Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
She ran as fast as her legs could carry her. Blood, she thought. Blood and gore. It’s coming for me.
Bullets were coming for her. Bullets, not of steel, but of balled-up innards, wrapped up by veins and plasma like a present.
It was not the thought of being ridded of bullets that pushed her on, but the thought of someone else’s organs being shot at her disgusted her to the maximum. Not even just someone else’s organs, but X’s organs.
X.
Xavier.
It had been a while since she had seen him when he was Complete.
She ducked - lucky dodge. There went some alveoli.
She wondered how they reloaded that gun. They undoubtedly just stuck a cookie cutter into some part of their body, pulled it out, and rolled it into a ball. They probably even had a factory for that.
Forward roll. Cheerleading actually did help at the school in the lab. School. It had also been a while since she had seen school, let alone went to one. Besides, she was almost legal. A couple of months and she was free to roam unscathed. But not yet. Soon.
“Could you just stop moving, girl? It’d be easier to shoot you if you stood still!”
She just ran harder. “Isn’t the point of running to move away from something?” she shouted back. Stop shouting. Losing breath. Breath. Breathe. Precious.
“Why would you want to run away from me? I’m-” he abruptly stopped talking when he saw where she was running. “Are you serious? You’re running there?”
There. She could see it. Land of nasty creatures. Nastier than Xavier.
“Oi, girl!” She ignored him. She had a name, and he knew it. He sighed. “Erin! Stop running! I’ll stop shooting at you – look, I dropped my gun!”
Erin slowed to a walk, then stopped and turned around. “What?”
“If you run there,” he looked around furtively, “you’ll die! Those are the lands of the Offspring!”
So he still cared about her.
“Why do you care?” She spat. He had no right to care for her. No right at all. Not after he left.
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138,333 Literary Works • 672,104 Reviews
Yo, hamandcheese. I'm here to do some reviewing.
Blood, she thought. Blood and gore.
X.
at the school in the lab. School.
she had seen school, let alone went to one.
Stop shouting. Losing breath. Breath. Breathe. Precious.
So he still cared about her.
Spoiler
Combine both of these sentences and make all of her thoughts italics. The Italics part includes the next sentence as well.
Spoiler
Xavier.
I don't think there's a need for this super-duper ultra revealing statement to be made twice. Put them into one line and It'll look cooler B).
Spoiler
Thought I'd hit two birds with one stone here (because I despise murder). The first part doesn't make much sense, and I'd consider giving it some revision. The 'School' should be in italics, since it's another thought from the POV character.
Spoiler
Either make it 'a school' or change 'one' to 'it'.
Spoiler
Alright, you do this a lot. Make a sentence into a statement. That's all fine and dandy once in a while when you're trying to emphasize a point, but doing it so often just kills the meaning of it. Find a way to make all of these one sentence or just keep the 'Stop shouting' part.
Spoiler
“Why do you care?”
A bit repetitive, aye?
The rest was fine.
You have a fairly nice intro to a story here, if you could just work out the kinks. It would be much more suspenseful if you made those short sentence statements only once in a while, it would give them much more of an impact.
But you were right about one thing, you painted a pretty gory image in my head in the beginning there with the bullets, so kudos to you.
Good work and keep on writing
Salutations. I like the story you have set up here, with a lot of strings to go off of. I have a few suggestions:
Perhaps change one of those to add more variety.
That's a...nice image.
This sentence needs some rewording, I think. First, I'm not sure what you mean by "ridded of bullets". Perhaps reword that. Also, "disgusted her to a maximum" is out of place here. You're saying "the thought of someone else's organs being shot at her pushed her on", so "disgusted her to a maximum" isn't right with the current wording.
I don't really understand the use of just the first letter of his name, but perhaps there is a reason.
I believe alveoli are microscopic, so she wouldn't really be able to see them.
gone to one, I think. You were saying "since she had seen one", so it would be "let alone gone to one".
Firstly, "she" shouldn't be capitalized, unless you're saying that she actually spat on the ground. I presume you're saying that she spat the words, though.
Also, I think that should be "after he had left."
Well, all in all, this is mostly well-written and has the potential to be a really interesting story. Good luck with the next chapters!
Hello there, hamandcheeseisation.
My name is Ariel, and I am here to deliver a nice mixture of a comment and a review. 
First off, very nice story you have going. It doesn't explain very much, but it seems that you will obviously include more back story in the next few chapters. I love the whole "dystopian" aspect of the story you have going here. Just remember to use 1984 as a reference. <.< I love that book.~
Next, I'm not so big on the length of the chapter. This is a novel, and in novels, most chapters are about ten pages and up. Usually, the preface and epilogue are only a few pages long; I always think of them as "pick-ups" and "trailing off" of the story. ^-^ I'm not sure if this is your preface or chapter one, but I suggest clarifying that at the beginning of the story. I also recommend bolding it, so everyone knows.
Finally, it was great so far. No spelling mistakes, so far. I suggest you make it longer, again. Make the sentences longer, make the paragraphs exceed five sentences, etc. Also add in some nice imagery - be descriptive! You did use some fancy words, which is always nice to see, so good job on that and best of luck. Looking forward to seeing the next installment! Here's to hoping you'll give us a bit more background on this X.
Cheers!
~ Ariel.