Published June 21, 2009
Simply Beautiful
Take a breath
Forget it all
Remember when
It was all
So beautiful
Chorus
Breathe it in
One last time
Make the effort
To try to find
You look and see
It’s simply beautiful
So beautiful
To the beginning to the end
I would like to thank you once again
And ill
Pass it on
Let them see the beauty in everything
Relax
And rejoice
Because you know
You’re exactly
Were your suppose to be
So please
Chorus
No greater joy
Oh no greater joy
I could ask for
Nothing more then to
Chorus x 2
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,690 Literary Works • 675,575 Reviews
Hello! Welcome to YWS!
She really took out all the grammar errors D;
Yes, Hawk is very much right, we're supposed to have review two things before posting. That's to make sure everyone's piece gets some reviews. It's not that bad either, Nate's told us some sites have ten review per post, which is much worse. -_-
I have a question. Do you sing as well? Some write songs, but they don't sing them. I'm very curious and I'm just lucky I'm not a cat.
Again, Hawk is correct again: this piece is really impressive.
The song fits together nicely, its order makes sense. The flow is okay. It's pretty epic.
You earned another star *stars this piece*
Yay!
If you need help, questions, or reviews, I'm only a PM away!
Also, I think you should state where the chorus ends. In songs, that always bothers me a lot.
Hi! Welcome to YWS! I'm Hawkie, and I'll be glad to help you out if you're a bit confused, so feel free to PM me. For a reminder, though, it's YWS etiquette to at least 2 reviews for every work you post. It's okay that you're behind, but it'd be best to catch up before you post anything else.
I really like this song you wrote, it's really impressive.
Just a few thing spelling/grammar wise:
Should be "I'll."
Should be "where you're."
Besides that, though . . . I love it, enough to wish that I could actually listen to it! You've earned a gold star.
Keep writing!
-Hawkie-