I don't know what to do. Not that I care anymore.
"It's very deep", I looked downwards and thought.
That's it. I've made up my mind. I'm going to jump.
I took a second look. Then I took a third look. Oh no, someone's watching from the other side. It's just a kid. I waved at her. She waved back at me.
What will I do? How can I say 'this'?
If dad knows that I've done something like 'this', he'll have a heart attack. And mom will kill me. The society will reject me. And I'll have nowhere to go.
How can I show my face if 'it' becomes known? 'It' means 'it'. You don't have to know further, got it?
I'll just die. Nobody will know, not even you.
"It's a hard decision, I know."
I know what she's thinking. She turned back, being surprised. I was standing at her right, a few metres away from her.
She's scared, no doubt. She's lost. She's in despair. She's in pain. You don't need to be a psychologist to see that.
The girl searched for words.
"Who are you?"
"Someone; a human; a boy, if you prefer."
"How did you know what I was going to do?"
"It's simple. Nobody looks downwards multiple times for no reason. Besides, you come here almost every night. Isn't it obvious that you're planning to do something great?"
The last line sounded corny, I know. I didn't find anything better to say.
"So, what's your decision?"
She didn't answer. Rather, she asked back, "Are you trying to stop me?"
The boy, with a smile, bluntly replied, "Nah, I just wanted to have a chat with you, that's all. I don't have anyone to talk to these days. So, I'm feeling kinda lonely."
The girl, being surprised at such a reply, asked, "Seriously, you're not here to stop me?"
"Why would I? It's your life; you can do whatever you want with it."
I was taken aback by his 'brutally honest' response. He's freaking me out. His gaze was cold. His voice was calm. And his pace was composed and calculated. He slowly came closer to me and asked, "But won't you have some time to spare for me?"
What am I going to say? He's a total stranger to me.
"I don't know. But.... I think I can give you some time."
"Thank you very much, you see," he proceeded to point at the sky and asked, "Isn't the weather charming today? It's a bit cold, though. Just look at the moon, shining with all it's glory unraveled."
Yes, today's a full moon. I can see that.
"If you look closely, you'll be able to see different things on the moon."
What's he saying? I thought he was going to say something important. Oh right, he said that he 'just wanted to have a chat' with me. Is that what he meant?
The girl kept silent while the boy continued to talk all by himself. The situation continued fo quite some time, until the boy came to realize that he was engaged in nothing but a vague soliloquy.
"Oh, I'm extremely sorry. It looks like I've been bothering you."
Extending his arm towards the edge of the roof in a very polite manner, the boy said, "Please go ahead."
The girl was utterly shocked to see the emotional bluntness of the boy. Is he unable to read the situation or what?
The boy said with a cute smile, "Go ahead. I won't bother you anymore."
The girl struggled to find a word to say.
"What? You mean -"
"Or rather," the boy said, "Let me finish the job for you."
Saying this, he produced a sharp knife from beneath his t-shirt. His face changed into a devil's face. With a villainous smile he said, "Stand still, this will only hurt a little."
This is a report from The Daily Gujantor, translated from Bangla,
"... Police suspect that the incident might have been a suicide. Primary investigations reveal that the girl was planning the suicide for a long time. According to the neighbors, she was acting abnormally since the last couple of weeks. She used to frequent the roof since the last month, mostly during night. However, it remains a mystery as to why no one noticed her potentially suicidal behavior all this time."
An elderly gentleman was reading out this text, loud enough for her almost blind wife to hear. Sipping a cup of tea, the old man asked nobody in particular, "What drives them to kill themselves in this fashion?"