adding stanzas for more structure/aesthetic appeal. The rhyme you used is perfect, and the story behind the piece is also very well conveyed. However, I would try dragging things out or using different descriptions to try to add more emotion to the piece. I'm extremely fond of the first two lines "I thought it was a good night, / But I never thought fate was coming to me." Those are two very strong lines that work great together and are a great opening sentence. I think with a bit of revision, you could make this great poem even better, but it really is amazing.

Hey... Sharon1407 here for a review... I see that you wanted to project the subject here as a person who is depressed. But what the poem really needs is first, good wording. Like instead of "thought" use "imagined", not "hole" but "pit", etc. If you read the poem once more in this respect, I think you shall be able to understand. Second, it needs grammatical changes like fate comes "at" you not "to" you; "absolute" darkness works better than "sheer" darkness. Third, it needs better flow. I see you have tried to maintain some rhyme scheme here but wasn't very successful. I would suggest that when you are dealing with topics as intense as depression, you write it in blank verse so that your genuine emotions do not get obstructed by the rhyming factor. Fourth, the three lines -
"Not even hearing a dog bark.

Now I am as blind as a bat,

And silent as a bat." - need to be changed because they do not go with theme at all. And, I think again, that blank verse shall solve this problem. Fifth, I loved one of the lines - "I am the only" and I suggest you keep this line as it is in some part of the poem, if you decide to edit the work. Feel free to notify me if you do so and I am sure with editing and insertion of a little more of expression, this poem can be a standout. Also, be sure to change the title in this case. Thank you

Hello? Wow. That is a PERFECT work of art. Someone else might dispute this but well, I think that young writers society is a large community of people who appreciate literal art with different VIEWS. Inakubalika( That is accepted). It has been a long time since I logged in to my account. I am glad that the spirit is still burning around here.
The poem has portrayed the theme of loneliness perfectly. Each line "prepares the way" for the subsequent line and each subsequent line confirms and builds on the idea portrayed by the previous line.

It was only dark,

No shriek,

No creek

I never fretted,

But regretted.