Young Writers Society

Chapter 4 – Remorse

The four travelers enjoyed each other’s company as they ate around the campfire. Juliana praised her grandfather’s storytelling ability, and it only took Dyne a few brief tales about his youth before Lucian was impressed as well.

“It’s only natural,” Dyne chuckled. “I’ve much more material to draw upon than the rest of you.”

“Material?” Radi scoffed. “Is that what you call it?”

“It’s the most neutral word I can think of at the moment.”

Radi crossed his arms. “Hmm, and remaining neutral is what you do best isn’t it? I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“Don’t start that again Radi,” Juliana said. “Tell us about Melliark Grandpa. What is it like? Have you seen the castle?”

“Oh yes, the castle is incredible,” he answered. “It can be seen from anywhere in the city.”

“How can that be?” Lucian asked. “Isn’t Melliark enormous?”

Dyne chuckled again and smiled. “I thought the same thing before I saw it for myself. The castle is actually separate from the Melliark.”

“Separate?”

“That’s right; it rests on a massive cliff which overlooks the city from above. Anyone traveling to the castle must take a lift to the top. The pulleys they use are incredible.” Dyne continued to answer questions about the group’s destination, describing the capital city as he remembered it from his youth. He used his hands to compare the size of the various streets and structures. “Oh, and the Feraton river runs straight through town from the south side. It eventually empties into the sea in the far north.”

Juliana was entranced by the excitement in his words. “Have you been to the cleric school Grandpa?”

“Well, I know where it is, but I’ve never been there myself. I was young back then Julie; I spent most of my evenings in the taverns.”

“Oh, I see.”

“But let me tell you, those nights were well spent! The women there were so beautiful. One evening I asked a girl to dance with me, and I couldn’t help but--” He stopped himself as he leaned away from the group.

Juliana and Radi stared at him with wide eyes.

“Yes? Yes?” Radi said as he gestured for Dyne to continue. “Couldn’t help but what?”

“I’m sorry, but I’ve said enough for now.”

“You can’t be serious!” Radi snapped. “It was finally getting interesting. Finish the thought at least!”

Dyne turned to Lucian. “So Lucian, what business do you have at the capital?”

“Don’t ignore me old man!” Radi shouted.

Juliana sensed her brother’s anger building, and she interrupted him before he could begin his rant. “Please be quiet for now Radi. Grandpa has been carrying the conversation all night. Let him rest.”

Dyne and Lucian stared at Radi in silence.

Radi sighed. “Not you too Lucian.”

But Lucian did not respond.

“Very well, but I’ll remember this,” Radi said. “You’ll finish that story another time old man.” Radi lie down on his blanket and turned away from the group. He became quiet as his back disappeared into the darkness beyond the flames.

“He’s had a long day,” Dyne whispered. Juliana and Lucian giggled along with him briefly until he spoke up again. “So, what calls you to Melliark Lucian?”

Lucian stared into the fire and said nothing.

If he wouldn’t tell me, then he won’t tell Grandpa, Juliana thought. I should change the subject so he won’t feel uncomfortable.

“Do we really need to know Grandpa?”

“I’m not forcing him,” Dyne answered. “There’s no harm in asking is there? I’m just curious.”

Juliana looked to her right at Lucian. “Well I don’t think he wan--”

“No, it’s alright,” Lucian said. “I don’t have anything to hide.”

What’s this all of a sudden? He was so secretive earlier, she thought. Why is he so willing to speak up now? Has he really come to trust Grandpa that much already?

“Let’s hear it then,” Dyne said.

Lucian glanced at Juliana and sighed. “Well…I’m actually going to Melliark…to enlist.”

“What?” Juliana shouted.

Radi leapt out from the shadows and stumbled back to his seat by the fire, rejoining the conversation with a renewed sense of enthusiasm. “Y-You’re joining the military?”

Lucian nodded.

“Outstanding!” Radi shouted. “So you must be at least eighteen then, yes? And you said enlist! So you’re volunteering?”

“Yes,” Lucian answered. “I turned eighteen last month, and I haven’t been drafted.”

“I knew I couldn't be the only one who wanted to volunteer! We may get placed in the same battalion! Or even the same company if we’re lucky enough!”

No, no this can’t be true! Juliana thought. He said the soldiers would kill him if he… Why would he do such a thing? Oh no, I told him that joining the military would likely get Radi killed! What did he think when I said that? Juliana stared at Lucian in disbelief before turning to Dyne, who sat in silence with a scowl directed at her brother.

Radi took command of the conversation as if he started it himself, rambling on and on about the military as Dyne and Juliana struggled to get a word in. He asked Lucian additional questions, but often interrupted before Lucian could finish his response.

Dyne’s face reflected a look of growing anger and frustration. He held his hand out and interrupted Lucian so Radi could hear him. “That’s enough Radi,” he said. “Give someone else a chance to speak for now.”

Radi ignored his grandfather’s request with dismissive wave. “We should spar tomorrow Lucian. If only you told me sooner! We could have tested our skill earlier today while it was still light.”

“I said that’s enough Child!” Dyne yelled as he stood and walked over to Radi.

Radi stood and came face to face with Dyne as Juliana sprang from her seat and tried to separate them.

“I’ve had enough of your orders old man!” Radi shouted. “And enough of your insults as well!” Radi reached over Juliana’s shoulder and pushed Dyne with an open palm.

“Stop it Radi!” Juliana pleaded. The two men shouted over her as she forced her way between them and tried to push Radi away.

Dyne leaned over her back and pointed his finger near Radi’s face. “Don’t anger me any more than you already have Radi! I’m warning you now, don’t touch me again!”

“Ha! You’re not going to do anything old man. That’s not who you are anymore. And even if you did, we both know that fighting me would only be the second worst decision you’ve ever made!”

