There's a warning from a different point of view
telling these chords to stop.
Keep on honking but you're out of my view
which helps only to appall.
Can anybody hear me when I call?
Will anybody catch me in the trust fall?...
Walking in the meadow- hear somebody scream.
High heel stilettos- Run to me.
Fall face first
Man they got caught
but today's not yesterday.
Can't train my mind, can't tame my heart.
Can't change the memories not too far.
Can't make the path or where I might turn if I turn into yesterday.
High pitch piercing my ears
attacking until I fall.
Our time to be living like queens
but the hype never lasts for long.
A little bit of sympathy for someone.
Life is like a melody...
Gone Wrong
Walking in the meadow- hear somebody scream.
High heel stilettos- Run to me.
Fall face first
Man they got caught
but today's not yesterday.
Can't train my mind, can't tame my heart.
Can't change the memories not too far.
Can't make the path or where I might turn if I turn into yesterday.
Don't mind my thoughts
and why do I still get things wrong?
So I set aside my jurisdiction.
The world revolves nothing is fiction.
And where we're lost, we'll just keep inching to continue on.
I'm alive I can't look in the past.
There's a future but I walk around that.
The result is that I fall.
Stand up and touch me when the world seems gone.
Someone come and love me when I'm all out.
Walking in the meadow- hear somebody scream.
High heel stilettos- Run to me.
Fall face first
Man they got caught
but today's not yesterday.
Can't train my mind, can't tame my heart.
Can't change the memories not too far.
Can't make the path or where I might turn if I turn into yesterday.
When we are gone
lost in then past,
Eyes seem to wander into the darkness.
We'll just keep on like it's a test
Can anybody hear me when I call?
Will anybody catch up to me if I turn into yesterday?...
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140,545 Literary Works • 673,419 Reviews
Hi! Great lyrics!
First off, i'd suggest easing up a little on the use of periods. It interrupts the flow of the song.
Also, in the first stanza you rhymed 'View' with, well,'View'. Try to use something else, be creative! Blue, you, poo...
Another thing is the line "Can't change the memories not too far". I don't really understand the "Not too far" part.
In the line "Gone Wrong," while both words being capitalized adds drama, "Wrong" does not need to be capitalized.
The line "Nothing is fiction" needs to have it's own line.
Finally, I think you should tell us readers where the chorus begins and ends. Also, instead of constantly repeating the chorus, simply type: "Chorus".
Keep writing,
Fade <3
Thanks. I didn't see that
Cant change the memories not to far: this means that you can't change what happened not to long ago. Like, not too far from now.
Hi, I'm new here, and not too god at poetry reviewing, so forgive me if I don't make much sense.
Well, I like the idea of changing colors. I think you used it well to your advantage to break up the versus and the chorus. I have to say that I was looking forward to this poem when I saw the introduction, but this really confused me. It felt like I was reading riddles. But that might just be me, because it looks like the other two people who read this really enjoyed it.
I think the message you are trying to get across is a really important one though. In fifty years, what will holding grudges have done? will it really have helped or effected the world, at least in a positive way. If I misunderstood, then apologies
That's about all I have to say, I think. I hope this helps in some way or another.
P.S. I thought it sounded like song lyrics, so you did a good job of making that clear
*Vanishes*
Thank you:)
Hi
This is awesome. Really well written and I can't really find anything wrong. I understand why you repeated those lines and I think that was a good idea. It flows quite well. I think it is perfectly done. I can relate because my constant struggle is that I live in the past...
Good job. Keep writing.
Sorry if any of that doesn't make sense... I'm really tired.
Thank you
This is a cool poem! I like it!
Or is it a song?...
Thanks. oh and it's a song
Ah%u2026 Got it!