Jesters dance
To please the king
Jesters fall, not to his remorse
"Toss in another," the king would call
And then laugh as Jack would fall.
Jack would pick himself up with a flourish
And execute another roll.
Day after day, year after year.
Until Jack the jester, was the last one there.
"Juggle this" the king would cry,
Pointing to a raspberry Pie.
The jester would nod,
And the pie would fly.
"Juggle that!
And so the knife flew
Spinning in the sky.
The king watched
Waiting for Jack to fail
But, Jack caught the knife,
And pranced to the air
Spinning once,
And rolling down.
Bringing the blade up,
And severing his crown.
The king's head,
Mouth still open in surprise,
Rolled from his neck,
And fell to his feet.
And Jack the jester
Took one final bow,
Laughing at the kings broken crown.
"The king has fallen, the tyrant is down," he called
As he danced out of the castle
Cheers thrown to the sky,
As the people of the castle
Burned the castle down.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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I like the story. It's very clever and original. The rhyming is a little off and it makes it hard to concentrate on what's going. It'll rhyme in random places and sometimes not rhyme at all. Your grammar is just fine. I couldn't find any mistakes with it. All in all I liked it, but you might want to see if you could try to make it rhyme better. Take some time and play around with it, but keep the original copy in case you don't like what comes out.
Hi ANADIR,Dark with review!
Quite an interesting poem here. Along with narrative elements that help the reader understand the 'plot' of this poem.
Your poem is actually like a Epic Poems .An epic is a long and narrative poem that normally tells a story about a hero or an adventure.
The story is about Jester's dance that has toppled the throne of the king.
The descriptions on the actions is totally amazing;
I enjoyed reading your poem here
Keep it up!
Kudos,cheers
Dark
Thanks!!
WOW Thats was amazing Never throught i would read something like that
Really good for a 13 year old
Best i have seen yet
I like how it has the story Between it Most Poertry Don't appel it me
So it was a nice read
Blew my mind
Keep it going!