Juliana covered Radi’s mouth with both hands. “Please stop Radi! What if Mother was here to see this? What would she say to you both?”

Dyne sighed and backed away. “She’s right Radi; we’ve nothing to gain from this. I’m sorry.”

Radi grabbed Juliana’s wrists and squeezed them until she stepped away from him. He glared at Dyne and stormed off towards the tent. “You’re not sorry for enough!” He entered the tent and extinguished the lantern illuminating the interior.

Dyne looked at Juliana with concern as they returned to their seats by the fire. “I’m sorry you both had to see that,” he said. “I shouldn’t have provoked him Julie. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” she sighed. “I forgive you. It was rude of him to jump in and ignore us like that…but it’s over now. Let’s just pretend it never happened.”

“Very well then,” Dyne said. “So…may I ask why you’ve decided to join the military Lucian?”

“Well…I’m looking for my brother.”

Why is he so open with Grandpa? Juliana wondered. He doesn’t seem nearly as nervous as he was earlier. Perhaps he’s come to fully trust us now? But how could he do that knowing we’re from Marceris?

“Oh, your brother?” Dyne asked. “Is he a soldier?”

“Uh, no. I actually don’t know where he is. Five years ago he…he ran away. My mother told me that I may be able to find him if I enlist.”

“He ran away?” Juliana asked. “Why would Baldren leave the valley? How will enlisting help you find him?”

“Wait, what valley?” Dyne asked. “And who is Baldren? Is that your brother Lucian?”

Juliana covered her mouth as Lucian stared at her in anger and disbelief. Oh Goddess! Why did I say that? “I, I’m sorry Lucian! I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry!”

Lucian shook his head and closed his eyes as he looked away from her. He made two fists with his hands and took a deep breath.

Why did I do that? I promised I wouldn’t say anything! How could I be so careless?

The conversation came to an abrupt end as Juliana and Lucian both looked in opposite directions and said nothing. The group was quiet until the sound of Radi’s snoring broke the long, awkward silence.

Dyne attempted to ease the tension. “That’s the most pleasant thing to come from his mouth all day!” he said. But neither Juliana nor Lucian laughed along with him. “Hmm, perhaps he had the right idea. Today has been long enough for everyone.”

Juliana and Dyne cleared the area of the plates, utensils, and leftover meat. Dyne began to clean the blood off his skinning knives when Lucian surprised them by responding to the previous question.

“Dyne, my brother’s name is Baldren. He’s seven years older than me.”

“I’m sorry Lucian,” Juliana said. “I shouldn’t have said anything. Please forgi--”

Lucian raised his voice and spoke over her. “You see Dyne; there is a chance that my brother is in another country, and I will receive special travel rights if I complete the standard military service required.”

Juliana turned towards the tent and stood behind Dyne to hide herself from Lucian’s view. He, he ignored me again… Anything I say now will only make things worse. How could I be so inconsiderate? She felt her grandfather’s hand on her back as he turned to comfort her, but she was lost in her own grief.

Dyne spoke to Lucian while facing away from him. “Well Lucian, I was a soldier myself many years before I married. You do know that you must serve a full three years before you’re allowed to travel freely right? And that doesn’t include any additional training you might need.”

“Yes, I am aware of that.”

“And did you also know that we are at war with Serathyme? It’s a very dangerous time to volunteer.”

“Where are you going with this?” Lucian asked.

Dyne took hold of Juliana’s hand and stood back to back with her as he turned to Lucian and spoke in a serious tone. “Look, it’s your decision. I won’t try to persuade you, but no one knows how long this war will last. There is a strong chance that you may see a great deal of combat over the next three years. I just wanted to be sure that you understood the risks.”

“Thank you for your concern, but if becoming a soldier is what I must do to find Baldren… then the risk is not important.”

Juliana ran ahead of Dyne and looked down at Lucian with her arms extended on each side. “How can you say that?” she shouted. “Aren’t you afraid of what might happen to you?”

Dyne placed his hands on her shoulders and tried to calm her. “That’s enough Julie. It’s time we all got some sleep for tomorrow.”

But Juliana persisted and shrugged his arms off. “I know what you’re thinking Lucian! You’re just like Radi. You think that joining the military will get you what you want, but it will only get you killed!”

Lucian quickly stood and confronted her with wide eyes and clenched fists at his side. He shouted at her in a hateful tone as his face turned red. “What I want? What I want? You think you know what I want? You don’t even know me! You don’t know anything!” His hands shook as he breathed heavily through his mouth.

Juliana cowered behind Dyne as Lucian screamed at her. She trembled in fear from the rage in his voice. Wh-What have I done?

“Hey!” Dyne shouted, “You can’t talk to her like that! Watch your tongue boy!”

Lucian backed away as soon as Dyne scolded him, and his voice changed back to its familiar, soft inflection. “J-Juliana I, I didn’t mean to--” He took two small steps back and lowered his head. “I…I’m sorry I, I just…” Lucian turned away from them and retreated into the darkness.

Juliana tried to call out to him, but Dyne turned to her and shook his head.

“Let him go,” he said. “Give him some time. I’m sure he’ll be back.”

“But it’s my fault Grandpa! I told him I wouldn’t tell anyone. I…I ruined everything.”

Dyne embraced her and took her hand once again. “Don’t dwell on it Julie. What’s done is done. You already apologized, so it’s up to him to forgive you. It’s the same as what happened between me and Radi earlier.”

“No, this is different,” she said.

“No it’s not Juliana. You’re just not accustomed to being the one who needs forgiveness.”

“But I--”

“Come, I’m sure you will feel better in the morning.” He dowsed the fire and led Juliana through the darkness to the tent. “It’s time to get some rest.”