E - Everyone

Another Day In Someone's Life- Part 1

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Tick tock, tick tock ,tick tock the clock went. It kept ticking, tocking, and making all of these unnecessary noises. This was so frustrating that I could just throw my stupid homework across the room. But of course I wouldn’t do that. This homework would decide if I was smart enough to move onto 8th grade. I personally thought it was idiotic to judge someone’s intelligence by their homework. As Albert Einstein oncesaid,“Everybody is a genius. Butif you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

Then I set down my impossible homework and picked up my drawing pad. I had been doodling and sketching for years now, and it always found a way to sooth me,oddly. I decided on drawing a girl. A girl with long, curly hair blowing in the wind, a long sundress fluttering, and a giant sun hat threatening to blow awayin the frozen wind. It seemed perfect, and if I made it just right, it’d be so cute, fun, and bubbly like all my other stress-relieving doodles.

What would this girl’s story be? I thought while gently tracing the girl’s huge eyes and large, circular glasses. She’d be 12, I decided. She was from Louisiana and loved to read by the beach, letting the waves wash over her bare feet. She’d be named… Serenity. Serenity appeared to come to life, the colors I had slathered over her becoming lively and vivid. Her eyes blinked, long eyelashes close to tickling her freckled cheeks. Then I began to actually care for her, as if she was an alive human.

Serenity seemed lonely; the only thing on the page was her. I drew in cat that looked like a stuffed animal, purring contently on her shoulder. I added a small beach in the background, the waves rolling over one another, attempting to be the first one to touch the sand.

I halted and dropped the colored pencil I was using to illustrate the said waves. I had let myself sink in too far again. I had allowed myself to care for another fictional character I had drawn on paper. I slipped out of my chair and room. I trotted down the stairs, skipping over the creaky ones. I peeked into my tiny kitchen. No one was there.

I pushed a chair against the counter and gingerly stepped onto the counter. I blindly swished my hand around on the top of the cabinets. I felt myself touch something smooth and I heard a soft tink. Aha, there it was. I pulled down the cookie jar and immediately stuck my hand inside, searching for the good cookies on the bottom. I pulled out one, and silently placed the jar back where my parents had uselessly hid it. The good cookies, in my opinion, were the oatmeal cookies with white, milk, and dark chocolate chips. I sunk my teeth into the delicious homemade treat, savoring the smooth taste.

I tiptoed back up the stairs, hoping nobody would be waked. Once I reached my room, I slowly shut the door.My room wasn’t anything special. There was a single poster that read “GOAL!” a simple wood desk from Ikea, a twin-sized bed, and a nightstand with a depressingly plain lamp. The only I particularly liked about the room was the good-sized window. I sat on the windowsill and stared into the sky. The window had nearly always allowed me to stare into the moon and the stars perfectly. No roofs blocked my view.

The stars twinkled and shimmered.They appeared to be so close, so close I could just jump out my window and snatch one right out of the sky. I wistfully gazed out the piece of glass,hoping for an event that would brighten up my bland life. But then the moon seemed to look right at me and sternly say, don’t you worry, Michelle, soon something will happen. And I believed that with all my heart. Then I fell asleep.

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
anniegirl123
Review

It was good! There were a few grammar mistakes such as in the beginning where you forgot a few spaces. Also I liked that quote by Albert Einstein you put in, it fit the story and was a pretty funny quote but made sense. I can relate to Michelle in her love to draw too... Your writing did a good job of making a plain character seem not so plain and special. Your descriptions of her drawing also made it really easy to picture it in my mind.
You also did a really good job of making Michelle seem like the kid she is without making her overly mature or childish, and I especially liked that last part. It made her seem innocent like a kid is supposed to be in hoping that something would happen.

User avatar
ChimeraMania
Review

I agree with everything @Hannawrites wrote, this was magical, peaceful, and vivid. When I read that quote I was like....Whoa. It fit so perfectly, I loved it.
Okay, so just a few mistakes here and there. The first one I noticed was by the quote. You didn't space the words once & said, and then again at But & if. Then again at door. & My.
Then there was a spelling mistakes, at least I hope you mean (hoping nobody would wake) or (hoping nobody would be awoken) instead of waked. I don't know, they just seem better fitting to me than waked.
Just make sure you space out your words and this will be perfect. Oh and just a simple note, when you do use a quote like that it's best to use single quotation marks instead of double. I know it said it, but this still a quote that once was said and not being said. I hope that didn't confuse you.
Anyway, Like Hannawrites, I would love to read more of this. I love how he gave the girl a back story, that was beautiful. I'm wondering now what the moon is talking about.

Thank you! I wrote this in Microsoft Word and I copy and pasted it, and then many of the spaces just kind of went away. I tried to fix it all, but I knew I'd forget some. And I will use single quotations, thanks for telling me. :D

You're welcome and yeah I get that something except it's with a new paragraph. (On wattpad) I type it on my google drive and copy and paste it and all my paragraphs become one long thing and I have to go through and change it to how it was. (I actually just did that a minute ago.)

Random avatar
Hannawrites
Review

This story is short sweet and full of whimsy. I love the idea of "I halted and dropped the colored pencil I was using to illustrate the said waves. I had let myself sink in too far again. I had allowed myself to care for another fictional character I had drawn on paper." It made me think of a young girl who often walks the path of dreamland and get lost, I think that you could develop this into a solid short story with a little more plot and some extra characters. I love the way you described the ocean as well "I added a small beach in the background, the waves rolling over one another, attempting to be the first one to touch the sand." Such beautiful imagery.
Really liked this story will be looking forward to more!
--Hanna

Thank you so much! I'll try to update as often as possible. Thanks for the suggestion, but for now I'll stick with whatever I'm doing now. Thanks again! :)



The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.
— H. L. Mencken