Young Writers Society

Hi there! Noelle here to review as requested.

The dew tis frosted on the ground,
Trees without leaf cover and surround.
The part I put in bold confuses me. I don't have anything to say except for that. Did you mean to say something like the trees are hiding from the dew? Or maybe the trees without leaves instead of leaf?

White dancing faeries float by my face,
Setting down so soft and with grace.
By taking out the 'and' here, everything flows better.

Everything be peaceful,
Not one thing make a sound.

Watch the clouded night go by,
Listen to the wind's sweet song

Do treasure silent moments,
Be careful, they don't last long.

Do treasure silent moments,
Be careful, they don't last long.

Hey Rainn!

Thanks for requesting a review! I'll do my best to give you a good review on your poem.

I really like the scene you set forth- calm and peaceful, yet a bit sad at the same time. It's just blissful to imagine myself on a cold winter's eve, reflecting.

I can't find anything I'd change about it. Your punctuation and capitalization are flawless. The only question I have is about the way you spell 'faeries, but I know that I've seen that odd spelling before, so I'm assuming it's proper.

I'm afraid my review won't be very helpful for you, as I can't comment on pace and rhythm, because, well, I have no idea how it's supposed to be. It was easy to read, which I always appreciate in poems- yet it wasn't dumbed down, a thing I appreciate in anything I read.

It was a really good poem. I really did enjoy reading it.

Keep writing!

~Shady

Hi there I'm here to review your poem, because I'm nice I am 567ajt, if you want my name for future reference. May I say that I really like your title? It seems reflective and kind of depressing, which is up my street.

So, let's take this step by step.

"The dew tis frosted on the ground,
Trees without leaf cover and surround."

I like the language you're using in this stanza. It seems very complex and the way you've arranged your words, is very delicate and precise. Safe to say I find it beautiful. I love your use of surround, for some reason I just find it beautiful.

"White dancing faeries float by my face,
Setting down so soft and with grace."

This paints an image of beauty, as well as possessing connotations of innocence. I really like how these faeries are "soft" and with grace. It makes me feel as if the world your poem is set in, is a Utopia. I also love the use of the word "float", perhaps to show these faeries are as light as air. Nice job.

"Everything be peacful,
Not one thing make a sound."

Silence is elegant, in your view. And I agree. I personally agree with you. Oh, and "peacful" should be peaceful. But this is only a minor detail.

"Watch the clouded night go by,
Listen to the wind's sweet song"

The wind singing could empathise the theme of nature, as with the previous stanza. Do you often write about nature? Because I really think you're good at it. You seem to understand nature, and describe it in great detail, without it sounding like a preach on the environment. Nice.

"Do tresure silent moments,
Be careful, they don't last long."

"Tresure" should be treasure, but again this is easy to fix. I love this stanza because of the focus on silence. The poem is literally about silence, and how they are not always awkward.

I loved this. Great job. You have just gained yourself a fan