Published September 23, 2008
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141,687 Literary Works • 675,575 Reviews
I really liked it, it was so different from the normal things where "red = blood and red = hate blah blah blah"
I think you described the colour red in a totaly differnt way from that
which i like becuase different is always so much more exciting
keep writing cant wait to read more!
I enjoyed the overall flow of the poem, and the imagery and themes were well integrated.
Repetition was used nicely (in reference to "there" in the quoted stanza), but I was really hoping for some forms of rhyming in the poem. Even ambiguous use of assonance would have made it sound a bit more complex and lyrical.
Though, it was good regardless.
The descriptions went very nicely with the theme. It was short, but I can tell that a lot of personal memory and feeling went into it.
The "thumpthumpthumpthump" made it somewhat humorous. I think this is a poem anyone can read and smile at.
And anyone who doesn't smile at it is a heartless monster!
Just kidding.
Good job, anyways!