z

Young Writers Society


12+ Violence

The Lovebirds

by Corncob


     A/N: This is an alternative ending to the timeless classic The Birds, so if you haven't seen it, this just jumps right in from when Mitch, Cathy, Lydia, and Melanie are driving to the bridge in hopes of escaping the birds (final scene). 

     “Mitch, can I take the lovebirds? They haven’t harmed anyone.” Cathy’s eyes were begging, filled with unshed tears.

     “Alright, fine.” Mitch wound his arm around his younger sister’s shoulders and helped her carry the shiny, golden cage to the car. The grey, black, and white birds surrounded them. Their squawks pierced Mitch’s head, severing his mind permanently. He fought the urge to scream. He could feel Cathy quivering, tucked underneath his armpit. “It’s alright, Cathy. We’re going to the hospital; it will be safe there. Everything is going to be all right.” He could taste his lies, acrid and hot against his tongue.

     They waded through the mass of feathers and sharp beaks carefully, making their way to the car. Lydia and Melanie were inside, Melanie sprawled over Lydia’s shoulder. Cathy ducked into the car and huddled close to her mother, quaking with terror. Mitch began the slow, tedious drive over the curving road, his knuckles pale white against the cocoa leather of the steering wheel.

     The lovebirds cackled loudly, shattering the tension-filled silence. Melanie moaned softly, her eyes flickering open. When she caught sight of the green and red birds, she screamed, high and raw. Mitch yelled and swerved off the road, smacking into a group of unexpecting birds. They cawed loudly and scattered. Their black eyes flashed with loathing.

     “Get those birds out! Get them away!” Melanie wailed. She flailed about, hands smacking into Cathy and Lydia. The lovebirds shrieked in stress.

     “Darling! Darling, calm down! It’s alright!” Mitch couldn’t concentrate on driving. His mind was filled with a whirring sound, getting louder and louder with every second that passed. Just as he realized that the birds outside were attacking again, provoked by the sounds from the lovebirds, he felt something pointed and sharp nick into his ear.

     He whirled around, knowing it was the birds, the dreaded, horrible, flesh-gorging birds. He lunged forward blindly, anger curling like an iron fist in his gut. His hands fumbled for the black feathers that he knew so well, the coarse plumage that he had grown accustomed to over the past few days. He would kill those birds. He would kill every last one of them. He was sick of the demons, sick of the world of blood and violence that they had relentlessly created. He was sick of it and he would not stand for it any longer.

     His hands fastened around something round and soft, a bird’s neck, and he squeezed. He was too repulsed to look at it. He could hear Cathy and Lydia’s screams, their intermingled sobs. “It’s going to be all right,” he promised them. “They can’t hurt us when I’m here.” He pressed his fingers hard against the neck, eyes hardened with disgust and hatred.

     “Mitch, STOP! Please, please, stop…..” Cathy trailed off, sobbing, slumping into the cool leather of the car.

     “Cathy, shh. It’s going to be all right.” He felt the bird go limp beneath him, and satisfaction overwhelmed him. He pried his hands away from the hot skin.

     Skin?

     He finally looked at his victim, slain out beside Cathy and Lydia.

     It was Melanie. He had killed Melanie.

     Mitch felt sick, sick to his stomach. The world began to spin and tilt and he could hear somebody talking, and feel hot breath behind his ear, but it was like he was floating. Floating above everyone and watching them from above. Watching Cathy sob uncontrollably, watching Lydia scream and scream and scream, shoving Melanie’s body off of her. Watching Melanie on the car seat, her face absent of color, her eyes stained with scarlet threads.

     “Mitch! Mitch!” Cathy howled. Mitch blinked and stared at his sister, pointing to the lovebirds. They were flapping their wings anxiously, escaped from the cage. Melanie’s head had smacked into the top of the cage, jolting open the latch and releasing them. They flew near the window, pecking insistently, attempting escape.

     The birds outside battered every part of the car, and suddenly the glass shattered and everything got louder, closer, hotter. Feathers flapped everywhere, beaks poking and prodding. Cathy was still pointing and crying as the lovebirds delved into the mist of black feathers, two blotches of fading color amongst an ever-stretching darkness. As if a zombie, Mitch stood up and pursuited the lovebirds, knowing Cathy wanted them, loved them.

