[center]Romance
Romance is a fariytale with
love
or hope
even curiosity
Romance is a goodnights dream
of bliss
also wish
and ever lasting
Romance is a world
of lies
and hate
and longing hearts
Romance is a undefined force
for one and for all
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,855 Reviews
Hello there, Arby!
First of all, welcome to YWS. It seems that you're a new member here, if I'm right.
I like your unique style of writing this poem. The flow's good. It's very interesting. It could've been better though if you choose words that portrays more about "Romance".
"even curiosity" This line's okay but you can change it to another word. I don't know but there's really something wrong in here. Anyway, it's just a suggestion.
The font color compliments the poem, btw.
Keep writing!
Peace out!
Hey Ashley! I haven't seen you since you got off the bus yesterday! What have you been up to?
+(I love this smiley!)
Anyway, I liked your poem! I didn't know you wrote poetry!
I love how it all sort of stayed on topic and flowed together. Wow. You even misspell stuff when there's a spell checker. *Caryon
Overall, it's a really good poem. Personally, I find nothing wrong with it except for your little errors. Keep writing! You'll have to show me some of your writing on the bus one day! I'll see you on Monday!
I did like it! It was really quite good and somewhat unique. The only part I didn't like (I don't know why though... and it's only opinion) was "also wish,".
That part set me off for an undefined reason...I can't say why though. The second stanza is alright, but it could use some modification in general...
Deciding on a pattern is good. Sticking with it is also good. Alas, that is not always enough. What you've got here is, pretty much, a list of words which may more or less loosely be associated with the concept of romance. Which, again, is fine. Or at least, would be if you perhaps expanded a little on it, or played with the concepts, or did something other than just arrange them in neat order of increasing length.
I agree that this poem developed an interesting pattern.
Nitpicks: in line one, "fariytale" should be fairytale.
in the second line from the end, "Romance is a undefined force" should be "Romance is AN undefined
force".
I also feel that the second stanza is worded somewhat strangely, more specifically the lines that begin,"also wish and ever lasting." It just doesn't flow well. I suggest re-wording in way that would still let you keep the stair pattern.
Interesting poem. The title of the poem definitely suits the poem, because the start of every stanza was "romance is....." It actually is a pretty good poem, but I found it a little repetative, because of the "romance is..." part. It also really doesn't have that unique factor that makes the readers remember the poem after a couple minutes. Howevver, I did like how you kind of developed a pattern with the first three stanzas. The first line just says what romance is, but the next three lines create a stair pattern. Kinda cool.
Keep on writing!
-Jane