Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Horizontal shafts of rain muddied the sky, lightning blitzing through them like electric probes. Morris stumbled through the storm, the waves that splashed aboard the boat hugging his ankles. He braced himself to the shadows and hindered his back to the wall as he slowly walked flush alongside it. He looked at the North Star, submissively distracting his attention as he marveled the especial large size of it that night. Suddenly, heart slammed to a stop, lips paralyzed, he realized what he just did. He stepped into the wash of a carriage lamp that hung under the cement awning guarding the recessed double-doors. Boots then rounded the corner. A man stood barring Morris’ only exit. Their focuses were riveted on each other.
Ooooh this is a very intense start here on chapter. First of all I love the way you set the scene here. It establishes the mood perfectly for the scene and its pretty clear right away that something pretty bad might be happening soon just from the atmosphere alone and then to have this sort of very much implied confrontation hinted at there works together very well to make a great start to this here first chapter.
Morris was the first to move, hurtling in a beeline in the other direction. The pursuer raced headlong across the waterlogged deck, on his heels. A rumble of thunder coursed through the ship, the planks churning under the pressure of a wave. Suddenly, a salty billow rose up and impaled both of them, the hostage skewered to a set of clapboard shutters. His body splayed across the ground, but he quickly recovered. With white-knuckled fingers, he clung to a stanchion and hauled himself up. He staggered forward. Hazed eyes swept the bow, desperate to find another exit. Then he saw it. A cacophony of yells pierced through the storm. Morris’ breath was short, audible and erratic like the steps that he took. Vision distorted, the pursuer slashed blindly at the hostage, triumphantly dragging him to the ground. Standing over him, he breathed through red, flared nostrils. Morris clambered to his feet and escaped the herd of ragged deckhands. That was when he realized that the North Star that he saw wasn’t a star at all. It was the light of the helicopter that he summoned. He suddenly knew that the water was the safest place to be. He vaulted over the edge of the ship, his body lurching through the black waves that lashed with the storm. Weary and weak, Morris dragged his water-heavy clothes heavenward, draping his arms over the rung of a rope ladder. Heavy, pot-sized hands grabbed his shoulders and hauled him into the helicopter. Laying his body spread-eagle across the floor, Morris let the North Star lead him home.
Okay this paragraph, while not that much bigger than that first one does have a bit of a problem being as large as it is because we've got a tiny bit more than just what's fit for one paragraph happening in there and I think dividing it up would help things out there. Otherwise, this is a very solid follow-up to that earlier situation with the staring contest here. I love the little sort of fight situation that goes down here. Its pretty well paced and the ending there which is pretty ambiguous makes for a nice touch there to be ending on. I think you've done quite a good job of really building up some nice tension, and then creating a lovely cliffhanger to end on so that we have no choice but to read on and figure out what happens there.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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