Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Other » Dramatic

Just needed to be said.

by Pinktoes

I was never really popular. I mean, I love being social and hated being lonely, but I guess there is just something about me that just...turns people off. Some days I hated myself, too, because I felt like I wasn't good enough. I wasn't invited to the big sleepovers on Saturday nights, I would usually find myself searching for something to read on a Saturday and falling asleep around nine. I like to write, I like humor and I like being athletic. Maybe I'm not pretty enough for all my other friends, and that's why I'm not a part of their small group. Maybe I'm too busy. Maybe I'm too weird. What made me the most depressed feeling, however, was knowing that they like my best friend more than me. Every time someone met me, they would like me at least a little. But after they met my best friend, they loved her and everything about her. She had this overwhelming confidence that I couldn't reach because I brought myself down. She is prettier, smarter and more social than me. Some nights this killed me inside. Most days it does.

I just wish... I don't even know.

I just wish I could learn to accept myself.

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
1314 Reviews

Points: 23411
Reviews: 1314

Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:20 am
Hannah wrote a review...

So! This sounds like it was probably just a rant and so maybe you were okay with not receiving reviews on it, right? But it's been lost so long that I felt it would be nice to give you something to work with. It might help you with any future writing, even if this is not something you want to work to edit.

So right away I want to point out the strongest moment:

I would usually find myself searching for something to read on a Saturday and falling asleep around nine.

This is strong because it gives an image and an emotion without saying, "I looked for something boring to do and I went to bed early, which made me feel lame because everyone else was probably staying up late on a weekend". You know? There's a difference between communicating and explaining. Here, you communicate what you're feeling without explaining it exactly the way you do with most of the rest of the text here.

I also think there's a lack of organization. This seems like you wrote it as you were thinking through it for the first time. Which is fine for getting all your thoughts out, but once you've done that you should look at your material and organize it. You say "I was never popular", and stick to that for a while, but suddenly you're comparing yourselves to your friends rather than the other people that might judge you, which leaks into being jealous of you best friend, and finally you say you have problems because you can't accept YOURSELF, not because other people don't invite you places.

I think this is a very legitimate topic. You may not know it, but adults still struggle with this. We know that if you just stop caring about what other people think, you can be happy with your flaws and virtues, but that's the hard part: detaching your emotions from the society around you, I guess.

In future rewrites of this (or future pieces in general), I'd like to see more imagery. More of that communication without explanation.

PM me if you have any questions.

Good luck and keep writing!

Pinktoes says...

Hey thanks! :) I'm kind of a roller coaster of emotions, I wrote this when I was all sad... the grammar makes me cringe reading it now. I'll try to work with this piece and maybe include it into a story... it was just some random thing. Thank you! :)

User avatar

Points: 645
Reviews: 2

Thu Oct 25, 2012 3:22 am
WGirl says...

I know how you feel. I'm in almost the exactly same situation! I really wish I could be more confident too.
But hey, you just gotta keep your head up and be positive. You'll get through this.
In the meantime, I could be your friend! ^_^

Pinktoes says...

Thanks :) I just really wanted to put this out there!

User avatar
42 Reviews

Points: 1592
Reviews: 42

Tue Oct 23, 2012 1:36 am
Raelyn723 says...

I know the feeling sometimes :/ sorry you feel that way. But hey, there's plenty of people willing to be your friend on here! And there's somebody out there that's waiting just for you ;)

Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.
— Martin Luther King Jr.