     The birds converged on him and he closed his eyes.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
99 Reviews


Points: 603
Reviews: 99

Donate
Thu Dec 24, 2015 10:51 pm
View Likes
Remington38 says...



Hello,
There are no words to describe how excited I was to see this was a Hitchcock fan fiction. I loved it!!!!!!!!!! Not a lot of people are familiar with this one so it makes me happy when people have great taste. This story was written well and I felt like it would fit well within the film. Have a great Christmas and holiday.

Continue writing!




Corncob says...


Wow, thanks for the awesome words--I really appreciate it! Happy holidays :)



User avatar
28 Reviews


Points: 484
Reviews: 28

Donate
Wed Mar 25, 2015 6:14 pm
View Likes
PebbleToad wrote a review...



Hello there 1morestupidlovesong! This is PebbleToad on a piece I couldn't help but review!

I am a large Hitchcock fan myself and I have to say I LOVED this and the way it was done. I could see this as a possible ending perfectly. (In my opinion, something like this was probably Hitchcock's original vision before the censor came in. :P) The way it was written was amazingly Hitchcockian, and it really captures that psychological horror he was so adept at. It sort of reminds me of the scene where a distressed mother accuses Melanie of causing the attacks. This piece captures that type of anxiety and anger and spontaneity amazingly. In the heat of panic, anything can happen, whether it is unexpected heroism or(the more interesting alternative) accidental murder. I also loved your sense of description. You walk the fine line of overkill and detailed description well. I could picture every scene in my head, and your imagination added more color to the scene as a whole. The ending was also wonderful, and a good I-know-what's-gonna-happen-but-I-don't-want-it-to-be-true cliffhanger. Loved it! My only critique is to clear up the ending. Why did Mitch kill himself? Did anyone escape? Anyway, epic write!




Corncob says...


Thank you so much for your amazing review! I'm glad that a fellow Hitchcock fan likes this piece :). Yeah, it seems the ending is not too popular with the public, but I wanted it to still contain that element of cliffhanger-ness, what happens to them that the movie ends with in the original. I really appreciate your criticism and I will definitely take it into mind! Thank you again.



User avatar
13 Reviews


Points: 261
Reviews: 13

Donate
Wed Mar 25, 2015 2:36 am
View Likes
AndrewRayne wrote a review...



A fine alternate viewpoint, and one that surely would have pressed eve the original as to which one could have been more inviting to remember. But of course, originals have a way of latching on to us right?

Regardless, the ending was a wonderful tragedy. You have a remarkable sense of vocabulary if this is indeed all self written, and an excellent view on how to capture the interest of a reader. The flow was on the same scale as our dear original, and I would even be so bold as to compliment it as being somewhat better. The driving home factor was for me at least more invigorating.

Furthermore, you're sense of imagery is wonderful. Never once did I have trouble seeing every detailed aspect of your scene, and you did a marvelous job of laving just enough of it out as to invite our own imagination to reveal the rest.

The only criticism I really have for this, as I am regrettably more suited to critiquing poetry rather than the script, is that the ending was in some ways disappointing. Not entirely so, but I fee the dramatic climax of the killing was not at all complimented by the act that he just... in all accuracy, walked out among the birds and died. Not that it wasn't a good ending, it just left me hanging. Kind of like the fabulous way 'Fifty Shades of Grey' ended... horribly simplistic to the whole.

Regardless, just for thought, and of course loved the read. 'The Birds' is a wonderful story and you did it justice with your alternate imagination. I look forward to reading more as time permits.

Till then.




Corncob says...


I did indeed self-write this entire thing, and thank you so much for the amazing review! I really appreciate all your praise and criticism. Yes, I can see how the ending could rather be a letdown; I will definitely consider your advice. Thank you so much again!



AndrewRayne says...


Of course. :)




I just write poetry to throw my mean callous heartless exterior into sharp relief. I’m going to throw you off the ship anyway.
— Vogon Captain (The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy)