Young Writers Society

The snow trailed onto the floral patterned carpet behind Elaine's unsteady footsteps. She exhaled and leaned against the closest wall for support. The lobby was bustling and twice as crowded as it had been earlier. After a moment of leisure she pressed forward in her search, straining against the burning sensation in her leg.

She heard her name called, and she veered around at the sound of it. Weston was hurrying towards her and he bumped into several people on his way there, brimming with excitement. "Elaine, did you hear? Dan put me in charge of his entire lecture!"

Weston put his eyes down as he turned a page, failing to notice Elaine was shying away, unable to veil her despair.

"I've already got half of it memorized. Is everything alright with him? I was hoping he wouldn't drop out last minute...he must've noticed the place was so packed that people've been squeezing in for a place to stand."

"Which way did he go off to?"

"He went out front—oh hey wait, have you seen Lin—"

Amongst the crowd, another man ran into Elaine and she fell to her knees with a pained squeak. Weston's aggression leaked out, perking him to step forward "Watch where you're going next time, you—oh, crap. Colin?"

Elaine was already off along the side of the hall to get out front. The chilled breeze and dark, star sprinkled sky met her as she stumbled in the thickened snow.

Dan stood across the courtyard. He held his head in his hand, immobile as Elaine reached him.

"I didn't see them anywhere inside. Did they run off?"

"They had to have."

She eyed the oversized courtyard and saw two sets of footsteps nearly crosshatching to the other end.

"Ash chased her all the way out there?"

"Guess so."

"Carly's already here. I'm going to go find them before—"

"Wait!" Dan grabbed her arm. "You'll just get lost if you follow them."

"They couldn't have gone far!"

"I think Lindsay's trying to go further out."

"What do you—she's trying to kill herself?"

"It's probably a better option than prison in her mind."

"We still have to—"

"I know that. Stay here."

Dan turned and began off on the left of the courtyard. Elaine rushed after him, but his quickened pace was too much for her weakened one. She wobbled onto the parking-lot pavement and paused, overcome by pain and nausea.

An engine a row ahead piqued out a suffocated gurgle, and Elaine immediately recognized it as Dan's car. She almost slipped on the ice and reached him distraught. He rolled down his window. "I told you to stay behind, what are you doing?"

"Have you lost your mind? You can't drive in this weather!"

"How else will I find them?"

"What about that blizzard?"

"I'm trying to find them before it comes through." He flicked the gear into reverse. "Just stay here and tell Carly I'll be back with—no, El!"

Elaine slammed the passenger door shut and buckled her seat-belt. She stiffened and said "You'll be more careful with me here. Which way are you searching?"

He stared. Her blue eyes glistened against the vibrant dark sky out the window behind her. He saw her thin lips forming a smile. Their son's hair had frizzled in the brisk weather so that it stuck up in the front against Elaine's chest where he buried his face to sleep. Elaine spoke but her voice was inaudible. He replied and heard no words come forth. She heard him however, and covered her mouth to conceal her noiseless laughter.

The young boy jumped awake, startled at first. Her muted laughter persisted as she tugged on a lock of his hair that was solidified by humidity, and the child blushed bright pink, reburying his face.

"Hey, Dan..."

Yes, El?

"You're hurting."

I am.

"Why would you want someone to hurt just the same?"

Because...

"Because she hurt you, right?"

She belongs rotting in prison.

"She belongs alive and well. We all do."

We may deserve to live but that doesn't mean we do.

"Dan?"

He blinked, his vision blurring as reality returned to focus. Elaine was still beside him, yet the boy had vanished as well as her chipper mood. She was almost in tears, yanking at his arm, searching his lifeless expression for a response. "Dan! What happened? Are you alright?"

What happened—? He wasn't sure.

"I'm fine."

He clenched the steering wheel and lifted his foot from the breaks, and the car continued on backwards. He drove off, his leg shaking slightly while he held down the pedal.

"Keep a lookout on that side." He instructed his wife, pointing to the woodland that surrounded either side of the iced road. "I'll watch this side. If you see any kind of movement, just let me know."

She nodded and gazed out the window. Dan was driving at a slow pace, and given the approaching bad weather the road was empty other than them. At times the wind would bristle the trees, but the black sky made it impossible to see beyond that.

They reached a turn-off that led to the back-roads they had traveled to arrive upstate and turned onto it. The road was narrow with a layer of snow drizzled down it. The snow crunched under the might of the tires, and Dan focused ahead with caution.

"Won't Weston be upset?"

He squinted at the road ahead which staggered every few moments. "Didn't you read my last session over?"

"Yes, but—"

"He doesn't love her."

"That's only her assumption, isn't it?"

"Listen, I tried to bring this up with him and he got upset. He knows if Lindsay's ever feeling on edge it's his fault."

"So you think he'd marry her just so he doesn't feel guilty about her sister dying?"

"He doesn't realize what he's doing. He just thinks he loves her. What the hell does it matter whether he cares about her or not?"

She didn't reply and struck her eyes back out the hazy window. He fought against his insides churning, tightening his grip against the wheel. "This will be the best thing for us. If she's behind bars she won't be hurting anyone ever again, don't you see?"

"You've decided for yourself what's best for us?"

"You don't seem to have any suggestions!"

"This isn't going to bring him back, why would you feel any better?"

"We will, we will—believe me, we'll feel so much better about this whole—"

"Dan, slow down!"

"I'm done with you pretending you're okay, I know you're not. I saw your new resume—has it gotten to the point you can't be around kids at all? Is that why you don't—"

"Dan!"

In an instant her hands reached towards him and he thought her to be comforting him until her hands flew the steering wheel to the far left. He caught glimpse of a young boy with flattened dirty blond hair and blazing brown eyes. The child stood in the middle of the road, tears streaked down his face as if in that moment he had no other choice but to die.

"No!"

Elaine's scream was the last thing he heard before everything collapsed behind blackness. And then suddenly, he was back where he started, dashing into the hotel without bothering to shake the snow from the soles of his shoes. He squeezed through a tight crowd and bumped directly into Weston.

"Oh, hey Dan. Have you seen Lindsay anywhere?"

"Not recently."

"I could use some advice. I really fucked up this time-I mean, the words just kinda slipped out and she—"

"Sorry but I'm in a hurry. Can you do me a favor?"

Weston nodded slowly. "Anything besides taking your spot in the—"

He handed him the key to his hotel room. "The notes are in my room."

"Damn, don't do this! It's such a huge opportunity for you! So many people are waiting to see you on stage!"

"As long as it's my material it's all the same. I think you've got most of it down anyway, you've been watching me practice all week."

"…I don't know if I—"

"You can."

Weston clenched his teeth together, pocketing the key. "Okay. I'll do my best. By the way, I wanted to say thanks for helping me out all this time. I've really improved with Ash...she's not as tough as she looks. It's not only that, but I think I've learned since we started working together."

"Have you?"

"Naturally. I know it wasn't you who hired me but I'm glad I have the chance to work with you. You're brilliant at what you do!"

But he did not feel very brilliant at all. His chest swelled and he closed his eyes, holding his head. What a horrible sensation! Weston respected him, shouldn't he be happy? Why did those words sting him?

"Sorry, but I've really got to be...."

When he opened his eyes again, the color that overwhelmed his retinas was white. Even in the dark of the night a sheet of white snow was visible along the dashboard, shards of glass entangled with it.

He sat still. Was he alive? His heart pounded steady in his chest and he held his bloodied hands against it in disbelief. Could it be he was alive?

He reached over to Elaine, pushing away hair that fell over her face. He lifted her chin and tried to wake her to no avail, then rummaged her neck for a pulse. She was alive!

He shook her gently, calling her name until she raised her head on her own accord. Her eyes sought for him through pitch black. "D-Dan?"

"I'm here. I'm right here. You'll be okay. Can you lean back a little?"

"I'm scared...he looked really bad, I don't think he's going to make it." she reached her trembling hands for his reddened ones. "They took him in by helicopter…what are we going to do?"

"Huh—?"

"I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry, it's all my fault. He's not going to make it and it's all my—"

She couldn't draw back her tears, and they fell down her bruised cheeks, plopping onto Dan's hands. In that moment he recognized her plight and it wasn't something he had ever wanted to see repeated.

"It'll be okay, I promise. Please let me see your side, El. You're bleeding. Lean back a bit for me."

"No—stop—"

"El, don't—"

"Stop, please! I'm okay! Just, please—we have to get to the hospital to see him."

He pulled away and unbuckled his seatbelt, attempting to pry the door open. He thought if he could get her out of the vehicle she may come to her senses.

The door opened after long minutes of lurching snow, piling it away from the door until he could force himself out. The wind blew lightly to foretell the storm, and the snow drizzled onto its victims below.

The road was visible from a distance, uphill from where they had tumbled. He hobbled forward to the other side of the car, burning his cut hands on the slush. When he opened the door, Elaine had fallen asleep with her hands pressed to her pierced side.

"El..." he patted her. "El, wake up. We can't sleep out here, okay? El—?"

He assured her eyelids were uplifted and examined her side while she gazed at broken shards of windshield cluttered in her lap. He pushed past the deflated airbag and unbuckled her seatbelt, picking her up like a doll, protecting her face and matted hair.

His arms ached and even so he managed to carry her halfway to the stoop of the hill where a violent fit of coughs wore him to his knees. He let her legs lay across the untouched snow, freeing a hand to cover his coughs and gags. He wiped away blood that dribbled down his chin, puzzled as to why he would be bleeding inside-out.

He spit out a thicket of blood and brought his wife closer to him.

"Elaine…I could never really hurt Lindsay. As much as I want to, I can't…"

She gazed into his eyes, her hands still pressing her side. "I'm sorry…"

"For what?"

"I couldn't bear to tell you…"

"Tell me what?"

"I miss him...he's there when I'm sleeping, he's there when I'm awake…"

"El?"

"Everything reminds me…I don't know what I should do."

"It'll be okay now. We'll make everything okay."

"It's not okay, it's not...Ash...you hit Ash…"

"I—"

He took a breath and placed her down. That's right, who had he hit? He had seen his own son standing there before, and he knew now that it couldn't have been real. He got her comfortable and told her he would return soon. He hovered over her a few moments longer.

"I love you."

"I love you too…"

He sped off to the hill and steadily crept up it. He pulled himself up to the road and towards Ash who was sitting, holding her chest. She gasped and veered to face him. "M—Mr. Phillips?"

He nodded and hacked up more blood, flicking it away. "What's hurting you?"

"M-my lungs are on fire...it hurts..."

Dan's eyes lingered over to Lindsay's body. The pink had dissolved from her cheeks and lips.

"She's okay, I tied her wound..." Ash reassured. "Please don't be mad at me, Mr. Phillips. I caught her and held her down and—I made it so she wasn't breathing—but...I just couldn't do it. I thought of my parents and you and Mrs. Phillips and Weston and—"

"Did she protect you when I hit?"

"You hit us? Why?!"

"I didn't mean—"

"Do you have a phone? We can call for help!"

"No I don't. Did you hit the side of your head there? It's bleeding."

"It doesn't hurt, I'm okay. It's my lungs hurting; I don't know what's wrong..."

"You may have broken some ribs. Can I see your head?"

He stepped forward to push her hair back, revealing her scalp. She covered her ears, but not soon enough for Dan to have missed them.

"You saw!" Ash cringed. "Please don't laugh at them, please!"

"Why would I laugh?"

"They're ugly and misshapen! I have to keep my hair long to hide them…"

"They're not ugly."

"I look like an elf!"

"Ash, hold still so I can—"

She flung out of his arms, re-parting her hair to fall over her pointed ears. "Stop helping me! What about her?"

Dan was forced to see Lindsay again as Ash shot accusing points to her lifeless body. A guilty pang shot through him, his response heavy in the air. "I don't think she's…"

She shook her head. "It can't be. She was talking to me just before you got here."

"Why did you follow her out here, Ash?"

"I knew she was trying to escape!"

"You should have let us handle it."

Her eyes watered and she pursed her lips. He sheltered his torn hands in the pockets of his coat as a fresh wave of wind whistled by, flurrying the snow that lingered in the air. The tears that glistened around her eyelids transformed into loud sobbing that bounced off the barks’ of the trees. Her crying wore her out quick enough and she settled back onto the ground, holding her side. "Why did she save me? Why?"

"I don't know…"

"She told me she was sorry…she wanted me to tell you she was always searching for you…what did she mean?"

Being Lindsay Roland's therapist, he knew of the suffering her conscious often endured. It wasn't uncommon for her short term guilt to fester, let alone her deep regrets. If she was suffering then there was no doubt she was searching for the victim.

A dim light down the distant road fell into sight. The wind and snow obscured it, but as it approached he was able to recognize the beams as headlights. Ash's tears were cut short when it slowed to a stop in front of them. Luke Simmons emerged from the front seat into the cold, holding down his hair which the beginnings of the storm tampered. "What the hell are you doing out here?"

The passenger door opened and Carly edged out in shock. Ash flung her arms around Luke, who was already in the process of calling for an ambulance.

"Dan," Carly shouted above the whippings of wind as she approached the scene. "What did you do?"

"I—…"

"Christ! She's dead…"

Luke hung up and stood up, releasing Ash so that she could cling helplessly to his leg. "They don't know how fast they can be here with this storm brewing over the entire area. Who else was in the car with you?"

Elaine! She had slipped his mind! He followed the tire tracks to the hill and hurried down it, ignoring Luke's frantic shouts to stay on the road. He staggered to where her body lay and lifted her. Her eyes were shut as if she had dozed off. He felt for a pulse but didn't find one. "El?…El!"

It couldn't be. He held her close to him—she was a little warm. He embraced her in silence as if it was his last, and carefully picked her up. If she was dead it was his fault, just as Lindsay’s death was.

What's happened to me? My eyes are open and yet it's as if I'm not…

He closed his eyes. If one wasn't awake with his eyes open, would he wake when he shut them?