Do you believe in life?

Hello there. I'm Ehte here for the review. I really liked your poem. It has a perfect flow and i enjoyed reading it right from the start up to the end of it. The rhyme gets off at places but it can be corrected if you want to edit it. You use periods a lot; there is no need of more than one period at end of a line. There are some nitpicks in here which i would point out.

Do you believe in life? A good start.
Or do you believe in one after?
Do you believe its right?
To call failure a disaster?

Do you have enough faith?
Or do you just wait?
Do you run away from fears?
When it's time to face? A very good stanza but the rhyme was off over here or was it intentional?



Can you hold a hand? Can you hold hands?
And stick to that belief..
Can you call a friend?
And,not runaway in need.. Does not sound good. Reword.

Can I see those eyes?
When your trying to be nicer.. When you're trying to be nice.
Can you show me the way?
When i believe your the Saviour.. When I believe you’re the Savior.


Am I exaggerating?
When I beg for a relief..
Am I not weeping?
When it's too late to just grieve.. Again here, the rhythm was off.

Am I just a toddler? Try something other than toddler.
That i don't understand.. That I do not understand.
Am I just a gangster? Gangster?
That i destroy my friends..



I'm tired and lonely..
The road is too long..
When I asked for company..
They said the path was wrong.. Who is they over here?

I'm sick and lost..
This road is too empty.. This road is empty.
Should i ask someone.. Should I ask someone?
If they'd like to guide..



Are you scared?
I'm not.. But, I'm not to be blocked! Does not sound good. Try something other than blocked.
I'm gonna find the answers.. I'm going to find the answers.
Even after death is sought! Even if death is sought.

I'll continue writing..
Even when the book is finished!
I promise i won't stop fighting..
Until my goal is reached!


And, my ashes will be there..
A grave.. Could not quite get these lines.
And it's keeper!
I will still seek the truth..
For there is better faith..
When I'm deeper!

This is a really good poem I even pm ed you though whatever it says you can probly ignore because Its late and Im half asleep but other than that

I will still seek the truth..
For there is better faith..
When i'm deeper![/flash]

this is really good ! i was engaged after reading the first paragraph
you have heaps of talent, so keep writing and never give up

I find it shocking that no one has reviewed this yet. I enjoyed reading it while at some points it rhymed it had no definite rhyme scheme and quite frankly I feel it takes away from a poem to give it one. I don't have any critiques I don't write much poetry and what I do write I hate so I fine myself unqualified to judge this excellent piece of poetry.