Mystery: it pours from her eyes,
A danger she projects to all mankind
A wall on her soul where bound love lies
And who is to blame for her slow demise?
A mask of hate to shield her pain
Like the shield she yields for the crystal rain
Of the tears that flow when she is truly alone.
Tears that come like breathing when her breath is labored
Dying on her lips are the drops like the death of herself that drips
From her eyes.
And from those eyes:
Mystery.
Her lips are where her words die.
The words she wants to rant, to rave
But who are they to see her cry?
The ones who built this crumbling wall
They don’t deserve to have it all
Because all, everything, is what they took from her.
And yet, they cause her to fall.
But they’ll never see that shrouded shame,
Never is when they’ll know her name.
And what is her name?
Mystery.
Beautiful sorrow, all that remains
But that sorrow’s beauty hides under the chains
Of that shining spiteful pallor consuming her life.
But, life? What is that?
For she no longer knows the meaning of the word.
The thought of living, completely absurd
Because of what she has known.
Known forever.
Forever is hell, but what, then, can be heaven?
Death.
But death remains unknown, like her.
Death and she, one and the same:
A Mystery.
Who is she? People always wonder
For her stone exterior can only make them ponder
And guess at her identity. But they can’t know.
Her identity is what she wants it to be.
Her name is hate, strength, anger, beauty
Confidence.
But her name is not what makes her, for her identity is her essence.
Her interior: fear, agony, hopelessness,
Emptiness.
Because what once filled her now is banished.
Ripped from her arms like a screaming Mandrake from the ground
Dark tendrils of hellishly scorching flames destroying.
Destroying everything she knows.
Her home, her family, even her foes
But that was a time when there was nary an enemy
Just love. But love is fleeting.
Fleeting like the joy that once sparkled in her eyes.
But sparkles only remind her of the inferno city.
Shining, dancing, not a pity
But look deeper like you should look deeper at her.
Evil souls, appearing to be helpful.
But she knows more than anyone that looks can be deceiving.
Can lead you to believe one thing, but the true thing you are receiving:
Mystery.
Perhaps they just sped up what Fate was to do,
So their souls could just be born anew somewhere else,
In someone else with tears so few
Unlike her.
Because no matter where our lives began
No matter what we think we’ve planned or where we live,
Or who we are,
Our feeble bodies only take us so far
Because we all end the same way.
So perhaps as she masked herself one last time,
She thought she was doing the world a favor.
Everyone would die anyway.
Who cares about where your grave shall lie?
While the stone crumbled from the city walls
So did her stone heart, and she just watched as the city
BURNED! AND BURNED!
Burned like her wrath that no one expected!
No one would ever know it was her, because she only stayed hidden
Her TRUE danger lied within, but those chains had come off
Though with the release of those chains her fear had claimed
Her beating heart that no longer shall beat after today!
Everyone would be gone, no one to understand her.
No one to care except curious wonder, but never shall they know.
She would leave her town that was never a home like she left herself:
A Mystery.
I really really liked this. When I first started reading I had no idea that it would get so intense the more I read. I kind of got a head of myself while reading I was intrigued. I didn't notice anything wrong with anything. It was amazing. I liked how some parts rhymed and sometimes it didn't at all. There was a pretty good mixture and I admired it so much. There was definitely a "mystery" going on the time I was reading. Like I can't help but wonder what each thing symbolizes and its hard for me to think about it. But this was truly amazing.
Its a very nice poem and I liked it. There are no mistakes in the poem however you might want to groom up your poem a bit. Like sorting it out into stanzas and punctuating it a bit more properly and that will make this poem look less bulky and shorter. Overall this poem has a very graceful touch and it is a really good poem. Well done and keep writing...
Hello! My name is River and I'll be reviewing you today! Okay lets begin with your capitalization, although it dosent break a rule of any kind, I feel that it gives an unprofessional look to the words. But that is simply my opinion. I must admit, when I first started reading this piece, I expected it to be yet another young girl whining about her miserable life in a small town. But what I found was something deeper. Although that seems to be the general story, you made it more elegant and original than I assumed it would be. I congradulate you on that. I really liked this piece, keep writing
It's not about me, or anyone in particular
but thanks! Also, I will go back over it and proofread it, I only copy and pasted from the rough copy and didn't think to proofread.